Making friends

[Monserrat]

[ mods, feel free to move this to a different forum if inapproprate ]

Meeting people? I feel as though I'm really bad at doing this at present. I've always relied on house-shares or student halls as a first point of call for making friends. I graduated last year, moved back to my university town (Stafford) and managed to get a job, finally! I was living in a student house with some of my previous year mates and had a wicked time.

Now that the academic year is over, I have moved out into a normal house-share. Three other blokes share the house. Two of them are in their mid-40s and the other one is late 20s. I've lived here for five weeks now and haven't got very far with them. One goes home every weekend, and the other two work night shifts. Although I studied and lived in Stafford for several years, it seems like a completely new town, now that I don't know anyone there anymore.

Does any of The Site people know of social clubs? I know a lot of them involves sports i.e. a local football or rugby club but I'm very visually impaired and not allowed to play contact sports. I am willing to travel out as far as Wolverhampton, Stoke-on-Trent, maybe even Birmingham, or going the other way, Stockport. I've checked out the RNID's web site (I'm deaf too) without much information about social events. Also the RNIB's web site used to have a bulletin board but that's gone now.

I don't want to go as far as dating agencies, but perhaps something similar where you meet friends instead of dates if it exists.

Any help much appreciated.

[BumbleBee]

:chin:

This could be a tricky one. Perhaps you could start closer to home, and try to get along a bit better with the people you live with? Maybe suggesting a few things you could do together, or having a "lads night in" one weekend?



http://www.royaldeaf.org.uk/ukclubs2.htm#32

http://www.nalsvi.charityskills.net/

Hope this helps. :)

[Monserrat]

Thanks BumbleBee,

I'm checking your Royal Deaf one, and saw the Tamworth Deaf Club at the top. A train from Stafford to Tamworth is 30 minutes, so that is a good bet. I don't know the town, but I can put my old geography to practise. Just need to get those colouring crayons out!

Looking down that list, I'll phone some of those numbers. Again, thanks. Checking the second link now.

Re: Flatmates - I had a conversation with one of them on Monday. He brings in this ghetto blaster in a shopping bag. I said to him "Nice ghetto blaster. Where did you get that from?" He said "I found it outside McDonalds". I said "erm.. okay!" A bit suspect.

[Susie]

Hi there!

BumbleBee has already given you some good ideas, but we also have some useful articles on TheSite about making friends:

TheSite article on making friends (http://www.thesite.org/magazine/specials_mates/making_friends/making_new_friends.html)

TheSite special issue on mates (http://www.thesite.org/magazine/specials_mates/)

You could consider volunteering, our sister site, Do-it.org.uk (http://www.do-it.org.uk) has a searchable database that allows you to look for opportunities by postcode so you could meet people in your area and do something worthwhile at the same time.

You could also consider signing up for an evening class, contact the education department of your local council for info on courses in your area, there really are a zillion different things you could do, they are often fairly cheap and you can meet people who share your interests.

Stick with it and you'll have made some great mates before you know it.

Take care

Susie :)

[BumbleBee]

Originally posted by Susie
Do-it.org.uk (http://www.do-it.org.uk)


Just want to say that this is a great idea! I met some really nice people through volunteering! :)

[Monserrat]

Again, many more thanks to Susie and BB (+and also for moving the thread : should have thought of that one!)... Volunteering and evening classes sounds like the best bets as I'll be able to stay local.

My sister has taken up photography classes and its something like 12 classes, £5 each. You buy yourself an SLR (single lense reflex) camera and you even get an NUS card made for you again. Stafford has a population of 100,000 with a university campus and a college. Should be able to find some courses here.

Also, it took me 8 months to get a job (6 months on the dole) and finally managed to get a job through volunteering.

[BlackArab]

Local church, football or other sports club as a supporter, local websites (don't know about Stafford but our local paper has messageboards). How about through work I've met most of my best friends through working together. You've got the right attitude it shouldn't be difficult :)

[littl lambs mum]

i find it really hard to make friends, my only friend is my family and my boyfriend. i used to speak to girls at skool but always got on better with boys (always been a tomboy). am going to uni in sept and am going to find it real hard spesh if me and my BF finish(looks like its going to happen)i will have to go to the halls most to my disgust, i will feel so lonely i find it hard to keep friends more than make them, i say the wrong things and end up arguing with them, cant stand bitchy grls and in this world theres loads.
sorry i cant help out with trying to find any clups for you, but perhaps going to a pub would help. i know it would look silly sitting there alone but after a while everyone gets chatting and becomes friendly unless its a pub with a*seholes. you need a good good friend you can sit down and tell all your problems to these types are better than a whole group of people.
trust me there more loyal
dont try too hard good friends will take time if you try too hard it will only be friends you make for short time.
good luck am sure youd make an ace friend and your magic to be around