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Lil'Dick
05-08-2001, 07:12 PM
heres some chat up lines i found somewhere on the net.

1. i can read you like a book. i bet you're great between the covers.
2. what winks and is great in ned?
girl: I dUn kNow..
(wink)
3. do you want to come back to my place for a pizza and a shag?
girl: no
whY? You Dun Like PizzA?
4. its getting late. why dont we have a shag?
no thankz. i an too tired.
well would you mind lying down while i have one?
5.whan i was a prisoner of war, they tortured me on the rack, and it wasn't just my legs that they stretched...
6. they best thing about you would have to be.. my arms.
7. (call her using your finger)
i made you come using just one finger. imagine what i could do with my whole hand!
8. nice legs. when do they open?
9. i'm like quick drying cement, after i;ve been laid, it doesn't take me long to get hard.
10. you's probably regret it in the morning if we slept together, i suppose. so how about we sleep together in the afternoon?
11. hello, you dont know me, but i've just come back from the future which you and me have the most passionate love affaire. and it started tonight, actually.
12. hi, i'm from wonderbra. we're conducting free spot checks to make sure our customers are wearing the correcr size braz. just breath out slowly once my hands are in place...
13. hi, i am a policeman, but that's not a truncheon...
14. there's something on your face, i think its beauty. let me try and get it off,, oh, its not comming off.
15. i'm a postman, so you can rely on me to deliver a large pakage.
16. i bet you a drink that you wont kiss me.
17. hello, i'm a cake. would you like to have it or eat it?
18. mind if i plug my lap-top into your modem socket?
19. if i told you i was well endowed in the undercarriahe department, would you shag me?
girl: no.
good coz i'm actually very small.
20. you make me feel like a squirrel. mind if i pile my nuts up againts you.
21. what are you doing for the next millennium?

tat all ::>>>>>>>>>>>>> aff.. damn tireed.. have to finish damn fuckign assignment..

Girl-From-Mars
05-08-2001, 07:45 PM
the only one that wouldnt make me think the guy was a prick and walk off with or without a slap in the face is this one:

16. i bet you a drink that you wont kiss me.

and 19's quite amusing! but the first part of it would probably make me not wanna get off with him.... people who are obviously out for sex the minute they meet you arent people i want to have sex with! work it out <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/tongue.gif">

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Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.

TheEgoHasLanded
06-08-2001, 12:15 AM
only 21? More to keep you goin....

Lines to introduce yourself with
That's a nice shirt you're wearing - Can I talk you out of it?
Excuse me is that a space suit you're wearing, because your ass is out of this world.
Pardon me, I seem to have lost my phone number, can I borrow yours?
Excuse me, is that dress/shirt/item of clothing felt? Would you like it to be?
The voices in my head told me to come and talk to you....
Person A: I'm sorry, were you talking to me? Person B: No Person A: Well then, please start.
Pardon me, but may I attempt to seduce you?
[Lick finger, and rub it on the clothing of the person, then rub it on yours (just a light touch will do)] So, what do you say we get out of these wet clothes...
Nice shoes. Wanna go to bed with me?
Hi, my name is {name}. How do you like me so far?
Sorry, I thought you were someone else, by the way, here's my card.
Hi, would you like to dance or should I go **** myself again?
Do you come here often?
Where have you been all my life?
You see my friend over there? [Point to friend who sheepishly waves from afar] He wants to know if YOU think I'M cute.
Nice to meet you, I'm (your name) and you're...gorgeous!
Hi, I just wanted to give you the satisfaction of turning me down; go ahead say no.
I may look like a nerd, but it's only a disguise.
I'm no good at opening lines so why don't we pretend we know each other.
Hand someone a card with "smile if you want to sleep with me" on it, and watch them try and hold back the grin
[Two on the same theme]: Is that a spacesuit you're wearing cos your ass is just out of this world. Or this rather interesting variation IS THOSE PANTS FROM MARS BECAUSE BABY YOU BUTT IS OUT OF THIS WORLD (apparently this means your butt is all that and a bag of chips and is very fine and that it's worth looking at).
Can I flirt with you?
This is my first time using a chat up line so could you show me the way?
You: Hi there, your name is ....(make up some rare name) isn't it??? Them: Nope You: Oh, have you got a sister called.... then? Them: Nope It'll almost certainly get you talking.
Have you always been this cute, or did you have to work at it?
Hi. I suffer from amnesia. Do I come here often?
Stand still so I can pick you up!
You look like my wife. She: Oh, how many times have you been married? Twice.
Wow.
My drink is getting lonely, so would you like to join me with one?
Pardon me, but what pickup line works best with you?
Um, excuse me, Can I have directions? (To where?) Your heart.
"Excuse me, but I DO think it's time we met".
I've been trying to meet a person like you for hours.
Love is like a rug...walk all over me...lie on me...but no animals allowed.
I'd gladly give up celibacy to be with you.
I am an organ donor, need anything?
You must be lost because I have never seen anyone so beautiful here before.
Have you ever kissed a rabbit between the ears? (Pull your pockets in side out....)
You're really cute!
Excuse me, do you think we might have a mutual friend that might introduce us?
You make me so nervous that I've completely forgotten my pick-up line.

Post eye-contact or "Hello"
Do you believe in love at first sight?...Or do I have to walk by again
Do you have 10p? Cos I promised I would call my Mum as soon as I fell in love.
If I follow you home, will you keep me?
When you told me to **** off was that a no?
I lost my phone number. Can I borrow yours?
I was sitting here holding my cigarette/drink when I realised I'd rather be holding you.
Say, didn't we go to different Universities together?
You are the reason why I come here alone.
I know this is going to sound like a line, but did that sound like a line? And more importantly are you disappointed?
You know what I like about you? My arms. (or legs if you're feeling adventurous)
[Follow these instructions: 1. Make sure that you are in front of the person you are trying to attract. 2. Put your hands in a vertical plane and separate your hands to the desired distance. 3. Look at the person of your affections with a shit eating, ear to ear grin. Shake your head up and down as to reply that you're this big.]
Excuse me. Do you want to sleep with me or should I apologise?
What would you do if I kissed you right now?
[Tap your thigh] You just think this is my leg.
My mate over there just told me I was like M&Ms - cos I'll melt in your mouth but not in your hand.
I can sense that you're a terrific lover, and it intimidates me a little.
Your name is Sandra, huh? Can I call you Sandy? Really, what time?
Aren't you tired yet. Because you've been running through my mind all night
If you take my heart by surprise, don't you think the rest of my body deserves to go with it?
Walk up to a girl and tell her that you bet her 1 that you can make her breasts move without touching them. Make them move by touching them, give her 1 and tell her that it is the first time you have failed.
Hi. I'm Big Brother. I've been watching you...
(At church during a sermon or lecture etc.) (Put your arm around your gal...) Honey, I don't know where he is....(motioning to the speaker) but I do know I'm here with you.
Hi, I just moved to this city and was wondering if you could recommend a good restaurant here. Would you also like to join me?
[While looking at someone and waiting for them to say anything] Oh, I'm doing fine! And you?
Aren't we supposed to get together for a candlelight dinner later tonight?
Shall we talk or continue flirting from a distance.
Do you mind if I stare at you up close instead of from across the room?
My name is Jeffrey, but you can call me anything at all. Just call me.
Actually, I tend to make normal conversation rather than try to dazzle someone with a Kamikaze one-liner.
You know, I'm not just an interesting person, I have a body, too.
You are truly beautiful, can you cook? No? Mind if I do?
So what are the chances that we can engage in anything besides just conversation?
(To someone that's working) What time do you get off and how?
Have you always been this cute, or did you have to work at it?
Hi. I suffer from amnesia. Do I come here often?
I'd spend money on you I haven't even made.
So...Do you want to sleep with me, or do I owe you an apology?
.If your not doing anything with your lips, how would you like to talk to me?
So, what time do we get off?
Is it just me, or does everyone here have a pick-up line?
Were you checking me out was that just my ego just kick in?
When you need a hug or someone to talk to, I'll be there.
If I told you that you have a great smile, you'd probably think that I was trying to pick you up. You have a great smile and I am.
Hi, I'm not trying to pick you up, I picked you out.
How do you feel about adopting boyfriends if you don't have one of your own?
My friends are leaving, but I'd love it if you gave me a reason to stay.
Is it me, or are we the only two here not trying to score?
You've got a smile I'd like to wake up to.
Excuse me for starring, but I love the view.
Is there a fire in here or are we just standing too close?
You look like some one that I'd like to talk to.
You don't know me, but you'd like to.

Use at your own risk...
Do you sleep on your stomach?...no?....Can I ?
Is that a mirror in your pocket? Cos I can easily see myself in your pants.
That shirt is very becoming on you, of course if I were that shirt I would be cumming on you too.
Hey, is it hot in here, or is it just you.
Have you ever been licked/sucked until tears rolled from your eyes?
[hold up hand] Know why you should use this hand to masturbate? No, why? Because it's mine.
A: Excuse me, do you have the time? B: Do you have the energy?
You look like someone who has heard every single line in the book - so what's one more!
I'm new in town, can you give me directions to your apartment?
You know what I like about you? My arms. (or legs if you're feeling adventurous)
I'd give you a piece of my mind, but I have more of something else.
Do you have a boyfriend? Well, when you want a manfriend, come and talk to me!
[Take an icecube to the bar, smash it and say]: Now that I've broken the ice, will you sleep with me?
If you want me, don't wake me, or shake me, just take me.
I'm sure you didn't mean to turn me on, but it's too late now!
What can I do to make you sleep with me?
What winks and fucks like a tiger? (said while winking)
[Look at her shirt label. When they say, What are you doing?:] Checking to see if you were made in heaven. OR: Checking to see if you're the right size.
[Grab their ass] Pardon me, is this seat taken?
All those curves, and me with no brakes.
Were you in Boy Scouts? Because you sure have tied my heart in a knot.
Have you seen (any movie)? Would you like to?
You're so hot than when I look at you I get a tan - OR (if you already have a tan) - I used to be white before I walked in here, but you're so hot you gave me a tan (show them both sides of your hands as you do this, for effect).
[Take a rose up to them then say]: Hi, I just had to show this rose how cute you were
I don't love you, but I could!
Be unique and different, say yes.
Here's your chance to get to know me.
Like the look of your crotch.
Write a small note, at the end write: "Believe me when I say that my heart cries out to you and if kisses could be sent in writing you would be reading this letter with your lips.
Wanna dance? No? I'm sorry you must have misunderstood me. I said you look fat in those pants.
I felt a wave to positive kinetic energy hit me when you entered the room.
What's so funny, are you falling in love?


better?

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Atificial Intelligence is no match for Natural Dumbness <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.stopstart.fsnet.co.uk/smilie/rolleyes.gif">

*porn_star_fairy*
09-08-2001, 12:48 AM
fan bloody tas tic kept me entertained for ages dont think ill be tryin any of em out just yet tho heheh

Powerslave
09-08-2001, 12:57 AM
LOL .... so how many babes have you pulled with them TEHL? <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/biggrin.gif">

Turtle
09-08-2001, 01:56 AM
Originally posted by *Groovaybaby*:

Originally posted by TheEgoHasLanded:
only 21? More to keep you goin....


<IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/eek.gif">
Whats the authors name again? Oh yeah its TheEgoHasLanded..
I bet he thinks he's great now he's posted all those! Proves that the username reflects on da person He must have a big EGO.
<IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/tongue.gif">
LMFAO



ooooh wow witty reflective comment there from groovaybaby. i mean, really, hands up who found that even slightly amusing?

*will wait to explain sarcasm*