advice

[DUMDUM]

I am in a situation and i don't know what to do.

My sister has been married since i was 7 (now 15) but recently her husband has bee starting to make me feel very uncomfortable. He is 27 and would sumtimes get me drink (my sister doesn't know) and we have always been quite close. But recently he sends me e-mails now telling me he has feelings for me and things he would like 2 do to me (if u know what i mean).He says i have matured a lot recently etc and always asks me questions about what i do on a night out. I have no feelings for him like this and have never lead him on - i see him more as a brother.
This is really beginning to worry me but i don't want to say anything because my sister has enough problems to deal with at the minute but i now avoid visiting her and my nephews because of it.
Any suggestions are welcome.

Thanx.

[This message has been edited by DUMDUM (edited 04-12-2000).]

[taxidriver]

You need to have a word with him and set the record straight. Tell him you are not interested and that he is a Married man. If he still does not get the message then for the best you must tell your sister. She may not believe you because she maybe scared of losing him. He is acting very iresponsibly towards his married life and should be stopped b4 he goes too far.good luck,im sure the others will give you some advice too <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif">

[Spirit]

There are lots of things to consider here, which Im sure you know.
I think you need to ask yourself a lot of questions like 'do you want you sister to know what is going on' or 'do you think you could cope with the aftermath if you tell her' and 'what sort of effect will this have on everyone if they know'.
Obviously I dont know your family so I dont know how you should go about this.
One of my friends actually snogged her brothers fiance and was starting to get close to him but she ended up telling her sister and it broke her whole family apart, but the sister stayed with him and they are all starting to get on a bit more now.
If it was me, I would confront the guy about this and really have it out with him, I would make it very clear to him that I was not interested in him and that I would never do anything to hurt my sister like that. I reckon hes probably cheated on your sister b4 because if he is trying to get it on with you, it sounds as though he would stoop to anything.
I think after youve done this is he didnt give up I would be the sort of person to tell my sister.
Obviously it is up to you to decide, different things work for different people, the other guys and gals should reply to you as well and they might have some good ideas 2.

I hope everything gets better, let us know how you get on when you work something out.

[DUMDUM]

Thanx for the advice taxidriver & Spirit. I know i have to confront him about it but i really don't want to have to tell my sis about it as my family already have a lot of problems at the minute. Despite what he has done he is a good father to the kids and i do think he loves my sister although that sounds stupid. I think i will reply to the latest e-mail telling him (in no uncertain terms) that he is out of order.
I will let u know how things go,
Thanx again. DUMDUM

[dirty_harry]

I think its better to blow the wistle, cause some chaos and watch the fun.

[SexyCinderella]

Harry, dont you think thats a little insensitive??

I think you should tell him its not happening then if he doesnt get the pic i think ur guna have to tell your sis.
Good luck!!!

[RedEd]

If you do confront him, get some support from somebody else first. This man is twice your age which makes him both a pervert and someone who has much more power over the situation than you do. Show the emails to a parent or guardian. This man could actually turn out to be quite dangerous. You say he is a good father to his kids - but will he try it on with them when they become teenagers? They might need to be protected.

[RedEd]

Also, maybe he is trying to get you drunk so that you can't say no to him when he wants sex. He might be planning to sexually assault you. Please please don't try to sort this situation out on your own.

[JB]

Good advice RedEd.

[GwaiMui]

The guy's a total sicko. How can anyone in the right mind go for a girl that they knew as a 7 year old girl, no matter how nicley they had matured. It's sick.

You say he is a good father but a guy who is really a good father would not go on like that. How would his kids feel if they ever knew? If he is such a good dad he would be concentrating on being nice to his kids, not making a beeline for you. He's a pervert and that's that. And if he loved your sister he would not be doing this. If he is unhappy in his marriage he should leave, not make a pass at his wife's kid sister who is not even legally old enough to have sex. (attempted statutory rape)!

The best thing to do is set the record straight. Tell him it'll never happen. If he still persists u really need to tell your sis.

If u want someone else to email him so he gets the message just let me do it. I can assure u he will never try it again after I've finished with the dirty bastard!

Good Luck, dumdum.

[DUMDUM]

Ok just to let how things went ...
I sent the e-mail and he replied. He siad hes really sorry that he f***ed up and it will never ever happen again. So I said i wouldn't say anything thing but if it happens again I have proof and I will have 2 tell my sis.
Thanx 2 RedEd, Gwai Mui and every1 who posted - ur advice was a great help.
Dumdum

[This message has been edited by DUMDUM (edited 06-12-2000).]

[This message has been edited by DUMDUM (edited 06-12-2000).]

[RedEd]

Well done DUMDUM - hope you are OK. If he tries it again, you MUST tell someone.

[SexyCinderella]

Well done babes.........hope everythin stays like that. Please tell someone tho if he tries it again.
Lotsa Love!
Ju xxxxxxxx