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TheMusicMan
26-09-2002, 01:07 PM
Here's my effort ...........
How do you turn a duck into a soul singer?..................................Put it in the microwave until it's bill withers....

Or

Why do mice have small balls ? .....................................Because not that many of them can dance.

Or

Where can you find a hamster with no legs ? ............................Wherever you left it !

Ok, Your turn, Ready, Steady, Go!

rockerchick
26-09-2002, 01:09 PM
what dya call a fish with no eye?
fshhhhhhhhhh

Bangkok Chick Boy
26-09-2002, 01:09 PM
A man walks into a bar.....

Ouch!


A man walks into a bar....

With a roll of Tarmac under his arm....

"Pint of lager please mate".....

"And one for the road"

:lol: :lol: :lol:

SuzyCreamcheese
26-09-2002, 01:12 PM
"My dog Minton keeps eating all my shuttlecocks."
"Bad Minton!"

Lord of Little
26-09-2002, 01:14 PM
A fish swims into a wall.

Dam.

rockerchick
26-09-2002, 01:48 PM
mines still way funniest!

Crazyredeyes
26-09-2002, 01:50 PM
Whats brown and sticky ?


A stick !

SuzyCreamcheese
26-09-2002, 01:54 PM
what do you do if you see a spaceman?

Park in it man!

SuzyCreamcheese
26-09-2002, 02:03 PM
which one did u like? i put 2 jokes up

Brantree
26-09-2002, 02:16 PM
How do you catch squirrels?


Have a one-night stand with a dead tree

Daffeh
26-09-2002, 06:04 PM
no way, the best joke ever is...

Theres 2 fish in a tank, and one says

"How do u drive this thing?"

:)

Turtle
26-09-2002, 06:14 PM
Originally posted by Thefairmelissa
One for the Teutons amongst us.

Warum heißt Kanada Kanada?
- Weil keiner da ist.



Funniest joke in German, apparently.

Harmless
26-09-2002, 06:26 PM
I was driving down the motorway with my bird the other day when we both got a bit frisky and decided to do something about it. So we decided we'd take the next exit, but it was a turn-off.


A man walked into the doctors, he said "I've hurt my arm in several places" The doctor said "well don't go there any more".

A man walked into the doctors, The doctor said " I haven't seen you in a long time " The man replied "I know I've been ill".

Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.


:lol:

kaz
26-09-2002, 06:30 PM
Doctor, Doctor, I think I'm a pair of curtains!!

Pull yourself together, man!


What does a fish pick it's nose with?
- Fish Fingers.


What's the last thing to enter a fly's head before it hits the windscreen?
- It's ass.


What two things in the air can make a woman pregnant?
- Her legs.

Turtle
26-09-2002, 06:36 PM
Originally posted by kaz
What's the last thing to enter a fly's head before it hits the windscreen?
- It's ass.


That joke nearly killed me dammit!

TheMusicMan
26-09-2002, 07:14 PM
What has two legs and bleeds a lot? ..........



Half a dog !

Girl_gunner
26-09-2002, 08:30 PM
Who delivers puppies when the vet's busy?............................................. ............................the Midwoof!


Funniest fucking joke eva:D

Mindless all the way
26-09-2002, 09:20 PM
I liked the fish swimming into a wall one...

What do you call a man with a cow and a pig on his head?
Moohamed.

DaisyChainThing
26-09-2002, 09:42 PM
I don't get some of them. :( *feels a dumbass*

rockerchick
26-09-2002, 09:45 PM
this ones very gross and very horrible..


whats worse than 10 babies in one bin?[/SIZE




] [SIZE=1]one baby in ten bins

i know i know:rolleyes:

Mindless all the way
26-09-2002, 09:55 PM
Originally posted by Daisychainthing
*feels a dumbass*

Whos arse is that then? :p

Mindless all the way
26-09-2002, 09:58 PM
Following on from Rockerchicks joke so all blame is to be directed to her

How do you get 10 babies into a tupperware bowl?
A blender.

How dya get them out again?
Doritoes

*goes to the pub*

rockerchick
26-09-2002, 10:03 PM
Originally posted by Mindless all the way
Following on from Rockerchicks joke so all blame is to be directed to her

How do you get 10 babies into a tupperware bowl?
A blender.

How dya get them out again?
Doritoes

*goes to the pub*
you cheeky monkey!how dare you blame me!!
whats green red and runny?
a frog in a blender

my name
26-09-2002, 10:35 PM
what do you call a dog with no back legs and steel balls?

sparky



what do you call a woman with one leg?

Ilean



what do you call a man who has no arms and legs and likes to swim?

bob




what do you call a kid who has no arms or legs but his friends want him to play baseball?

second base

my name
26-09-2002, 10:38 PM
now these jokes are a series... so funny i piss laughing evey time i hear them:rolleyes:


how do you get a giraffe into a refigerator?

open the door and shove him in



how do you get an elephant into the fridge?

open the door, take out the giraffe and put him in



when the lion king has his meetings, what animal doesn't show up?

the elephant because he is in the fridge



how do you cross crocidale (sp?) infested waters?

walk across, the crocs are at the meeting







HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

evilemsie
27-09-2002, 01:17 AM
How many cats does it take to paint a house?
Depends on how hard you throw them.

Whats more fun than nailing a cat to a wall?
Ripping it back off again.

Whats the difference between cats and trampolines?
You take your boots off to jump on a trampoline.

and the shortest funniest words ever are -
cyclepath
venomless
and of course -

Dude!

Shogun
27-09-2002, 01:21 AM
Three tampons were walking down the street.which one said hello?.........none-cuz they are all stuck up cunts.:p

Glittery
27-09-2002, 01:22 AM
How do u make a polo mint laugh?

Tickle its hole

:o

morrocan roll
27-09-2002, 02:12 AM
Originally posted by evilemsie
How many cats does it take to paint a house?
Depends on how hard you throw them.

Whats more fun than nailing a cat to a wall?
Ripping it back off again.

Whats the difference between cats and trampolines?
You take your boots off to jump on a trampoline.

and the shortest funniest words ever are -
cyclepath
venomless
and of course -

Dude!
theres something i LIKE about you evil...

morrocan roll
27-09-2002, 02:14 AM
why dont witches wear knickers when flying ?
to get a better grip of the broom.

Mindless all the way
27-09-2002, 02:41 AM
What did the deaf, dumb and blind kid get for christmas?
Lukemia

What did he get for his birthday?
Nothing.... he was going to die anyway.

Mr_Wobble
27-09-2002, 02:41 AM
What's got 100 balls and fucks rabbits?
A shotgun! :)

Mr_Wobble ;)

Turtle
27-09-2002, 02:44 AM
Originally posted by Mindless all the way
What did the deaf, dumb and blind kid get for christmas?
Lukemia

What did he get for his birthday?
Nothing.... he was going to die anyway.

Tasteless.

Vaguely funny, I guess. :p

morrocan roll
27-09-2002, 02:47 AM
Originally posted by Mindless all the way
What did the deaf, dumb and blind kid get for christmas?
Lukemia

What did he get for his birthday?
Nothing.... he was going to die anyway.

i have a lot to do with disabled kids mindless and i have to say...
i will be telling them those jokes.

Mindless all the way
27-09-2002, 02:54 AM
Originally posted by morrocan roll


i have a lot to do with disabled kids mindless and i have to say...
i will be telling them those jokes.

Hehe... thought you were going to give me stick there. In my mind.... a jokes a joke. I have a lot worse. Ones I wouldn't dare post on here. But here's a nice one for ya:

What grey, sits at the end of the bed and takes the piss?
A kidney dialysis machine.

evilal
08-09-2009, 08:29 PM
What goes woof woof boom?

A terrierist

notanotherusername!
08-09-2009, 08:31 PM
2002! and it aint even funny

AllAmericanRageJunky
09-09-2009, 06:50 AM
what do you call a guy with no arms or legs in a pool?
-Bob

Whowhere
09-09-2009, 06:55 AM
This is post is so dead.

Lexi99
09-09-2009, 01:06 PM
This is post is so dead.

Hah so is Bob

katralla
09-09-2009, 02:13 PM
Your mum