Long Distance : your views

[Hippy Chick]

there's been a few posts recently about lond distance relationship and im currently in one myself. there tough to keep up with and can be very frustrating so im asking you all what you'd do if

while away working on business, or just on holiday you meet an amazing guy. he's everything you could ask for and treats you like a queen. it soon becomes obvious your falling for for but you have to return home soon and you live miles maybe even countries apart. You say your goodbyes and promise to keep in touch. For the next two months you text and wrte constantly. Your realise your falling in love with this person and you want to return to see them soon. Do you

1. go as soon as you can, lifes too short and your love will overcome the distance

2. one minute decide to go and the next change your mind. you want to see him but it'll just be harder to leave again

3. decide to wait a while longer. see if if it really is love or just lust.

4. decide not to go and accept that you can probably never have a future with this person.

[blonde__batman]

wait a while longer

[Mist]

To be honest I'd see what the other person thought before doing any of those things.

[MySuffice21]

I say wait a little longer just to make sure that it is really love and not lust.

[Mr_Wobble]

I'd say give it a go. Visit. Enjoy the time. You will get a better idea of them if you're with them face to face, rather than on the phone. I would say be careful about declaring your love for them (I mean believing you're in love), as you don't know them that well. Just enjoy the time with them, and see how things develop.

Mr_Wobble ;)

[jacaranda]

I personally would break off a relationship if it became long distance. I just prefer everything to be closely knit around me and I would want to set my partner free. If I was in love with them then I'd find it difficult to let go but my head would be telling me it is for the best.

[big_man_with_a_]

jumping straight in at the deep end is a perfect way to drown.

you can't go from nothing - everything just like that, how do you even know you'll be able to live with the guy? what if he's the most obnoxious cunt that ever lived and you realise you can't be with him.

or worse, what if he thinks that of you?

what i'm saying is, you need to ease yourself into his life/him into yours. me? i saw my girl every weekend, for a while it was great, then after a bit it started to get to me. EVERY weekend? it took a good 9/10 months before i learned to get used to it, she stayed at my place for ages and i liked it, i didn't mind her being around at all, it was great. now a year down the line i'm gonna be moving in with her for a while (until i get my own place).

fools rush in where angels fear to tread. *nods*

[angelbabe]

Originally posted by jacaranda
I personally would break off a relationship if it became long distance. I just prefer everything to be closely knit around me and I would want to set my partner free. If I was in love with them then I'd find it difficult to let go but my head would be telling me it is for the best.

But if you loved them why break it off just cos it's not perfect? What relationship is perfect anyway, none I think you'll find! Being long distance actually brings you closer together I think as when you do see each other it's so special, and absence makes the heart grow fonder! And if you end up totally in love then surely you wouldn't make it long distance anymore cos you would move in together? How could breaking up with someone you love be for the best anyway?

[Meryn]

Originally posted by Mr_Wobble
I'd say give it a go. Visit. Enjoy the time. You will get a better idea of them if you're with them face to face, rather than on the phone. I would say be careful about declaring your love for them (I mean believing you're in love), as you don't know them that well. Just enjoy the time with them, and see how things develop.

Mr_Wobble ;)

Exactly! :) I find the whole defeatist views that people bring out when dicussing long distance relationships really depressing, and I think that people should at least give them a chance if they think they really like the guy or girl.

I'm not quite in the situation Hippy Chick described, as I'd actually known my boyfriend for about 3 months when he graduated and left Bristol, and in that time I'd got to know him fairly well, but I remember how scared I was when he left, not knowing what was going to happen, or how big the obstacles would be. I just knew I didn't want it to end just like that. But we're still together now, after nearly two years of doing the long distance thing. Yon never know until you try and I now can't imagine what life would be like if I'd just shrugged my shoulders and given up on him as soon as he'd graduated.

Let's have some open mindedness, people :D

[budda]

It depends what you think will happen, I'm not sure I could keep up a long term long distance relationship without there being any real chance of you being able to be together.
However my now wife and I were apart for about 5 months and that was nasty but because there was an forseable end to it it wasnt too bad.

[Kally]

I have NO faith in long distance relationships