Getting over him hurts.

[angel1886]

I have seen similar posts to this one I just feeling the need to talk. I can't seem to get over my ex regardless of whether believe he is a twat. I think about him far too much in the day. He still to me is perfect he made me sooo happy. Lost an lonely I just want someone to hold me ie him an tell me he loves me. Wish it was just a bad dream. I still think to myself may be one day he will come back an tell me what a mistake hes made. I doubt that though really.

[~*Angel69*~]

I'm sorry you feel so bad. I felt just like you when I split up with my ex. I know it sounds mad, but try and focus on the bad things, about him or the relationship, don't hold onto the idea that he was perfect or the one, because he wasn't. Keep yourself really busy with friends, work, college, whatever. Don't set yourself a time limit to get over him, take as long as you need. Even when your feelings for him have faded, you'll still miss having someone to hold you and say they love you, but just tell yourself (even if you don't believe it at first) that you will be OK on your own and that you will find someone else.

[angel1886]

Really hope it dosen't take too long to get over him. He got over me in a week an a half (had a new girlfriend). Im jealous of her.

[VinylVicky]

Why did u split and how long have u been split?

[Travel Agent]

So sorry to hear your so down, but just think, when your down you can only come up again. Im still trying to get over a bloke I met 4 years ago and I know what you mean when you say you think of him constantly...
I try to concentrate on "me" when I feel down like that. Perhaps you should give it a try. I think it helps. I pamper myself, have a shopping trip, spend hours in a huge bubble bath or watch my favorite film (nothing vaguly romantic!) with a chilled bottle of wine. Acctually I find horror films work a treat! I even bought a venus flytrap once and called it after my ex :lol:

Take some time out and remember time is the biggest healer of a broken heart!;)

all my best wishes!

[angel1886]

Originally posted by VinylVicky
Why did u split and how long have u been split?

Right well on the Sunday he told me he was thinking about being single cause he felt tied down an he had been talking to this girl who he had feelings for. So I go visit him that day to try and sort things out. We both have a cry and then ended up in bed an he slept with me (sept he didn't have a condom so didn't get the whole lot we stopped before he came!). I was thinking everythings ok now an I asked him an i'm sure an he was fine an seemed happy.
Then I didn't see him for four days. He called me on Thursday an dumped me cause he said he wanted to be single. An then I find out hes seeing the girl who happened to turn up in the conversation on Sunday. About a week an a half later.
Felt hurt.

[angel1886]

We split up a month an a week or two or something ago!

[*TiNK*]

aww hun! talk to me on msn if u need to :)

[Travel Agent]

Im sorry to say this but he sounds like a compleate rat!:eek:
Are you sure you want a bloke like that in your life...??
I know its difficult to forget someone when you care for them so deeply, but please try. I'm positive you could do much better than him!
:)

[angel1886]

Yeah I know that he may sound like a rat! Nice word rat. He was so nice to me before that though always made me so happy then he duffed up you could say.

[Travel Agent]

Hi:D
Yes "rat" is quite a nice word realy!
I had an encounter with one of these nasty rodents several years ago.:mad:
His name was Steve and I adored him. He want out with me while on a re-bound from a girfriend that had dumped him. We were happy for about 6 months, then suddenly one night he came round to my flat and finished with me...for no apprent reason :eek: ...I later found out he was seeing his ex again...
About a week later, he came to see me all appologetic and full of "Im so sorry" ect, then the enevitable happened and we ended up in bed. After that weekend I never saw him again...his phone was always off and he never replyed to any of my messages! What a total BA****D!:mad:
He used me for sex and I let him get away with it!!!!!!!!
I was so angry with myself I got Pi**ed on night and punched my bedroom wall, breaking my wrist and several knuckles in the process...I have to admit though I felt a whole lot better after.

So its best to be on your guard with these horrid rat's. Im sorry to say this but their brains are firmly stuffed in their Kalvin Kline boxer shorts :naughty: !!!!!!!!!

Hope you feel better soon!;)

[angel1886]

Im sorry to say this but their brains are firmly stuffed in their Kalvin Kline boxer shorts :naughty: !!!!!!!!!


Hehe thats brilliant should be a quote! I am sorry to hear about what that guy did to you what a jerk I hate users! Its not fair how can people act like that?

[Travel Agent]

Very True Angel!:D
Its a sad fact that most "users" are blokes!:rolleyes:
Thankfully I never saw him again...
A week later I met a simply smashing bloke. Kind, loving, thoughtful and amazingly hansome! :naughty: and we have been together eversince...so realy "Steve-the-rat" did me a massive favour:lol:

I'm sure your will find a lovely bloke soon, it usually happens when we least expect it...
:D :D :D

[ryoko_rock]

ugh, break ups suck. I'm still not over mine...been bout 3 months...

I'm thinking that it's oneof those things that I'll never really get over, just I'll learn to deal with it and push it to the back of my mind.

Still, it sounds harsh that he said he wanted to be single and is now with another girl!!

Hope you cheer up hun xxx

[angel1886]

Hi a yeah it was harsh we were apparently "like a married couple" one statement he came out with. I hear now that his new girl friend looks like Avril Lavigne an is ugly! Man im not dissapointed makes me chuffed. That may seem mean! Oh well.

[ryoko_rock]

Originally posted by angel1886
Hi a yeah it was harsh we were apparently "like a married couple" one statement he came out with. I hear now that his new girl friend looks like Avril Lavigne an is ugly! Man im not dissapointed makes me chuffed. That may seem mean! Oh well.

haha, no not at all. You've gotta be mean to help you get over it!! I'll bet she's a proper minger! :p

[angel1886]

Think I may have meet his new girlfriend. :(

[ryoko_rock]

Originally posted by angel1886
Think I may have meet his new girlfriend. :( ]\


oh dear. well if you do have to... i hope it goes ok. just start singing 'he was a sk8r boi, i said see ya later boi...' and maybe she'll get annoyed...??

[angel1886]

Hehe nah i don't know its definitly her. It was strange though I saw her an I was like hmm I'll check the receipt (cant spell sorry) an see the name. An it was the same name as her girlfriend. An he works in that shop so im thinking yeah could be her. Thing is I wasn't paying too much attension to what she looked like. Sept I don't think she was a minger! :( Wish she was. Makes me feel I wasn't good enough an was updated for a better version.

[ryoko_rock]

Arg I know it probably feels like that... but i bet it isnt!! And hopefully soon you'll find a really decent bloke, and then you'll be able to turn around and say 'ha, up yours' :p

[angel1886]

Yeah that would be nice to have a good bloke. Not gonna happen though at any speed. I rejected one guy. I don't know if I was attracted to him? Or I was just to picky?
A guy you like I think should seem perfect in your eyes. Don't think it was like that.

[dr_smith]

I know exactly what you are going through... but I'm not going to bore you with all of that!

I read your story with an open mouth. Let me get this straight. He told you he was thinking of breaking up because he was feeling "tied down" AND liked someone else.

I think he missed the logic train as that is a total contradiction.

Then, knowing that he is going to break up with you he has UNSAFE sex with you? Then he doesn't even have the decency to dump you face to face?

Forget "rat", this guy is a TWAT and a discrace to the male race.

As a representitive of his species, let me do my very best to redress this HORRIBLE treatment by telling you what he didn't have the decency to. Now, I don't know you or the situation so I am only inferring here, but my guess is that this relationship was less than a month long? If so he probably dumped you because the 'blush wore off the rose', and although he still found you physically attractive, there just wasn't enough in the relationship to keep him there. It isn't your fault, and there is nothing you could have done. Just because this one went tits up, doesn't mean that you are doomed to a life of lonelyness.

The best advice I can give you is to get as far away from him as possible and surround yourself with friends and family who will undoubtably do everything they can to try to make you realise that you *are* wonderful :)

Just a word of warning, the dumper usually gets over it much quicker than the dumpee (because it was their decision) and then won't give a shit if their behaviour hurts you or not. It's (usually) not malicious at all, he just won't notice if he crushes you into the ground like a bug. Stick out of his way for a while!

~Dr Smith

P.S. Now that you are single, any chance of dinner on saturday night? ;)

P.P.S.
Its a sad fact that most "users" are blokes
Come meet my ex-girlfriend some time :eek: that'll make you take that statement back ten times over!

[angel1886]

Hey thanks for the reply Dr (sorry can't remember the next bit dr_smith?). It was actually longer than a month meet him end of August was going out by beginning of October an were together for about 5 months after that. Then all of a sudden I was dumped.

[dr_smith]

OWCH! The dump, get back together, dump routine, like being skipped off the surface of a giant brown ocean of sh*t before crashing headlong into it.

Seriously angel, this is one case of someone who has jerked you around so badly that he is not worthy of your affection. Of course, it's easy to say, but a lot harder to emotionally disconnect.

I've said this before, but there seem to be five distinct stages to a breakup. Every breakup is as varied as each relationship, but you'll tend to find these five elements in pretty much every one at some point or another:

1.) "Why me"
2.) Moping

Don't worry, this will soon be replaced by

3.) ANGER!!!!!
4.) Resignation ("I guess it's just not meant to be" )

and finally

5.) Acceptance ("Why was I so worked up about this guy?")

This guy is NOT WORTH the pain you are feeling.

Again, my advice is to be strong, surround yourself with friends and eat lots of chocolate. Just keep reminding yourself how smart, attractive and fun to be with you are ;)

Good luck!

~Dr Smith

[angel1886]

Cheers for the reply again. Yeah I find it hard cause he was soo good to me through the relationship just ended badly. Through it he was always a complete darling to me an was so romantic wit candles lots an cooking for me on valentines day. :( . Things like that he was so calm an just made me feel so good about myself but yeah that changed.

[BeckyBoo]

Originally posted by Travel Agent
Im sorry to say this but he sounds like a compleate rat!:eek:


Sorry I dont agree, he would be a rat if he two timed her. Breaking up is never good but he did the best thing and finished it before he started seeing someone else.

angel you have probs heard this a million times but im gonna say it anyway You will met someone else and wonder what the hell you saw in him in the first place. Time is a great healer, just give it some time, go out and have fun and when you are least expecting it you will meet someone else.......honest :)

[ryoko_rock]

Originally posted by dr_smith
1.) "Why me"
2.) Moping
3.) ANGER!!!!!
4.) Resignation ("I guess it's just not meant to be" )
5.) Acceptance ("Why was I so worked up about this guy?")


hmm well i went through all of those things, and now i've gone back to number 1...that can't be good, i'm going round and round in a vicious circle :(


angel1886, i hope u feel a bit better, PM me if you need to hun xx

[dr_smith]

hmm well i went through all of those things, and now i've gone back to number 1.

Sucks, doesn't it?

It's only a guideline, I mean there isn't a moment when you wake up and say "ooop, I'm done with moping, today i will be ANGRY." It's just a general trend through time. Personally I found that once disbelief wore off (after about a month), there was no doubt in my mind as to what was happening (hence the moping!)

Getting over a breakup is a lot like watching a glacier. You can't really see progress on a day to day level, but come back month to month you'll be amazed at the difference.

[ClaireBear]

Hiya,
Firstly *hugs*. Break-ups are so difficult to deal with. But there is help at hand.

Have a look at this (http://www.thesite.org/youthnet/jsp/polopoly.jsp?d=423&a=2601), it may have some useful advice for you, and this Q&A (http://www.thesite.org/youthnet/jsp/polopoly.jsp?d=415&a=2306) may also be of help.

More hugs, and hope this helps,
CB

[angel1886]

Hi he broke up wit the girl. I was like in a strange mood after that I thought may be ive a chance but I know deep down I don't. Now I hurt inside cause Im realising this again after yesterday. I moan too much an should stop wit the self pitty.

[natos]

girl, don't give him another chance! keep smiling, u'll soon realise ur too good for him!!!

[angel1886]

Yeah thats what one of my mates said. Very very much doubt that would happen considering he won't even see me basically on one to one that would be too awkward.

[natos]

it's for the best, u need to not see him in order to move on. don't make the same mistake i did and keep going back if he wants u... causes more hurt than happiness. sayin that, i'm happy and back with him now, but its ll gonna end in tears!

[ryoko_rock]

well its good that he broke up with her in a way, cos at least it leaves u feeling better (so what if thats selfish, u need to try and make light of the situation).

as for getting back with him...i agree with everyone else, don't go there. you'd be much better off carrying on and keeping your mind off stuff, and concentrating on finding bigger and better things! (and bigger and better men too!). if u saw him again... u'd get all confused and it wouldn't help (thats what i did...grrr...)

[angel1886]

Hia yeah we won't be getting back togther he no like me in that way in way. He apologised to me for hurting me (or something along those lines.) That was pretty nice. Ah well I'll keep waiting for someone else!

[*DEVIL*]

Hi angel

I know that nothing anyone can say will help you feel any better, it does hurt, but trust me within time you will get over him and wonder why you ever loved him!

I was with a guy for 18 months, one day he told me he wa bored of me, and dumped me said he wanted space and did not want to be with me anymore, i cried for about a month, the day afte i met someone else who i went out with for 5 months, i was never really into him as i was this otehr guy, we were both on teh rebound afte we split i still missed my first love, this went on until 9 months after we split (may 03) i started to get over him, still thinking of him, if i ever saw him out my legs would tingle, i would feel butterflies. I still loved him, then as my mum had said ater the split, in sept when you join uni, you will meet a lovely bloke who will treat you better and be into the same things as you.

Two days after starting uni i met my boyfriend, he was lovely, truly the best person i have ever met! He is lovely always ding nice things for me! he bought me a MASSIVE care bear the other day, he says lovely things and really cares. We have been together just over 7 months! I love him to bits! but this time last year i thought i could never be happy again, i felt like the my love hated me and i felt very upset.

Things can improve, but give it time, and do not think a rebound is the answer its not! Take time to get over it, and to feel happy alone first! Good luck and i am here if you want to chat! lufc_rulz@hotmail.com xxx

[angel1886]

Thanks for all your replys. I really appreciate it. I thought that I was feeling better. Now it hurts again. It hurts inside my stomach too..:( I seriously need to get a grip.

[dr_smith]

Sounds like your ex is like mine... a turd swirling around in the toilet bowl of our minds. Every time you think they are gone for good, they float back up to the surface :mad:

[Britney]

Originally posted by dr_smith
Sounds like your ex is like mine... a turd swirling around in the toilet bowl of our minds. Every time you think they are gone for good, they float back up to the surface :mad:


haha, i like that - must remember that! :D