she's depressed

[jelly baby :)]

My mum has depression but its being medicated. She recently insisted she come down on the dosage and is sad all the time. She was crying today - it would be the 3rd time i've ever seen her cry. I'm really worried shes going to do something or just get herself down and not come out of it. What would I do to help without her knowing i'm helping? She thinks shes ok but shes obviousy not! :(

[notanotherusername!]

I recoment you read the sites section on depression. (http://www.thesite.org/healthandwellbeing/mentalhealth/depression)

It's tough especially if she thinks she is ok. But from experiance you know deep down you are not. It might take her some time to realise that she does need help, but it will come. All you can do (if she is not up for talking about it) is help in little ways, do stuff around the house, ask if she needs anything doing. You know what mums are like - she will probably know what you are doing but i'm sure she will be greatful. :)

[jelly baby :)]

thank you notanotherusername, does anyone else have any tips? JB x

[PreciousAndLoveIt]

thank you notanotherusername, does anyone else have any tips? JB x

Well I wish I did...
I don't really know what you're going through. So I can't give you any useful advice. Unfortunatly.
I haven't ever said much about this before but I have had a bit of a rough patch myself. I found ways to help cope. But they were not the answer.
If anything it made it worse. I'm not talking about it right now but as long as she has you and your love she should hopefully pull out of it.
Just keep helping her out with stuff as you are doing just now. In the long run she will appreciate it, even if it seems like she doesn't right now. P x

[Harry23]

Hi Jelly Belly,

Sound's like you are worried about your Mum at the moment and that it's been difficult to see her sad and crying. It's really good that you have posted about this and are seeking advice. You have been given some great responses, we just wanted to add a link to Thesite's page on supporting someone with a mental illness (http://www.thesite.org/healthandwellbeing/wellbeing/lookingafterothers/mentalhealthsupport), there is a link on that page to the Depression Alliance which maybe of particular interest to you?

Take care and keep posting. :)

[Makoto]

I know just how frustrating it can be, going through it with my other half who has pretty deep depression and it's hard to get people in this situation to listen, even if what you are telling them is supportive, honest and encouraging.

If you try and seek help the person in need will probably think that you are going behind their back, my missus thinks I am planning to have her locked up and what ever I am doing or whoever I have spoken to is just to slag her off and that everyone is saying bad things about her.

I think that if you can speak to your mums GP (with her consent) that would be great but at the same time you don't want to put thoughts in her head about going behind her back. Maybe next time she picks up her tablets you could go in the docs room with her?

I think that one of the most important things to remember is to stay calm and never show any frustration in front of her, ask her if she would like a chat but don't push her to speak, let her know you are there to speak to even if she just wants to vent her frustration (verbally).

These things will probably sound boring but they do help... go on a nice long walk, cook her some good grub, go to the cinema, have a girly night in (if your a girl) and do a bit of house work, make her feel appreciated and wanted and try to get her mind elsewhere.

[jelly baby :)]

thanks...i might go with her to the docs and just say my piece. thanks for the advice - its good to talk to someone who knows :) shes helpin me with uni things which seems to be helping! thank you :) JB x