im jealous, its driving me mad

[Smartie]

Hi everyone, i just want some kind advice, not to be judged here please, im going through a hard time on my own at the minute.

I wrote previously about being worried about my boyfriend cheating. Now im sure for certain he isn't, now all i can think about is him and his exes. Ive been having really bad dreams at night, everytime i see them, i feel funny, and its starting to drive me mad, as ive never ever been the jealous type at all before. I really want to stop it, cos i keep asking him questions, wanting to know more and more, and i really push it til he tells me things, and then i end up more upset than i already was. Im really annoying myself here, i know jealousy is silly and IM being silly, so i dont need anyone to tell me that please, i just need some advice on how to make myself stop. I know that he is with me now, thats all in the past and i should be looking to the future with him, i love him dearly, but these thoughts wont go away :(

[icey]

The only advice i can offer really is to stop and think. Everytime something comes into your head like a question or a thought that you want to verbalize, wait. Just hold yourself back from saying it, think through in your head the best possible way to word the question and if its not anything that will affect your world immediately then sleep on it, then think about it some more.
You will find that most things are not worth mentioning in the morning as they just sound silly.
Also, ask yourself if there is actually an answer that you want to hear, and how likely is it thats going to be the actual answer. If you're anything like me you will find that the things you build up in your head are things you actually want to be right about. For example if you suspect your partner is cheating, part of you will want it to be true so that its effectively justifying your fear.

[Smartie]

Thank you, i think your right and that really did help thanks alot. I think i will stop and think, because im starting to drive myself mad! Thank you again x