Being Scared for no reason

[**grunge gurl**]

I'll tell you the story first...

...2 years ago I really REALLY fancied this guy 2 years older than me who went to my school. We used to chat to each other and stuff, but nothing more. Then he went off to college and that was the last I saw of him. I fancied him for about 9 months in total and that's a long time when I was only 14 :p

Anyway...since then I've had a boyfriend for over a year and had a great relationship, lost my virginity with him etc etc, and then it ended pretty badly :(

So...about a month ago the guy who I fancied 2 years ago contacted me :D I was pretty shocked etc and he's still as good looking as I remember him :p Anyway, we met up once and we get on really well and now he's asked me to be his 'fuck buddy'. The only thing is I am really scared. I don't understand why because I had a great sex life for nearly a year, I got over the self concious bit etc. But now, I seem to be back where I was when I first started having a sexual relationship with my ex. :confused:

It's all so confusing! I don't really know why I'm posting this, just for advice I spose!! xxx

[~lil*butterfly~]

I think having sex with someone new for the first time is pretty scarey. I think you could have sex with the same person for years and years and feel confident about it, but still feel very nervous about sex with someone else. I don't think I'm explaining this very well!:( If your last relationship ended badly that could have taken away a lot of your confidence. When I split with my ex all my sexual confidence went. He wasn't the first person I'd been with, but somehow all my sex confidence was tied up with him. It took a wee while to get it back, but luckily I have a loving and supportive boyf. I've never been in a fuckbuddy situation so I don't know if it'd be OK for you to tell him you feel worried about this. Sorry for this long and probably useless post.

[lucifer devil]

Sex with a new person is always (presumably) going to be a bit daunting, but I'm sure that once you get going you'll be fine. It might just take you a bit of time to get your confidence back and what not.

[spongebobsgirl]

whenever you sleep with someone new for the first time, its always scary, cos everybody is different+likes different things. By fuck buddies, does he mean he wants to be with u, in a relationship, or sleep with u ASWELL as other people?? Be careful, as you aint spoke to him for 2 years, and dont know what he's like all that well, give friendship a go first! good luck :thumb: :D

[Mizz_pink]

Also, you could be finding this scary because in the past you've had a relationship-based sex life, where things were comfortable and close and meaningful. Maybe the thought of sex with less emotional meaning is a bit daunting...

I think you should be careful before getting into a 'fuck buddy' relationship with this guy, because from experience I know that us girlies tend to get a lil too attached sometimes, and then it hurts...lots.

[Poison_Girl666]

I think you should be careful before getting into a 'fuck buddy' relationship with this guy, because from experience I know that us girlies tend to get a lil too attached sometimes, and then it hurts...lots.


too true. i had a particularly bad experience with my ..er.."ex fuck buddy"- it totally messed up my head because i ignored the number one unwritten rule about fuck buddies....... make sure you both feel exactly the same way-no more no less than each other- i felt a lil bit more than what he did haha doh it got soooo messy! but anyway!enough rambling about that.
fuck buddies are two people who have a mutual agreement to have no strings attached sex basically. so all the sex without a relationship. *sigh* seemed like a good idea at the time..:(

ahem. i digress...

i agree with what Mizz Pink said about being careful about approaching this situation-its not always as simple as you think its going to be.and yeh, maybe you are feeling nervous because so far your sex life has ment something and youve been comfortable because you really knew that person, and this is the complete opposite situation - a situation whereby you cant get emotionally involved.......

think about it hun-
good luck!
xxx

[**grunge gurl**]

Thanks guys! Knowing me I'll propbably get too attached to this guy because it's just me and that's the way I am. Yea my last relationship was a very loving and close one and being someones 'fuck buddy' is gonna be slightly different but I'm just gonna have to get used to it I spose. Oh and he just wants to have sex with me, no one else. It's all quite exciting for me but I'll be carefull and I promise I'll try not to get too attached!