My lyrics..

[curly_boy]

what do you think??
the bands a sort of mixture of influences of bands like alexisonfire, a day to remeber but with out the screaming, we're thinking of doing that but in alexisonfire style so u can understand

heres the first song i've written for us
Lets Toast the Rich (with our favourite drink)
VERSE 1:
I?ve got to let go
Fight back instead of holding on
this system is killing us
I?ll never be the same
Nothing ever will be
let?s raise the stacks and

CHORUS:
Lets toast the rich
With our favourite drink
Rise your glasses
Burn down the streets
Listen to the beats
And burn the streets

VERSE 2:
I?ve got to get out of this
good bye for a life time
theres no point in staying
when all that happens is
Just our downfall
so let?s raise the stacks

CHORUS:
Lets toast the rich
With our favourite drink
Rise your glasses
Burn down the streets
Listen to the beats
And burn the streets

VERSE 3:
I?m looking at the mess
that they?ve made
We?ll make our stand
right with our friends
fuck the rich
We?ll make our stand
right with our friends

CHORUS:
Lets toast the rich
With our favourite drink
Rise your glasses
Burn down the streets
Listen to the beats
And burn the streets

tell me what u think and if i can improve anything

Probaly should have put this in creative thread, my bad, if an admin could move it if they want

[craicjunkie]

not my cup of tea but keep writing its good too let the soul ouze onto paper to realise the shaded vigours of the mind. :thumb:

[Thunderstruck]

Way too liberally and emo for my liking. All the best.

[curly_boy]

Way too liberally and emo for my liking. All the best.

emo??? really, fair enough, don;t really class them as emo
but i do see liberally lyrics, and anti estbilashment lyrics

[ÜberGr!m]

I don't like them... To be honest, I don't like alexisonfire etc. either though. They don't seem to be anything new or different. They just sound like the lyrics to thousands of songs all written by rebels without a cause who know they hate conformity but don't really know why... That said, those thousands of songs are quite popular so maybe it's just me who thinks that...

[curly_boy]

fair enough
everyones allowed their own opionon even if it is wrong :P
lol
nah i'm still writting lyrics but i've got more of my own style now, i think

[Thunderstruck]

Down with Thatcher.

[Yerascrote]

It's like something a 15 year old would write.

"this system is killing us" and "fuck the rich" :D

There are better ways of making a class statement than that but yeh, all the best. Especially if you're doing live gigs, no one really knows or gives a fuck about the lyrics so as long as you're playing good music then go for it. :thumb:

[curly_boy]

well, 16 so its close enough
:P

[SnuggleBubbles]

For your age its not bad, there is something nice about listening to simple lyrics - life is a lemon is an example.

Keep on writing and eventually things will come to you and remember that most major musi artists write and rewrite songs before they are released :)

All in all not bad lyrics for a first attempt!

[piecesofme]

There not bad for a first go!

My bf writes lyrics and he's been doing it for years and he still has to re-write and re-write songs...so for a first go there not bad. You will become more developed over time!