Getting money back

[Ballerina]

My ex owes me £300 which I lent him at the start of january because he was skint and the bank wouldn't let him extend his overdraft. I sent him an email last tuesday asking for it back but I've had absolutely no word from him of when it might be or anything. He gets paid around the 20th each month so I'll see if I get anything then. I don't think he's so much of a cunt that he's going to bugger off with £300 of my birthday money which he was going to pay me back anyway. But I was just wondering what I should do if I don't hear anything in the next few weeks? I've got proof because I did it online and I still have the statement which shows that it went into his account.

[Kermit]

If he won't pay it back, and ignores you, then realistically you have one option. Take court action against him.

try and be nice but let him know that you're prepared to go that far if he doesn't give you the money back.

[Hellfire]

Thats all good and well but he could argue it was a gift and then it'd be his word against yours, he could say your only asking for it back because of split,

Hope hes not a cunt and gives it back.

[Ballerina]

Would it be worth sending another and say if its a problem then he can do say £100 each month for the next 3 months or something if I don't hear anything? Trying to get hold of him is like trying to get blood out of stone though because he's just been ingoring me since he dumped me. I might not exist anymore but my money does. Gah, I'm too nice.

[Hellfire]

*hugs* offer him to pay back a little each month but as Kermit said tell him your prepared to take action.

[Ballerina]

It was most of my 18th birthday money off my grandparents too, I put it into my account new years eve and transferred £300 to him a week later so I haven't seen my birthday money all year. I don't think he's that mean but it's just frustrating because he won't make an effort to sort things out so they can be over with quicker and I can be out of his life. But I have a £200 deposit to pay for uni accomodation and it's first come first serve (which I've told him) so I really need it back.

[Hellfire]

*hugs* well i hope you get it sorted :) and good luck. I hope you dont make the mistake again,

i'd loan you £200 but i need it for a new car and kitchen :p

[Kermit]

Thats all good and well but he could argue it was a gift and then it'd be his word against yours, he could say your only asking for it back because of split

He could do that, but the civil courts work on the balance of probabilities. Given the age and the amount of money a court is unlikely to say its a gift.

[Click to see more]

Get a big hairy bloke to knock on his door with you ;).

[purplebutterfly]

Would it be worth sending another and say if its a problem then he can do say £100 each month for the next 3 months or something if I don't hear anything? Trying to get hold of him is like trying to get blood out of stone though because he's just been ingoring me since he dumped me. I might not exist anymore but my money does. Gah, I'm too nice.

Its worth a try. Also give him a friendly deadline to contact you and make arrangements.

Do you have any mutual friends who could point out to him that you need the money back?

[Ballerina]

Well I don't have numbers or emails of any of his friends and he's unlikely to listen to any of mine (even though he was friends with them) because it makes me look like a bunny boiler. I'll give it til later this month and if i don't hear anything and nothing goes into my account I'll send another email. It's just so annoying - I have a life to sort out aswell. It's alot of money and the only income I have is EMA.

[ShyBoy]

For £300 after 4 months and him not contacting you I'd get your dad to take you round his house and speak to him / his parents in person, if he's not going to be a grown up about it. Try giving him a ring, but really it has been fecking ages now hasn't it? It's by no means being harsh on him to demand it back immediately, he's taking the piss. (unless you agreed he could pay you back in several years ;))

[Ballerina]

Well I'd been asking for it back for a while but he'd just moved again and was sorting out his rent and stuff, plus he was always skint. But he lives 200 miles away so can't do any door knocking.

[carrie3107]

Hi hon, going through a simular thing with my ex. (lent money not paid it back)

From what i have found out if you have evidence that he lent the money from you then you should be able to take it from the small claims court, but even if the court says that he should pay you back then be prepared for him not paying you back.

Try contacting him again asking for the money if he ignores you again say that you if you ignore me then i will have no other option then to seek legal advice. (Then see what happens) he might come up trumps.

This is the hard one except it as a life lesson and realise that your not going to get the money back. I know this is hard (cause it was for me, at the time i didnt have the money but over the time i've managed to pay off most of the debt).

I have a friend who when they split up her then partner left her in v serious debt. It brought me to my senses and thought id pay it off. (Maybe my ex will come to his senses but then again pigs might fly LOL)

The decision is yours, at least you have the evidence to show that you gave him the money. (Smart girl)!!!

Hope it works out for you.

[Ballerina]

Sent another email saying that if its a problem then to let me know so we can arrange installments, or if its ok to let me know when I can expect it back. Either way I need to know. So we'll see if i hear anything. If i stay on his back he'll get so sick of me he'll give it me to shut me up and get rid of me.

[TheKingOfGlasgow]

Ballerina,

Honestly, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but I think you best kiss that loan goodbye. My ex still owes me 300 pounds which she said she'd pay by last September and I still haven't seen it. We split up in December 06...

Essentially, unless you have something written down it's his word against yours. Sorry :(

[Ballerina]

I'm not giving up yet - it was my birthday money and he knows that. He knows I don't have much income and I've told him i've got a £200 deposit to pay. I'm going to stay on his back - if he wants to get rid of me he needs to give me my money back.

[carrie3107]

Hi hon,

At the end of the day its upto you what you want to do.

I went along the lines of everyweek for about 6 weeks contacting my ex for the money and he kept on saying yeah i'll give it to you next week, but it never happened. I came on this site to seek advice about what i should do about my relationship and the money and the advice i was getting was forget it.

I took on extra work and asked to be paid for some holiday money that my company owed me to get rid of my debt. I now owe about £40.00.

I can appreciate that the money you lent him was birthday money which you should have been able to spend on you and buy something nice for yourself.

If you can handle the fob offs and stress then persue it.

My friend was left with 30k of debt, it sort of puts it into prospective.

Hope it works out for you honxx

[Ballerina]

Yeah I know its not huge amount like some people get left with. But when you're a student it's alot and I need it now to get my accomodation. I'm stubborn so I'm going to keep trying. It's early days yet too, I haven't heard anything yet but I'll see if anything happens around the time he gets paid. I've not been nasty or threatened him (yet) so I don't understand why he's making it so difficult. I just want it back so I can be out of his life, which is obviously what he wants. It'll just make it so much easier. Gah, never lending money again. But if he doesn't then I know my parents will get involved.

[carrie3107]

Yeah i know hun, especially when your a student. (I remember the days)

Just take it easy and try not to let it stress you out too much hunxx

[Ballerina]

Just had to book accomodation on mums credit card because there were hardly any decent rooms left. Now I feel bad. :impissed:

[Ballerina]

Turns out his flatmate hadn't paid the internet bill so it had been cut off. He emailed me today from college. Said he'll give me some on the 22nd when he gets paid.

[ShyBoy]

All's well that ends well :)