Flatmate torubles :(

[ConfusedMale]

I moved here about 3 weeks ago, and im living in a halls of residence flat with 5 other guys. I'm having a bit of trouble, so here's my little rant.

To start with it was fine, freshers week and all, getting pissed every night, everyone getting to know each other. The problem is now that everything has settled down somewhat, my flatmates appear to be treating me like shit.

Where do I begin ?? Well one guy i live with is being a complete and total prick to me. When its just me and him alone then things are okay, but when were with other people then he slags me off, takes the piss continually, and basically makes me feel about two feet tall in front of everyone else. Added to the fact that he blabbed to everyone something i said to him in private, im getting a bit annoyed to say the least.

Then there are the chicks from upstairs flat, who appear to hate me for no apparent reason. One of them, who i got talking to during freshers week, accused me of groping her (which was a lie and now she has been telling people that I look oike a paedophile, which has completly offended me, because she has no idea about my past, so she was in fact being quite insulting. She doesnt even know me, so I'm kinda hurt.

I'm also getting over a major relationship in my life, which i finding really difficult right now. I need my own space a lot, and to be honest I am finding im going to my room and crying a lot, but the other guys see this and kinda take the piss outta it.

Added to the fact that they are all conviced I am gay, because of my musical tastes, and the fact that I am really kinda camp, its all getting me down.

I dont want to fall out with them, and I want to get on with everyone, but I cant put up with this for much longer.

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Mama I love you, Mama I care.

[kaz]

Dude, I don't mean to sound harsh, but you're setting yourself up as a victim. Hear me out, though. You've been through a really shitty time and on top of that you've had a huge upheaval in your life moving.

But you need to take control. You deserve to be happy and not to let anything spoil your chance at a clean break and a new chapter in your life. I found my first year of uni hard, but I didn't start to enjoy myself until I loosened up and came out of my shell. Retreating further into yourself is not the answer, don't let them win.

Dude, spending your time crying in your room is not the way to make a fresh start and meet people. Think about it...if you had a housemate who spent his time moping, would you want to hang out with him?

This is your opportunity to take control of your life. Bollocks to what your flatmates or a bunch of silly little bitches think!

I've been bullied, and I've had some awful flatmates, and I know how shit aggro invading your personal space can be. *hugs* But it's up to you to be strong enough to survive. Give as good as you get, learn to laugh at yourself. Make the effort to be freindly without being a doormat, and if they are still dickheads, fuck 'em. It's uni, there are hundreds of others like yourself...find someone else to hang with.

I hate to think of you sitting in your room unhappy as potentially the best time of your life passes you by. Go for it confusedmale, get out of the house as much as possible!

good luck <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif">

[Eustacia]

I agree with what Kaz wrote.
One more thing: Don't try to get along with everybody you meet, you'll only make yourself unhappy. Maybe you are unlucky with your flatmates and the girls upstairs, so what? You can change flats and the people around you. You have tried to get on with them but one of your flatmates obviously only feels good when he can belittle you and you don't really need this. Surround yourself with people who make you feel good, sod the rest!

[kaz]

yeah, that's the great thing about uni. unlike high school, u don't have to put up with morons every day, at uni YOU choose who you hang out with.

Give it time. I was in second year B4 I met the friends I hang round with now. Although I met alot of people in first year and had a laugh, it takes time to find your feet with a group to feel at home with.

[Susie]

Give it time but, just in case, here are some helpful articles: http://ned.thesite.org.uk//student/removing_a_flatmate.html
http://www.thesite.org/student/avoiding_the_weirdos.html

Susie <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif">