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dai fychan
14-09-2002, 09:38 PM
Hi everyone,

after my recent failures (sp?) in the relationship department, ive gotten up the courage to ask a girl i've known for a while out...
she said she would love to go out with me but she cant because she's scared that she will hurt me.

things have happened in her past relationships (i.e. she's hurt a few people), but i dont care about that... but she just wont say yes because she's 100% certain it will happen again.

why is it that everytime i try to find a girl, i end up with stuff like this?
*TiNK*
14-09-2002, 10:10 PM
awww, just reasure her she wont hurt you, or try 2. i dont really know, ope things work out, luv s_m_b x
The Philosopher
14-09-2002, 10:12 PM
I know how you feel - it seems to be an affliction I have too. Some people find and go out with nice girls and are quite happy. Me? When I do find someone I like it usually turns out that they have relationship grey areas and they have been treated badly in the past. I wish I could say or make them believe I'm not going to or have no intention of hurting them but I don't think there is a magical cure.

The best thing you can do is to take it slowly and earn her trust. Perhaps try to be her friend more than anything and see where it goes.
SuzyCreamcheese
14-09-2002, 10:22 PM
she probably will hurt you. You seem to get hurt by most things
Lacy
14-09-2002, 10:25 PM
Maybe if you give her a little bit more time to think about it? :)
dai fychan
14-09-2002, 10:26 PM
thanks so much rainbow, that really boosts my confidence.

i just dont know what to do... i really like her, and she says she really likes me, but shes scared of hurting me :(
Lacy
14-09-2002, 10:29 PM
Originally posted by dai fychan


i just dont know what to do... i really like her, and she says she really likes me, but shes scared of hurting me :(

Not being nasty but she obviously knows something you dont. Give yourself some time to see if it happens or not.
The Philosopher
14-09-2002, 10:37 PM
I'm such a dozy bugger sometimes. I just realised my argument is aimed at the wrong person. I thought for some reason it was her afraid of being hurt. Sorry, my bad.:crazyeyes
SuzyCreamcheese
14-09-2002, 10:46 PM
Originally posted by dai fychan
thanks so much rainbow, that really boosts my confidence.

i just dont know what to do... i really like her, and she says she really likes me, but shes scared of hurting me :(

i dont mean to put a downer on you dai, I think you seem a very sweet person, but you do seem to be very intense, and i imagine that would put some people off. you just need to lighten up a bit maybe.
BeckyBoo
15-09-2002, 12:43 AM
Originally posted by dai fychan
Hi everyone,


things have happened in her past relationships (i.e. she's hurt a few people), but i dont care about that... but she just wont say yes because she's 100% certain it will happen again.

why is it that everytime i try to find a girl, i end up with stuff like this?

You want to be thankful she aint messing you about, Id give her some credit for being honest.
Would you really want to end up with someone who hurts people? No I dont think so because you deserve better than that:)
*DEVIL*
15-09-2002, 11:25 AM
Do you want to be hurt? You say why do you always get hurt as if you really do not like it. And then you are there trying to get someone to go out with you knowing they will let you down. why?

Find someone you know will treat you right, or if it is you being too easily upset, learn to deal with things before getting into a relationship.
BumbleBee
15-09-2002, 11:33 AM
The reason she doesn't want to go out with you has been made clear!

You say you don't think she will hurt you yet she thinks she will. I'd go with her gut feeling if I were you because she knows her own mind.

Perhaps she doesn't like you enough to not hurt you, or even better, perhaps she likes you so much that she is saving your feelings, in which case you should be flattered.

If you like her as much as you say you do and don't care about the consequences then I really think you should have a chat alone with her and explain to her that you only live once, you need to take some risks in life in order to find true happiness.
**Cinderella**
15-09-2002, 02:23 PM
And i couldnt agree more than with bumblebee!! Tell her to take a risk, but if you get together and she does hurt you-you cant say you were never warned! Maybe not havin a relationship with her is better than havin a broken one! That way you cant look back on it and think how badly your relationships go cause there never was one. You just gotta wait to meet someone and its usually when you least expect it!
Goodluck anyway x
freefallinangel
15-09-2002, 03:25 PM
Get her to give you a go and say that you are well aware of the past but surely thats where itll be.... lifes too short to not take chances and if it does go pearshaped, least you tried it and can learn from it! The worst phrase in the English language is ..... 'What if?' ;)
dai fychan
15-09-2002, 09:49 PM
ok everyone, shes settled on 'no' as her answer and theres no way her mind can be changed...

thanks for your advice anyway.
barbie
16-09-2002, 03:25 PM
Originally posted by rainbow brite
she probably will hurt you. You seem to get hurt by most things
Miaow Rainbow! :eek:
SuzyCreamcheese
16-09-2002, 03:30 PM
sorry:o
barbie
16-09-2002, 03:31 PM
Originally posted by rainbow brite
sorry:o
Dai seems like a deep, sensitive soul.
byny
16-09-2002, 03:48 PM
It's possible she doesn't fancy youand is letting you down gently.

Just cos you fancy her doesn't mean she fancies you.

Thats life baby!!
SuzyCreamcheese
16-09-2002, 03:52 PM
he is deep and sensitive, but thats why he gets so hurt I think. I didnt mean what I said in a nasty way at all. I can be a bit blunt sometimes though unfortunatly. I think the problem with being so deep and sensitive is that it can put people off because it can put people under a lot of pressure. most relationships start off lighthearted and a bit of fun and then possibly develop into more, rather than being intense and deep straight away.