...is he gay??

[Travel Agent]

I fell for this amazing bloke a few years ago now (we are still in touch...just!) and on our first night I was in heaven...we kissed (but not snogging) cuddled and held hands...then he over a period of a week he went weird on me. After a night at a club we went out side and he burst into tears and started to bash his head against the wall, screeming.
"I can't have sex with anyone!!! Im a member of a religous cult!"
well alarm bells started to ring as up untill this point, sex haden't even been mentioned! :eek:
Then I asked him if he was gay, because he enjoyed acting camp. He said no...
I later found out he is acctually a member of a church "cell group" which is hardly a cult, so Im thinking he perhaps is gay after all.
Also he is so camp he would make Graham Norton look butch!!:eek:
So I was just wondering, has anyone else had an expierence like this or are there any blokes out there who know they are gay but are still in the closet and maybe have a "girlfriend".

"Cheers!";)

[piccolo]

Firstly, being "camp" doesn't necessarily mean that's he's gay.

However, if he's a fairly committed Christian then perhaps he doesn't believe in sex before marriage and sees being gay as wrong, and (if he's gay) something he needs to try to change about himself. He's probably reluctant to come out if that's the case and would prefer to have relationships with women although that might seem odd to most people.

[Travel Agent]

Many thanks for the replys, stressedstar and piccolo!:D
Piccolo, I think perhaps maybe your right, and Ive thought along these lines many a time...If he is gay he will want to hide it, being a Christian, so thats where I came in handy!:confused:
The thing is I care for him a lot, though I find I have to hide it as this only makes him nervous, when I show any feeling that is. To be honest I woulden't give a hoot if he did come out of the closet, I have several gay friends and they are lovely mates.
About 2 years ago the bloke in question whent through a phase of texting me 10+ times a day and these included several 3 hour long phone calls (we both do the same job, so we have lots to chat about...:rolleyes: ) and we had several dates, one even ended in a "real" kiss. Then I diden't hear from him for ages and now he has started to email me again, yesterday infact...although I haven't opened it yet...I have a lot to loose...Including my sanity!!!!!!!:eek:

:D

[lipsy]

i know a girl who is a memeber of cell and she doesn't believe in sex before marriage so maybe he doesn't.

[Travel Agent]

You maybe right!
Although he has never said he dose not belive in sex before marriage. In fact some of his texts, when he was going through that phase, were very shall I say "sexy" which only left me even more confused:confused: !
I know he was only teasing me anyway. I just don't want to get into the same situation as before waiting for the phone, beep, fax, email, etc. (he used to send me a fax at work every morning, writing in the style of a Shakespearian sonett!!:eek: )
eerrm...time will tell I suppose.
Thanks for the reply:D

[Godders]

Originally posted by Travel Agent
You maybe right!
Although he has never said he dose not belive in sex before marriage. In fact some of his texts, when he was going through that phase, were very shall I say "sexy" which only left me even more confused:confused: !
I know he was only teasing me anyway. I just don't want to get into the same situation as before waiting for the phone, beep, fax, email, etc. (he used to send me a fax at work every morning, writing in the style of a Shakespearian sonett!!:eek: )
eerrm...time will tell I suppose.
Thanks for the reply:D

Maybe he doesnt want to have sex before marriage. But that doesnt stop him getting abit randy once in a while. Especially if he finds you attractive. I think u should marry him. Then find out.:p

[Travel Agent]

Oh you have hit the nail right on the head there!
I gave him two years to ask me but he never did...I would have been at that alter faster than Concorde! I adored him! Anyway I ended up marrying someone else last year...his reaction when I told him???...well it was so cool it was almost business like: he wrote, and I quote: may I offer you belated cngratulations in this affair...:( ...it was an email.
Oh yes I would have given up a lottery win to marry him, but he made me feel I was wasting my time...I have to admit I still adore him:o but have to hid it now, although I still get that funny feeling whenever he gets in touch...:(

Thanks for the wonderful advice, I just wish it wasent too late!

[Godders]

Originally posted by Travel Agent
Oh you have hit the nail right on the head there!
I gave him two years to ask me but he never did...I would have been at that alter faster than Concorde! I adored him! Anyway I ended up marrying someone else last year...his reaction when I told him???...well it was so cool it was almost business like: he wrote, and I quote: may I offer you belated cngratulations in this affair...:( ...it was an email.
Oh yes I would have given up a lottery win to marry him, but he made me feel I was wasting my time...I have to admit I still adore him:o but have to hid it now, although I still get that funny feeling whenever he gets in touch...:(

Thanks for the wonderful advice, I just wish it wasent too late!

ummm......i feel abit worried for you're marriage if this is the case. Why did you get married in the 1st place?:eek2:

[Travel Agent]

Please don't get me wrong, I love the man I married and he can offer me things my other friend couldent.
I knew I was onto a looser with him, and it was going no-where. I wanted, loving stability in my life! Not some poor chap with more hang-ups than a wardrobe, no matter how I feel about him...so thats why I married the other chap...and belive it or not I DO love him!:D
As for my friend, well I do adore him, I can't help it...he's just a little bit too odd...I respect his faith, but I realy do think he is confused about his sexuality too. He won't talk about it so I find it impossible to help him. He just clamms up on me and goes very cold.
I still haven't opened the latest email, I have a sneaky feeling it won't be a nice one as I have asked him to join "messenger" and he hasen't done so...
Oh I must get my head out of the clouds! :rolleyes:

[Travel Agent]

Sorry but I forgot to mention he has also tried to commit suicide twice:(
The second time he almost succeded. He ran his bike into a truck and ended up in intensive care. This was just over 2 years ago.
I try to forget the attempts happened as he won't talk about them, or why he wanted to kill himself. I only found out from a mutual friend the first time and from his mum the second:(