Confessing little things

[Ladon J]

As you may guess if you've read my other recent thread, I've just had a nightmare talk with my girlfriend about our relationship. Well, she was the one talking, I just stood there like a lemon.

But she confessed kissing another guy, who I happen to know. And she said what I guess are the usual things of, I don't know why I did it, It'll never happen again, I'm really sorry.

I know you don't know the circumstances, so I can't ask you to comment on. But any general advice on carrying on after this?

[perfect***day]

Originally posted by stressedstar
well if she's cheated on you she isn't worth another chance, no matter how drunk/stupid/annoyed etc she was. theres plenty more chicks out there who wouldn't dream of cheatin.

if you stay wit her, how can you trust her again?
I think that's a bit harsh - forgiveness exists for a reason. Maybe she really does regret it and will never do it again. Also, there may be plenty more chicks out there, but they might not be right for Ladon J - this is the one he cares about, remember, and you don't choose the people you care about.

However I definitely second that question, how could you trust her again? It's more difficult than you might think. A close friend of mine was very much in love with her boyfriend - but he cheated on her for almsot a month while she was away at uni, carrying on with another girl, and lied about it for a while. She loved him so she would have tried to carry on, and she was distraught, but she had to end it - she knew she couldn't trust him any more and it would be v unhealthy to carry on with it. Cheating really can ruin a relationship, even though some people try to take it lightly.

But then since you say 'confessing little things,' maybe it's not so important to you...

[lil_minx]

Originally posted by stressedstar
well if she's cheated on you she isn't worth another chance,

i disagree that rule cant apply to everyone, i cheated on my fella, but now i am SO SO SO deeply in love, couldnt ever imagine being with anybody else if angelina jolie came up to me and offered herself to me id turn her down (and i ahve a major obseesion with AJ)... it took that little something to show me how much i love him. Things can work after somebody strays.

[pussy_palace]

Originally posted by lil_minx
if angelina jolie came up to me and offered herself to me id turn her down (

madness! :p

[Ladon J]

How can I trust her again?

I guess I don't really know if I can. Except the fact that she confessed what happened. She could have just as easily never mentioned it and carried on as normal or whatever.

I know I love her and I believe she loves me, and at the moment, that's all that really matters to me.

But it will always be in the back of my mind when I'm with her, and I have no idea how I'll react when I see him again.

[toiletroll]

Originally posted by Ladon J
Except the fact that she confessed what happened. She could have just as easily never mentioned it and carried on as normal or whatever.


I know this is a bit generalised or whatever but I reckon too many people admit to these things purely because they think if they've been honest about it they're in the clear (anyone else seen that episode of That 70s Show where Kelso keeps doing this to Jackie? :p)

Anyway if it's always going to be a niggling thought for you then maybe you should try being away from her for a while. If she really has changed and it's 'meant to be' then you'll get back together again sometime. Either that or you could find someone else that you never really thought would happen.

If it were me I'd almost certainly dump her. If she's not willing to take me seriously enough not to kiss someone else then she's not worth keeping.

[byny]

Originally posted by Ladon J
As you may guess if you've read my other recent thread, I've just had a nightmare talk with my girlfriend about our relationship. Well, she was the one talking, I just stood there like a lemon.

But she confessed kissing another guy, who I happen to know. And she said what I guess are the usual things of, I don't know why I did it, It'll never happen again, I'm really sorry.

I know you don't know the circumstances, so I can't ask you to comment on. But any general advice on carrying on after this?

A FRIEND OF MINE SHAGGED A BLOKE IN A PARK AND CONFESSED TO HER BOYFRIEND THE NEXT DAY. tHEY ARE STILL TOGETHER, THOUGH IT CAUSED MAJOR PROBLEMS.

I snogged a bloke and stayed at his house all night but didn't tell my boyfriend, adn never will.

It's a judgement call and your girlfriend obviously thought it was better to confess. If it's only happened once try to move on and accept that she was actually being quite mature by telling you.

If it happens again though....dump her