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View Full Version : Help... in a pickle....


Slayer_Pantera
20-05-2003, 06:10 PM
Ok, long story for you all...

About 13 months ago I met this guy through my friend. We met up, and got on really well, blah blah. We started seeing eachother 1-3 times a week... (he lived a few towns away from me, about 30 mins by train) and we got on really well and that. At the time I was going through a bit of a fucked up time, and he was really saving me from myself at the time. After about 4 months or so I found out he'd been cheating on me with some other girl... and had met up with another girl off the internet and had lost his virginity to her the first time they met. Of course he denied it all, but later in an arguement admitted he had done it.

We didn't speak to eachother for a while after that. Then about 3 months or so later I started to talk to him again, but within a few days we were fighting again. He asked me to sleep with him and I said no, and he said he'd rape me instead. He was also saying things like the only reason I hurt so bad is because I ask for it, and do it to myself, and its all my own fault. We didn't talk again for quite a while until now.

Me and my friend, who has also been a victim of his stupid ways have decided to make him pay for how he's hurt us. What he did to me changed me in a twisted way so that I don't trust anyone anymore. I'm always suspicious of guys and convince myself they're going to cheat on me. The fact is that they usually do :rolleyes: . We'll me and my friend decided to get a tough male friend to beat him up, and teach him a lesson. The only way to get that to happen though, is to convince him to come to where I live, at the train station, where I wouldn't turn up, and the guy would just beat him up for us. Cruel, I know, but he deserves it. Anyway the only way we could think of to get him to come here is if I lead him on, making him think I'd have sex with him.

So last night I started to talk to him again... and after talking to him again, I don't think I'm even over him yet... and I don't think I can bring myself to make him pay for how much he's hurt me. He's been talking about wanting to date me again, but I don't know if it's worth it... I really want to make him pay but I can't bring myself to be doing this to him. I've tried to forget but I just can't. And I can't move on because of what he did to me... and I thought maybe getting back at him would make it all better but the process of getting to get my own back is just too uncomfortable and 'painful'... after what he did to me, I don't see how I can't tell a few simple lies to him and get him to come to a train station. Arggh!! I don't know what to do :crying:

VinylVicky
20-05-2003, 06:58 PM
what? Your gona set him up and get him beat up? Morals aside, hes gona blatantly know its you and all 3 of you will be arrested!!
I only agree with violence if you get hit first. Violence is not the answer, his scars will heal after a while. Stop it str8 away if you dont want a criminal record and cut him out of your life totally, this will hurt him more.

Slayer_Pantera
20-05-2003, 07:29 PM
Originally posted by VinylVicky
what? Your gona set him up and get him beat up? Morals aside, hes gona blatantly know its you and all 3 of you will be arrested!!
I only agree with violence if you get hit first. Violence is not the answer, his scars will heal after a while. Stop it str8 away if you dont want a criminal record and cut him out of your life totally, this will hurt him more.

He did hit me first, just not physically. He hit me harder than any punch ever could... and it has a lasting effect.

I've tried cutting him out but it just doesn't work. He just goes off and fucks other girls.. and it probably hurts me more than him.

I can't explain it, it's like I want to hurt him but I can't hurt him as much as he hurt me. .. But i somehow think i still like him :crying: why am I so confusing.

sillystring
20-05-2003, 09:34 PM
aww u poor thing...you sound as if you feel like you're in a right mess that doesnt want to get solved. you know relationships do that...they mess up and you feel real bad bout them. i suggest you don't touch this guy with a bargepole!! if you feel so messed up then it's only gonna cause even more angst. even if you do like him i would advise you to try not to think about him in the relationship and going out kind of way. try to get your head round to looking out for other fit blokes that are going to treat you much better...it is after all what you deserve from life. dont let this guy control your life...it's yours not his remember and if he's taking a hold of your mind and making you think there's no other way of doing things take a reality check...im sure you have tons of mates that'll support you and be there. this is only my advice though so do what your gut feeling is. if you're even slightly unsure don't go there.
*hugs* cause you sound like you need it :-)
The Silly String

Miffy
20-05-2003, 10:01 PM
Slayer, I`m going to be brutally honest here cause I don`t know what else to do. The guy is a scumbag. He`s used and abused you, and said things to you that noone should say to anyone. You shouldn`t be thinking about going back out with him, you should cut him out of your life and stay as far away from him as possible!

You should forget trying to get revenge. These things rarely work out the way you think they will. You might feel better for a very short time but after that I think you will feel very empty. And worse if you get into trouble.

Hope I haven`t offended you, but he does NOT sound like good news.

byny
20-05-2003, 11:21 PM
JESUS H CHRIST - people like this bloke thrive from the attention you give them. FORGET having him beaten up...JUST CUT HIM OUT. So he has hurt you - MOVE ON!!! He is hurting you more by being in your life. WHO IS THE PERSON THAT HAS CONTROL? YES ...its YOU.

Start taking control by CUTTING HIM OUT. Just stop all contact NOW!

Its that simple,.... he threatened rape, he lied, he slept with other people...you KNOW what to do, you must do????????

You say that you are effected more by his behaviour since.. well then, just blank him. And I don't mean obviously..I don't mean walking up to him and telling him you are blanking him, I mean just cease all contact. How on earth can you still 'like him' after all the stuff he has done.

Carolina
22-05-2003, 12:55 PM
Let's look at the after effects here.

1. He gets so badly beaten up he ends up in hospital
2. Your friend who does it faces a hefty police order
3. You get to live with the guilt
4. It will not make you happy all of a sudden. You will still be upset and you will still hurt.

He treated you very badly and like everyone else has already said you need to realise that he has no right to do that and is a pretty pathetic excuse of a man by the sounds of it. The only way you will ever be happy is if you tell him to fuck off :)