big decision time

[KoolCat]

i've been seeing my boyfriend for over 5 years now. we met at school and went to college together but then we both went to different unis. it's been quite hard only seeing each other during the holidays and the odd weekend, but somehow we've made it through and right now I'd say our relationship is the strongest it's ever been.

trouble is we both go into final year next year and I'm worried about what's going to happen when we both graduate. We're both very ambitious people and we've both got big goals we want to try and achieve career-wise. I want to study in Poland for a year and then try and join the civil service as a European faststreamer.

He, on the other hand, has spoken about going to live in America for a good few years after graduating because there are more job opportunities for him there. There's no way I want to live in America. My heart's in Europe and there's not much call for French and Russian knowledge in the USA!

Whenever we've talked about this, he has always said that whatever we do, we'll be able to see each other, even if it's only weekends at first. Thing is, I don't know if I could cope with that. When we moved away to uni, I knew that it was only a temporary thing and that after 4 years it would be over. But this time it's different, it's indefinite.

Has anyone been in a similar situation, and if so what did you do?

[RobS]

Nope, your fucked.
Finish it, go and enjoy yourself, youve been tied down for 4 years at uni, thats bad enough,
go your seperate ways and meet new people
your only young once

[Miffy]

If you go in such different directions I think things will almost inevitably fizzle out anyway.

[Meryn]

I think the best thing to do here is play it by ear...although as someone who's been in a long distance relationship for two years and has also spent a year abroad this year, I know EXACTLY what you mean about coping by thinking how the separation is only going to be temporary.

But just think, you've both got a year to go before you graduate, so lots of time for other things to happen, and maybe your boyfriend will change his mind about going to the US. Also, things won't necessarily be as straight forward as you imagine - I know for you, getting into the Polish uni should be fairly easy, but your bloke might find getting work in America more difficult and abandon his plans. The future's so hazy at this stage, you might as well carry on as you're doing and see what happens.

Good luck :)

[BumbleBee]

Originally posted by RobS
Nope, your fucked.
Finish it, go and enjoy yourself, youve been tied down for 4 years at uni, thats bad enough,
go your seperate ways and meet new people
your only young once
You can be young and in a relationship. :rolleyes:

It seems to me that you both want different things from life. Wait and see where your ambitions take you. :)

[Faith]

Originally posted by KoolCat
Has anyone been in a similar situation, and if so what did you do?

I was with my ex for 2 and a bit years at uni. When we graduated we both had to move back home cos we were so broke - me down to Bournemouth and him up in Bucks. We carried on for another year or so, but it wasn't the same and I wasn't happy at all only seeing him for a few days each month, esp. after seeing him every day for 2 years! If you want to carry on then give it a go, but it wont be easy :no:

[KoolCat]

thanks everyone for the replies. i know it's not something we have to think about right now. but i'm feeling the happiest I have done for years, and I'm scared that it's all going to come crashing down on me when I have to choose between a relationship and a career.