Fear of sex.

[too-tight]

I have been married for over 2 years now and still have not had sex with my husband.<P class="body">I love him very much but i am scared of pain and think it will hurt too much. I am very tight but the doctor says i am normal down there. <P class="body">Recently i have started to relax and insert my finger in but it has a tight fitting. It hurts so a penis is likely to cause intense pain.<P class="body">My husbie has given up - says when i'm ready it will happen. I don't think it ever will.<P class="body">Have you got any tips. How can i relax?<P class="body">I have heard about some drug (rape drug) been used in some clubs. Is it worth me getting something like this?<P class="body">Please help. I feel us drifting apart now.<P class="body">

[Mickey]

It sounds like your best bet is to go to a sympathetic doctor, and then ask to be referred for some specialised counselling, because your problem is fear and nervousness.<P class="body">Taking 'rape' drugs means that you will not be properly in control of the situation. Do you really like the idea of your husband having sex with you while you are partly or fully unconscious? It sounds horrible to me, and you could end up feeling like you have been raped or used.<P class="body">If your man respects you, he will wait until you are ready to have sex. Maybe you are thinking about the drugs because you are afraid of losing him?<P class="body">I hope things work out OK<P class="body">Mickey

[DaveyRaveyGravey]

Agree with everything said so far. 2 years is a long time, so maybe it might be to do with how you really feel about your relationship. I know u say u dont want to lose him, but r u really happy in your relationship? Might be worth thinking through, or better still talking through with a counsellor - someone like Brook Advisory Service whose details you can get on this site - cause you might be hiding behind fear of sex cause u dont want to confront bigger issues. Good luck!

[too-tight]

Thanks for your suggestions.

I am currently learning to insert objects into my vagina to see how comfortable I am with it. I am getting used to it but they are smaller than his penis.

I am still scared but will try tommorow.

I love him and our relationship is brill (except for the lack of sex)!!.

too-tight

[Pete]

Excuse me "Too Tight", please correct me if I am being a little outrageous here but somehow I get the impression that you have not really been married for 2 years without having sex and are in fact a sad individual probably male, 15 yrs of age and single and are only using this site as some kind of sick form of cheap entertainment instead of using it for serious personal development!

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Bad Boy Pete

[ian]

Hi,

If this is a serious posting... given other comments, then my advice would be to seek help from your partner and someone professional.

I was in a relationship similar to this but we weren't married and it only lasted 6 months but all the same, enough pain was dealt and the problems were there :-(

I wonder if there is something else that is causing this problem for you? Your obviously not able to relax enough, perhaps your worried and scared... which I can understand but you must face whatever the problem is and as soon as you feel you can, which I know is easy to say.

Otherwise I wonder if your going to run into more problems with your husband and yourself... perhaps showing appreciation/love another way to your husband would help. He'll help all he can if he knows you love him.

Good luck,

Ian.

[Pete]

GET YOUR HANDS ON SOME CANNIBAS, EAT SOME PIZZA, LISTEN TO SOME BARRY WHITE AND HEY PRESTO AUTOMATIC SEX NO PAIN, JUST PURE PLEASURE <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif">

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Bad Boy Pete

[Mickey]

Well done, Pete.

Great bit of advice. Sympathetic and intelligent.

Not

[Angel star]

pete you have the perfect solution - except for the cannabis, i can't condone that!!! lol



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Men are taught to apologise for their weaknesses, women for their strengths

[too-tight]

Is there anyone else out there with the same problem?

By the way Pete, this is a genuine problem, and i am not 15, iam 26 years old.

too-tight

[laws]

Pete's a prat - ignore anything he says. He's probably a unicellular organism, judging by the amount of intellect he's shown on various postings.

[dirty_harry]

My advice is before penetration let him lick and taste your pussy to widen it up a little and get you excited. Good luck.

[T2k]

if it hurts so much just let him fuck u up the arse

[laws]

Re: the last two entries - Nice, very tasteful(!)

[Dom Waghorn]

Originally posted by T2k:
if it hurts so much just let him fuck u up the arse

T2k:

Just a little suggestion...

I don't wanna go quoting the rules of the boards again - it's boring as hell - but I think I'm right in saying no one wants to read stupid stuff like your above comment.

If I'm wrong, I'm sure people will point it out to me.

Dominic

[Niner]

too-tight,
I had a human sexuality class in college and learned a little about this condition. Ladies who had this problem where giving a set of "man toys" (would it be proper to use the other word?) by a gynocologist. They ranged in size from about a finger to a little bigger than the average male. They were told to go from the smallest to biggest over a certain period of time...maybe 2 weeks. Half-way through the 2 weeks, the male is supposed to come in and watch....to get the female more compfortable with him around. Then when she can get the largest one to "fit", the male is supposed to insert it for her. Then finally the moment of pure joy.

Sorry for the long post. I truly hope this helps or at least gets you closer to a solution. This is something that can bring you two closer than anything else in this world.

Niner

[This message has been edited by Niner (edited 18-07-2000).]

[Steven84]

I would suggest inserting small objects at first then when comfortable inserting larger objects as time moves on.

[babyworms10]

how bout massage?do you actually get turned on at all?if you do then you need to relax - don't think - just feel and concentrate on the sensations.use loads of lubricant.it will hurt the first time but after that it gets really good.can u make urself cum?maybe have sex after that?

[ShyBoy]

this thread is 7 years old :) :yippe: unfortunately the OP has probably solved her problem by now. If not, poor her, 9 years of marriage and no sex = :( :no: