Please help

[Rainbow Phoenix]

Hi there

I Have a bit of a problem right now. My bloke is beating him self up for no reason. We had a bit of a do last night. When we first got together there was girl after him and he promised me that she knew about us. However he later confessed that he hadn't told as he was scared she might do someting silly as she was mentally unstable. Last night he said 'I never break a promise' and I said that he had broken a promise to me bavck then. Basicially he's beating himself up over it and saying that he feels really bad about himself. Last night during the fight he said that he is a lying selfish person who doesn't deserve to be called my boyfriend. I was really scared he was going to dump me. I dont trust the firl as after she found out about us she said they needed to talk about their relationship (that to me is in my book of don't you dont make a move on a taken person) so basically if I never see her it will be too soon. My boyfriend has now stopped contanting her.

It still hurts that he blatantly lied to me and worse still broke a promise. It hurts that he was after her before he was after me, it makes me feel second best. But I need to get rid of this hurt because we have a great relationshuip and so much fun together. I think I'm finding it hard because my ex sort of cheated on me (or at least m yself and many of my friends suspect he did but thats another story)

I also really want to stop him beating himself up he really is a great guy and hes going through a tough time right now

Any views?

Phoe

[*§atania*]

If I were you I'd stop complaining. It's obvious that he feels really bad and this whole thing happened at the beginning of your relationship, you can't base his actions then with what's happening now. Feelings grow stronger the longer you stay together, and people change 'cuz of it. What he did then wouldn't necessarily mean he'd do it now. You're lucky you have a guy that is worried about you and feels like shit for making you suffer. Don't throw all that away for something that happened in the past. It's just insecurities and trust me they can ruin a relationship. He's with you now not her, and he is NOT your ex.

Sorry if that sounded harsh , but at the moment my bf doesnt seem to care at all, so you're on the right lines, work together to sort it, show him you trust him.:)