I have totally messed up now

[Annii]

Hi

I posted a while ago about having been violent towards my partner. the latest is that he has said that all the evidence shows I don't deep down want to be with him and I need to think about weather I really want to be with him. I know I really want to be with him but when I tell him that he says "Stop saying that and think about what you really feel cos its obvious that deep down you don't love me". Any ideas on how I can get of of this fix? <IMG SRC="confused.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">

[TC]

From what I've read from this post and the previous ones, it seems that he says this to you because of the way you have treated him in the past. Imagine he was violent towards you, and then he says 'I love you' and 'I want to be with you'! Would you believe it after all that?? Could you stand to be with someone that was violent towards you. I'm not doubting your love for him, but put yourself in his place for one second and imagine what it's like for him?? Heres someone that says they love you, but look at the evidence of your love shown towards him?? It seems he doesn't trust or believe what you say anymore, and its understandable. You have to take responsibilty for you actions, and this is the result .... he can't believe what you say anymore judged on you're past actions.

And even though we shouldn't judge, we do, so you have to really really try hard so he can gain back your trust. Otherwise he'll always remember how you treated him
<IMG SRC="confused.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">

[SeaShihtzu']

Look slike he's made up his mind doesn't it? I'm not sure you can get out of this one, but remember, next time don't let the same thing happen.

[Annii]

Thanks guys. I can totally see where you are coming from. I have started sorting myself out and I trying to get counselling so I can sort out why I react like this. Have you got any ideas how I can help him to trust me again or do you think I've pushed him too far?

[TC]

Well time will tell, once he see's that you're making a vast improvment to change, hopefully he will see that you do care and love him. Then maybe your trust will be re-gained. Until that time comes - who knows??? <IMG SRC="confused.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">