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View Full Version : Why is it so difficult for me to penetrate my girlfriends vagina??



Guz200sx
01-09-2007, 11:32 AM
Even when I use lubrication and when we foreplay and oral sex, penetration is still difficult and after a couple of tries I get frustrated and lose my erection.

We have also tried different positions such as her on top, me on top and also me from behind.

At first, I thought it was me but I think its the design of her vagina..This may sound silly but I think my girlfriends vagina is too "tight"

In retrospect, I've never had this problem with other female partners.

If anyone has any suggestions on this please let me know. We have decided to try again tonite and If it doesn't work tonite then I don't know what we will do. We've already tried everything else and we are both ready to have vaginal intercourse.

Thank You.

PS: I am new here but I found this board specifically for this question and any help/advice anyone can provide is appreciated. :)

Janjan
01-09-2007, 06:36 PM
When trying to do so, do you use your hands to guide it in? (As appose to trying to poke it in if u know what i mean!)

nicolalou
01-09-2007, 06:45 PM
Perhaps she is nervous and therefore her vagina muscles are contracting. Or she could have an illness where the vaginal muscles contract involuntarily, and a trip to do the doctors would be in order.

Try a lot of foreplay before you try to have sex and make sure she's relaxed and really wet.

Guz200sx
01-09-2007, 08:07 PM
When trying to do so, do you use your hands to guide it in? (As appose to trying to poke it in if u know what i mean!)

Of Course I Use my hands! She has also tried with hers as well but its near damn impossible. :crying:

junker
01-09-2007, 08:11 PM
That makes no sense and it's really bizarre.

Guz200sx
01-09-2007, 08:12 PM
Perhaps she is nervous and therefore her vagina muscles are contracting. Or she could have an illness where the vaginal muscles contract involuntarily, and a trip to do the doctors would be in order.

Try a lot of foreplay before you try to have sex and make sure she's relaxed and really wet.

Yes...I'm reading about this one condition, Vaginismus, but it really doesn't sound like her. She is not experiencing pain or discomfort...so I don't know.

This is the first time both of us is having this problem....I'm also thinking that maybe its just the Angle....I am thinking about introducing some toys as well so I can loosen her up and then trying myself.

Guz200sx
01-09-2007, 08:18 PM
That makes no sense and it's really bizarre.



Believe me this is a first for me. :crying:

BTW, What doesn't make sense??

junker
01-09-2007, 10:26 PM
How simple it is but it's not working, and the vague explination of what is happening is making it hard to visualise and come up with a solution.

My analogy is someone trying to stick a plug in a socket, but it's not going in. Now, me personally, I'd want to try and see why it's not going in, and what the hell is actually happening. As in, get up-close and personal. Magnifying galss and all.

swampgirl
01-09-2007, 11:26 PM
Is she a virgin?

If I am nervous or feel self conscious we have the same problem but only for a few minutes??

wheresmyplacebo
02-09-2007, 02:08 PM
because you're trying to do it with a turkey baster?


hehe sorry, more foreplay for her needs is needed imo and then start with fingers and move up ;) what is she thinking of the of the foreplay, is it arousing her?

JustThinking..X
02-09-2007, 02:49 PM
she might have this thing called vagmius (sp) look it up it caused by tightened muscles or something I read about it once

**helen**
02-09-2007, 09:51 PM
That makes no sense and it's really bizarre.

I wouldn't say so - it's actually a common problem for young women having sex for the first time.

Although vagismus is a possibility, it's also quite rare. However, if as you say the problem persists even after prolonged foreplay and lubrication then it might be worth your girlfriend speaking to someone at a local sexual health clinic for advice and reassurance.

We get lots of questions about this into askTheSite and so I've pulled one from the archive:

Penetration problems (http://www.thesite.org/sexandrelationships/askthesiteqandas/sexualhealthqandas/penetrationproblems)

Also, it's clearly frustrating for you - but do be patient with her.
Hope this helps.

Ricardo R
02-09-2007, 10:09 PM
This has happened to me before with 2 girls - neither were virgins and both were aroused/wet it just wouldn't go in, I concluded that some people just aren't sexually compatible!

junker
02-09-2007, 10:31 PM
That is so weird. It's like watching someone eat a carrot, or some other cylindrical food item, and it's just not going into their mouth.

Pardon me, but that is a weird image. I wouldn't know whether to laugh or stare perplexed.

Ricardo R
02-09-2007, 11:14 PM
Yeah it's properly weird, fingers went in fine but dick, at same angle, just stopped at the entry point.

Jonny8888
02-09-2007, 11:19 PM
I suppose it depends on how big you are and what shes had in there in the past.

If you cant get it in though, get some good regular practice in with some fingers or something. She'll loosen up eventually! Could be quite fun getting there too lol

g_angel
02-09-2007, 11:29 PM
I suppose it depends on how big you are and what shes had in there in the past.



:lol: :no: That's not true etc...

Ricardo R
02-09-2007, 11:39 PM
I suppose it depends on how big you are and what shes had in there in the past.

If you cant get it in though, get some good regular practice in with some fingers or something. She'll loosen up eventually! Could be quite fun getting there too lolI'm fairly large/thick..one of them had slept with loads and had a very wide/open fanny, was actually worried she'd barely feel anything haha. Anyway we tried on more than one occasion it simply would not go in, yes it's baffling like why a carrot won't go in an open mouth haha, but I searched these sort of forums at the time (was a few years back) it's actually fairly common, I just concluded with some people it can't happen, not everyone's sexually compatible so we went our separate ways..!

g_angel
02-09-2007, 11:45 PM
one of them had slept with loads and had a very wide/open fanny, was actually worried she'd barely feel anything haha.


:lol:

My god mate - sometimes you do make me wonder... :confused:

The number of people a woman has slept with will have virtually no bearing on the size of their vagina (after the first few times, anyway).

One girl I slept with had slept with over 40 guys and was the tightest that I have ever been with. She also gave the best BJ I have ever had... But that is beside the point. Some women are naturally just 'wider' than others - trust me, I've been with enough. Everybody is different, after all.

Don't forget that there are exercises that can be done to tighten things up down there as well.

Certainly though, I agree that some people may just not be compatible, especially if the situation were to come around through a one night stand. Or rather, sometimes, perhaps the mood may have gone slightly on route home from the bar/club and so it may not have seemed such a good idea to the lady by that point.

JustThinking..X
03-09-2007, 01:32 PM
:lol:

My god mate - sometimes you do make me wonder... :confused:

.

:lol: :lol:

Guz200sx
06-09-2007, 02:54 AM
Thanks for the replies everyone.

To answer some of the questions...She is NOT a virgin.
I have used my fingers on her and she does reach orgasm that way. I have also tried two fingers in and it works but feels tight.

We've discussed trying again so possibly we may try again soon.

Her friend told her that maybe after we try and nothing happens that she gets frustated and tenses up. I think this true also. Because I know when we have tried more than twice, I lose my erection. I did almost enter once but the muscle above her vagina was very tight and caused me to pop out. Her friend also suggested to her to help me and guide me in better.

I do not believe The comment about not everyone is sexual compatible. Its just sex and I do not see how it can not be possible. I am somewhat convinced that it is the angle.

I am fairly sure she does not have Vaginmus (sp?) She does not have pain or discomfort from having my fingers in her. Although, she did have a tough childhood which could cause some pyschological problems. But she has had sex before.

rpcb61
06-09-2007, 08:43 PM
Just keep trying. Its worth it in the end. Just tell suport each other and it will work n the end. It could take a a while, but just keep trying & try not to get frustrated! Just be glad she can reach orgasm through ya fingers. If ya cant get in her - do that instead and really take ya time and milke it!

Good luck to u both - try and enjoy :)

lyra101
06-09-2007, 10:36 PM
I read somewhere there is no vagina in the world that won't accommodate a penis. You say fingers go in but penis doesn't? Probably that she's nervous... have you stretched it properly? like, do 3 fingers go in? Sounds like her vaginal muscles are tensing up for some reason.

g_angel
06-09-2007, 11:15 PM
I read somewhere there is no vagina in the world that won't accommodate a penis. You say fingers go in but penis doesn't? Probably that she's nervous... have you stretched it properly? like, do 3 fingers go in? Sounds like her vaginal muscles are tensing up for some reason.

Well - if a baby can get out of it...?? :lol:

Guz200sx
07-09-2007, 12:21 AM
Never tried three fingers...


I read somewhere there is no vagina in the world that won't accommodate a penis. You say fingers go in but penis doesn't? Probably that she's nervous... have you stretched it properly? like, do 3 fingers go in? Sounds like her vaginal muscles are tensing up for some reason.



Thanks. We will keep trying and I'm sure we will figure something out.
:)


Just keep trying. Its worth it in the end. Just tell suport each other and it will work n the end. It could take a a while, but just keep trying & try not to get frustrated! Just be glad she can reach orgasm through ya fingers. If ya cant get in her - do that instead and really take ya time and milke it!

Good luck to u both - try and enjoy :)

junker
07-09-2007, 05:33 AM
This might sound crude, but did you try just pushing harder? You know just forcing the spear into the wound so to speak?

Dobbin
07-09-2007, 07:17 AM
This might sound crude, but did you try just pushing harder? You know just forcing the spear into the wound so to speak?

No offence but thats got to be the worst advice I've ever read on here. The girl is obviously very frustrated, and if she's tensing up then 'forcing the spear into the wound' will just hurt her.

My advice would be to not worry about penetration for now but enjoy eachothers bodies in other ways- lots of touching and stroking with no emphasis on penetration at all. If it is because she's uncomfortable/nervous/embarrassed then this should help her feel more at ease. It'll also take the pressure off both of you. Good luck xXx

CoolMe
07-09-2007, 03:00 PM
Well you could try the foreplay and use your fingers first and when she's not looking slip it in...

junker
07-09-2007, 07:12 PM
No offence but thats got to be the worst advice I've ever read on here. The girl is obviously very frustrated, and if she's tensing up then 'forcing the spear into the wound' will just hurt her.

That wasn't advice, that was a question. I don't know how a vagina works. I am not a certified gynecologist. The only vaginas I've seen were in porn. Sorry if my naiveness is offensive.

The logic of pushing harder comes from two things. One, people are different, physically at least, and so even with past experience, someone's internal structure may be just slightly different enough to warrant giving it a little 'bump'. Two, an unforgiving thrashing mass exits that passage during child-bearing so I would think a little wiener wouldn't even be comparable, therefore warranting a slightly more determined and vigorous thrust.

Once again, all speculation. I have no idea how the structure or process works, but this topic is thoroughly baffling. Such a simple process that is being hindered, but no one knows why. Even people that this has happened to have no idea. It's like no one investigated it while they were in the situation. I, personally, would be so confused. I would want to find out what is going on because it makes no sense.

purplebutterfly
07-09-2007, 07:25 PM
No offence but thats got to be the worst advice I've ever read on here. The girl is obviously very frustrated, and if she's tensing up then 'forcing the spear into the wound' will just hurt her.

:yes: You try having someone trying to force their penis into you and you'd bloody wel shout at them. (And I should know I've done it)

You just have to keep trying, plently of fingering, trying different postitions, using your or her hands to guide you in and using a lube ifs she turned on but not wet enough.

dmdsexgod
08-09-2007, 12:06 AM
Maybe you have Erectile Dysfunction or don;t use enough lumbricant. Or perhaps, if you use condoms, maybe she is allergic to the latex.

Guz200sx
14-09-2007, 02:19 AM
Well, after talking to her one night and suggesting dirty talk, she pretty much froze up on me and we began to discuss why and I found out her father was pretty abusive towards her and her mother. So talking dirty is really something she does not like to do. Also she said I have lowered a lot of her emotional barriers that she has put up when she was with other guys. But she still has some.....so the more and more I think about it, the more and more I begin to believe she may indeed have Vaginismus, which stem from her Psychological and Emotional experiences in the past.

It took a lot for her to tell me this so I am weary now about bringing up this other thing with vaginismus.

lyra101
20-09-2007, 05:03 PM
Two, an unforgiving thrashing mass exits that passage during child-bearing so I would think a little wiener wouldn't even be comparable, therefore warranting a slightly more determined and vigorous thrust.

Surely you've heard how excruciatingly painful childbirth is? not to mention dangerous? and that it's fairly common to actually tear the vaginal opening? Seriously guys, just because a baby gets out of there does not mean sex is painless (the first time, anyway).