big deal?

[eefs]

i really hope this hasn't been posted before but i did a search as far back as i was able for. :)

is losing your virginity more of a deal to girls than it is to guys?

i was talking with my boyfriend the other night and he asked me about my first time. i told him and added that it wasn't the most ideal situation to lose my virginity in. nothing bad happened at all but i probably should have waited.

he lost his to a long time girlfriend. me, being the romantic that i am, commmented that it must have been the proper way to lose it. he said that, honestly, all that was going through his head was "woo! i'm getting laid!". not the fact that it was an important moment in his life or whatever.

so.....if any of this makes sense, lads - was losing your virginity a really big deal or just something that was going to happen eventually when and wherever it happened.

fank you!! :thumb:

[Lacy]

Yeah. Whenever i chat to my lad mates they always brag bout it and when i ask if it meant anything etc they just laugh and say all they cared about was the actual sex.

Maybe its true that its more of a big deal for girls or maybe lads just are better at hiding feelings.

[Meryn]

Dunno. It depends what you mean by 'big deal'. I was never one of these people desperate to lose my virginity (I was 19 when I first had sex), neither did I make a big song and dance about it when it happened - it was just an extension of the other things me and my boyfriend had been doing for months...and just felt completely right. Nothing more, nothing less

Though in retrospect I'm glad it happened when it did and that I was in a long term relationship and we completely trusted each other and knew one another's bodies. I don't think it would have been half so good if we'd done it 2 weeks in, when we didn't really know each other

[eefs]

well by 'big deal' i mean you wanted it to be special and you thought about it before it happened. well, maybe not that but....i think what lacy said kinda sums it up for me. bit :confused: myself.

[EssEmm]

It being special wasn't a big deal for me at all.

To be honest, I don't even remember my first time. It was with a long term gf, and the reason I don't remember it exactly is because we were doing it all the time.

It's really different for guys and girls. I'm single, it's just sex... As long as it's fun then I'm happy.

[CHEEKy]

Sex.Sex is perceived in different ways.There are girls out there who see sex as just sex.Some see it as a big thing.Lads are the same really.But yes there is a significant majority in the sexes that has always been obvious.What I personally think is that girls are too paranoid about how people see them which is why they are not as comfortable as lads when the topic of sex is brought up socially.So girls sort of feel like sex needs to have a meaning to justify what they are doing.At the end of the day sex is just sex and when you do find an emotional connection that is great but sex soesn't just have to depend on emotional issues.Sex itself is good anyway and I don't think it has be special.If you enjoy and want it then go for it.I think thats just the main issues with girls.And its not like lads don't get the emotional side its just they like to enjoy their body senses rather than thinking into all the deep stuff.I know lads do have a very strong emotional side to them.From my experience and what I hear lads are the ones who fall easier and find it hard to pick themselves back up again.Another social thing that just shows what girls are like.Girls are alot more polite yet 2faced.Thats why you could trust a lads opinion alot more cos with most of them its what you see is what you get.How does this relate.well its like girls have to put a front on all the time and have to do the 'right' thing and its stupid.Don't get me wrong.I'm not putting emotional issues down I just think its all personal opinion and with girls the major issue really isthat girls have too many ideals.Sex is made up to much of a hype.Just let it happen if it feels right.Everyone's different.

[perfect***day]

My boyfriend and I were both virgins before we slept together and I think we saw it the same way - like Meryn said, it was just like an extension of the sexual things we'd already done, and while it was great (and still is ;)) it wasn't a milestone in my life.

Maybe my boyfriend's unusual in that respect but I think he thought losing his virginity was less of a hurry, more of something he wanted to get right and enjoy - we talked about it a little first, whether we were ready etc... and I think most guys would just be like, 'hey let's go for it I can't wait to get laid!' like your boyfriend eefs.

Well, the world would be a sad place if we were all the same :)

[EssEmm]

Originally posted by CHEEKy
Sex.Sex is perceived in different ways.There are girls out there who see sex as just sex.Some see it as a big thing.Lads are the same really.But yes there is a significant majority in the sexes that has always been obvious.What I personally think is that girls are too paranoid about how people see them which is why they are not as comfortable as lads when the topic of sex is brought up socially.So girls sort of feel like sex needs to have a meaning to justify what they are doing.At the end of the day sex is just sex and when you do find an emotional connection that is great but sex soesn't just have to depend on emotional issues.Sex itself is good anyway and I don't think it has be special.If you enjoy and want it then go for it.I think thats just the main issues with girls.And its not like lads don't get the emotional side its just they like to enjoy their body senses rather than thinking into all the deep stuff.I know lads do have a very strong emotional side to them.From my experience and what I hear lads are the ones who fall easier and find it hard to pick themselves back up again.Another social thing that just shows what girls are like.Girls are alot more polite yet 2faced.Thats why you could trust a lads opinion alot more cos with most of them its what you see is what you get.How does this relate.well its like girls have to put a front on all the time and have to do the 'right' thing and its stupid.Don't get me wrong.I'm not putting emotional issues down I just think its all personal opinion and with girls the major issue really isthat girls have too many ideals.Sex is made up to much of a hype.Just let it happen if it feels right.Everyone's different.

My God..... Paragraphs! PARAGRAPHS!!!!!

[Harmless]

Originally posted by EssEmm
My God..... Paragraphs! PARAGRAPHS!!!!! Where WHERE?!?

I couldn't see any

[Diddles]

i felt like it took an age compared to all my friends who were jumping into bed with each other but i have no regrets, i still care about the person i lost it to and thats all that matters to me.

[eefs]

Originally posted by Harmless
Where WHERE?!?

I couldn't see any

i think that's why he said that, maybe. i can't read the man's mind.

[badabing]

i have a mate who turned twenty in december (i think!) - well its my boyfriend's mate.

He was so desperate to lose his virginity because he thought he was too old to still be a virgin. he just went and did it and it didnt matter to him. i couldnt have done that - not just for the hell of it.

[badabing]

Originally posted by eefs
i think that's why he said that, maybe. i can't read the man's mind.

:lol:

somehow i think harmless may have been being sarcastic. he's like that.

[eefs]

oh right. *looks around* i knew that.....

it's late, i'm sick and shouldn't be on the computer!:crazyeyes

[badabing]

Originally posted by eefs
oh right. *looks around* i knew that.....

it's late, i'm sick and shouldn't be on the computer!:crazyeyes

:lol:
dont worry about it mate! im just being a bitch and pointing things out to people tonight, shouldnt worry bout me at all :D

[jacaranda]

I believe it is a bigger deal for the women than the men, but what would I know seeing as I'm still in tact.

[kevlar85]

I reckon its down to different attitudes. A girl who says she's waiting for that special someone will most likely be thought of as romantic and sweet. If a guy said the same thing most people would assume there's something wrong with him because it goes against the whole "spreading your seed" mentality. That's probably why you get more guys lying about being virgins because it's less macho and cool. I also reckon it is a bigger deal to most guys than they would admit, they just wouldn't want to be seen as soft.