Stupid Customers. [Archive] - TheSite.org boards

RubberSkin

11-05-2007, 05:49 PM

Any idiot customer experiences?

Loads

Customer - How much are your Carling ?

Me - 8 for £6

Customer - It's only 8 for £5 down the road.

Me - Well fuck off down the road and buy some then.

-

Customer - How much are your flights to Paris.

Me - No idea, this is an off license.

-

Customer - These 3 wines that are 3 for £10.

Me - Yes ?

Customer - Can i swap one of the bottles for a bottle of champagne and still get them for £10 ?

-

Customer (holding up a bottle of Lambrini) - How much is this Champagne ?

-

Ring Ring, Ring Ring.

Me - Hello Booze Buster how can i help you ?

Customer - What time do you close ?

Me - 10pm madam.

Customer - Oh OK, i'll be there about 10.30pm

(following morning)

Ring ring, ring ring.

Me - Hello Booze Buster, how can i help you.

Customer - Yes i phoned last night to see what time you shut.

Me - Yes ?

Customer - And i was told that you shut at 10pm.

Me- Yes that's right, it was me that spoke to you.

Customer - So why, when i got there at 10,30pm, were you shut ?

-

Customer - 20 Benson please.

Me - Have you got some I.D. please ?

Customer - Ummmmmmmm, i've got a letter from the clinic saying i'm pregnant !

-

Calvin

11-05-2007, 06:33 PM

Loads

Customer - How much are your Carling ?

Me - 8 for £6

Customer - It's only 8 for £5 down the road.

Me - Well fuck off down the road and buy some then.

:lol:

Are you up for employee of the month :D

Sofie

11-05-2007, 07:05 PM

:lol: at Rubberskin's post!

lucifer devil

11-05-2007, 08:03 PM

when i'm standing/sitting behind the checkout and a customer approaches you and says 'are you serving?'. umm, i wouldn't be there just for the fun of it would i. :yeees:

i once had a customer say to me (when i was in full tesco uniform) "excuse me, do you work here". i looked down at my uniform and said "yes". fool!

RubberSkin

11-05-2007, 08:14 PM

i once had a customer say to me (when i was in full tesco uniform) "excuse me, do you work here". i looked down at my uniform and said.........

No, i'm an escaped mental patient and i've just put anthrax in the pic 'n' mix :D

kangoo

11-05-2007, 08:47 PM

when i'm standing/sitting behind the checkout and a customer approaches you and says 'are you serving?'.

Aaaaaaarghhhh that used to drive me mad when I worked on a checkout. Along with (when it was quiet) "Oooh are you waiting for me!" Yes. Yes I'm sitting here just waiting for you, and now you're here! Thank god, I can go home now :rolleyes:

Working in a bar isn't much better. I get these alot

At half 7:
Customer: What time do you stop serving food
Me: 7
Customer: So we can't have food then?
Me: No, sorry
Customer: Oh not even a sandwich?
Me: No sorry the kitchen is closed. We sell bar snacks though
Customer: Ah but I really wanted a sandwich...
WE'RE NOT SERVING FOOD ANYMORE GET OVER IT!

Also at closing time, after the two bells have rung there's always some eejit who comes to the bar
Customer: Can I have...
Me: NO! We've stopped serving
Customer: Aww go on just for me
Me: Sorry, the tills have gone to be counted
Customer: Ah can't I just have a packet of crisps?
:banghead:

Argh customers are sooooo stupid

piccolo

11-05-2007, 09:13 PM

Me : Bookshop on Something Street, history department.
Customer: Oh, hello, is that Bookshop on Something Street?
M: Yes.
C: So can you help me buy a book?
M: Yes.
C: OK, it's called "Title and Subtitle" and it's by Professor Blah
M: I'm sorry, that's out of print.
C: Oh. Will Foyle's have it?
M: No. It's out of print in the UK; that means it's not available.
C: Oh. What about Amazon?
M: They may have a second-hand copy.
C: But I want a new copy. Will they ahve a new copy.
M: No. It's out of print.
C: So I can't order it then?

That's a very regular exchange.
As is this;

M: Can I help?
C: Yes. I used to have a history book on Britain but I lent it to someone and I need to get a new copy.
M: OK, sure. Do you know the title of the book?
C: Well, no, actually.
M: OK, well no worries. How about the author?
C: I'm not sure.
M: Any words in the title?
C: Britain, I think. Can you just put "Britain" into the computer?
M: I'm afraid that won't narrow it down.
C: Oh. Well it was yellow.
...and so it goes on.

C: (seeing me up a ladder with an armful of books at a very precarious angle) Excuse me?
M: (almost dropping the books) Yes?
C: Do you work here?

Lu_C

11-05-2007, 09:27 PM

:lol: at all the posts.

I haven't really come across much stupidity... yet.
There was one woman who wanted a different size in a pair of trousers, and we didn't have one in store so she asked if I could ring another store, which I did, but they didn't have any at all there... when I told her she just stood there like she was waiting for me to change my mind and miraculously make the right pair appear. :confused: I had to repeat that I couldn't help her about 5 times before she got the message and went away.

Franki

11-05-2007, 09:29 PM

I sit in booth 2, where the orders are taken when it's busy. Car drives up...

Customer: do I order here?
Me: No, I'm just sitting in here doing nothing for the sheer hell of it :yeees:.

Jaloux

12-05-2007, 10:11 PM

I hate it when people ask "Do you speak English?" at work. :grump: I know I shouldn't but it pisses me off. I wouldn't even get a job at a tourist shop here if I couldn't speak the langauge.
Then the DANISH come and assume I understand them speaking Danish. :| I sort of do but I always feel pissed off anyway.
Does that make me a hypocrite??

I get a lot of weird questions, but since it's foreigners that are asking me them I usually don't mind. They're also polite for the most part. A large amount of Icelanders piss me off, however. Stupid, rude and whiney prats.

Also, I've not had a SINGLE woman in a fur coat come in the shop and not whine about prices. I always get the feeling that they made their middle class husbands spend the equivalence of six months' wages on the damn thing just to appease them. I wish I was exaggerating but, I've been waiting for one to come and disprove my theory for the past two years. No luck.
I deal with a lot of genuinely rich people (Cameron Diaz once dropped by) and the majority are polite and pleasant. The fur coat ladies are always Icelandic and always vermin.

Infinite Part Deux

12-05-2007, 11:34 PM

Me (tour guide): Holyrood Palace is the Queen's offical residence in Scotland and she's stays there for two weeks every summer.

Tourist: Does the Palace have a roof?

"Why'd they build the castle so close to the shops?"

I was never ever asked "what time does the one o'clock gun fire?", which makes me a bit sad because it's all most a rite of passage :(

Big Gay

13-05-2007, 01:04 AM

M: They may have a second-hand copy.
C: But I want a new copy. Will they ahve a new copy.
M: No. It's out of print.

Don't amazon have some microprinting facilities?

Big Gay

13-05-2007, 01:09 AM

having made the mistake of going to B&Q in a red T-shirt (RED, not orange you morons) I think its a good idea for people to ask if you work there before asking...

for a while vodaphone had a bug in one of their 0800 numbers, which meant customers would occasionally come through to my home phone. I had people INSIST on giving me their creditcard number

stargalaxy

13-05-2007, 02:13 AM

Far too many to mention. The most recent was this week. I was on cash desk duty, handing out change to the customers. There is a clear sign in front of the desk, saying "Cash Desk" in order to clear up any confusion. So, what does the customer ask me, "excuse me, is this the cash desk?". If there was an award for stupidity, that one would take the prize.

This would come a close second. Last year, I worked in a shop, and this guy came in wanting to buy an 8-pack of Fosters. Clearly, a man with no taste. I was unsure of his age, so therefore, I asked him for ID. His reply was "but I've only just arrived on the park today, so I'm exempt. I can show it to you tomorrow if you like.". I don't know what was more stupid - him asking if he could provide it the next day, or him thinking we'd actually fall for such a line.

FireyFirenze

13-05-2007, 02:37 PM

when i'm standing/sitting behind the checkout and a customer approaches you and says 'are you serving?'. umm, i wouldn't be there just for the fun of it would i. :yeees:

omg i hate that too! sometimes i feel like saying 'no' just for the sake of it, why would i be standing there if i wasnt serving?!

i work on the self scan tills sometimes and the sheer amount of thick people is unbelievable. there was this woman last week who kept referring to the till as a 'she' (because it has a womans voice) she shouted me about ten times like 'excuse me, shes said the wrong price for these beans' 'excuse me, shes not scanning this for me' its a friggin computer not a real person!

also last week a man said to me 'excuse me, do you sell cans with beans in?' i was with my friend and i nearly burst out laughing, i thought they were joking. but sadly not.

go_away

13-05-2007, 02:56 PM

It's not so much stupidity, as opposed to being in a new situation but I thought I'd share.

Client's partner: Can I see my girlfriend?
Me: No, we don't allow men up on the wards *explaining why*
2 minutes later:
Partner: Can I go up and see her?
Me: Like I said, I'm sorry, but you can't go up
Partner: How is she?
Me: *goes up to find out* The nurse said she's fine, still a bit groggy so she's sleeping for now. When she wakes up she said she'd ring me.
Partner: When can I go and see her?
Me: I can't let you go up there I'm afraid
Partner: Can you go and check again?
Me: *after going up again* She's still asleep. Once she has woken up the nurse will see how she's doing and give her something to eat
Partner: So when can I go up?
Me: Sir (don't know why I'm saying sir as the guy is 16), I have already explained that we don't allow men onto the wards. I'm afraid you will just have to wait. Would you like to wait in another room where there's a tv and it's a bit more comfortable?
Partner: No, I'm ok here. Is there any way I can go up and see her?

Partner (after seeing his partner upset at finding out the pregnancy is a twin pregnancy): Does this mean we have to pay double?

Young girl approaching the desk: Hi, I have... an appointment
Me: Ok, let me just find you on the computer. Are you here to have an operation today, or just see the doctor?
Shy girl: I'm here to have an abortion
Shy girl's mother: *Loudly* Come on how sweetheart, I think we all know what you're here for. Speak up a bit so the lady can hear you

Replicant

13-05-2007, 03:18 PM

In a shop, we had a sale on.

box A is full of hats, has a sign on it, clearly saying "hats £x"

box B is full of t-shirts, has a sign on it, clearly saying "t-shirts £y" they're cheaper than the hats.

someone comes over to the till, having picked up a hat. I say "that's x pounds please"

customer "but it says £y on the box..." (having obviously found a hat in the wrong box)

I had to spend ages explaining that the sign said HATS £ x and that it was irrelevant which box they got it from. :eek2: they stormed off in a strop going on about false advertising after a while. idiot.

Lacy

13-05-2007, 03:23 PM

Franki

13-05-2007, 03:38 PM

I thought by law if say it's under a certain price it has to be sold for that?

:yes:.

I once got a video for free because it went through the till at a different price to what the sticker said :hyper:.

Replicant

13-05-2007, 03:38 PM

yeah I know what you mean, but "HATS £ x" was literally the only thing on the sign. I can understand how that'd be confusing to someone stupid, but it was obviously in the wrong box :lol:

in fact, the signs were repeated on the wall in front of the customer at eye level too :eek2: it's not like it said "things in this box, £ x". I'd understand that being wrong!

kangoo

13-05-2007, 03:43 PM

I don't think it matters if it says Hats x£ - the customer might not have been able to read and understand the word hats :p

I thought by law if say it's under a certain price it has to be sold for that?

Yeah if it said 'hats £x' and they tried to charge a different amount thats different. If the customer can't read thats their own problem, the shop has done their bit. Thats like saying if someone puts a can of heinz beans on the tesco value shelf then you can have that can for the value price. No you can't because it will say on the shelf how much each is. Its not false advertising if its in the wrong place

_guest

13-05-2007, 04:41 PM

Young girl approaching the desk: Hi, I have... an appointment
Me: Ok, let me just find you on the computer. Are you here to have an operation today, or just see the doctor?
Shy girl: I'm here to have an abortion
Shy girl's mother: *Loudly* Come on how sweetheart, I think we all know what you're here for. Speak up a bit so the lady can hear you

How awful :(

girl with sharp teeth

13-05-2007, 05:11 PM

I thought by law if say it's under a certain price it has to be sold for that? No, the shop does not have to honour it, but most do as a gesture of good will. In legalese, the advertised price is just an invitation to treat, theres no binding contract until you've actually bought the goods.

FireFly85

13-05-2007, 05:15 PM

:yes:.

I once got a video for free because it went through the till at a different price to what the sticker said :hyper:.

I think actually its a common misconception that the shop legally has to give you something for a certain price if it is marked up at that price, all to do with contracts or something and the contract between you and the shop only being created when there has been an offer and acceptance of the contract, ie. you've already paid and they've already given you the item. Taking the item to the till doesn't constitute a legally binding contract so they can charge whatever they want because you don't have to pay it, most shops will honour the price though just to keep the customer happy.

Stupid things customers have said in my time as a sales assistant:

American customer: Why don't you have dollars over here? It would be so much easier if you just took dollars

Me: The spoon is in the lid
Customer: Thanks, where is the spoon?

14-05-2007, 03:28 AM

theres no binding contract until you've actually bought the goods.

so what if you actually pay for the goods and start walking away? is it yours?

cocoonrecs

14-05-2007, 09:19 AM

so what if you actually pay for the goods and start walking away? is it yours?

Yep.

girl with sharp teeth

14-05-2007, 10:44 AM

luvmeright

14-05-2007, 10:53 AM

ive worked in a couple of shops now and ive never had people ask me such dumb questions

ShyBoy

14-05-2007, 11:29 AM

Aye, they've accepted your offer.

I always wonder this. If they make a mistake and you end up paying less than you should, is it fraudulent to say nothing? As a habit I tend to let them know. But if it was like a HD tv and they undercharged me by £200 for whatever reason, I'd be tempted not to say anything and play the ignorance card.

Sorry if I'm hijacking the thread. : As for stupid customers, I broke down laughing when this short angry looking bald body builder type man was holding groceries with everypart of his anatomy and was running around looking for a basket. I left him to it lol. Though the old ladies are dears and I go and fetch them one if they need it.

Can talk for England though.

foxysoxy

14-05-2007, 11:52 AM

Another one:

*picks up phone*
Me: Hello, *******'s, how can I help you?
Customer: Hi, do you deliver?
Me: Nah, sorry we dont. Do you still want to order?
Customer: But you did last week
Me: Errrr, i dont think so, we've never had a delivery service
Customer: So do you know who does?
Me: No
Customer:So your not gonna tell me then? Silly cow *hangs up*

I was fumin over that damn phone call- how are you gonna call me a silly bitch for not being a fuckin yellow pages and knowing the name and number of every delivering Chinese takeaway in Tottenham?

Another thing that annoys me is when people sit and eat half their meal on the little bench we have for waiting. It's a TAKEAWAY....your supposed to TAKE IT AWAY. Flippin idiots.

piccolo

14-05-2007, 12:47 PM

Oooh I remember one from when I was in a charity shop; a customer who clearly didn't fully get the concept.

C: Do you have any beanie babies?
M: There aren't any out, I'll just see if any are waiting to go onto the shop floor.
....
M: No, sorry, we don't have any at all.
C: When will you be getting some in?

piccolo

14-05-2007, 12:52 PM

And another charity shop classic;

C: Do you have any size 14, black trousers?
M: Let me check the rail.
....
M: It doesn't seem like we do; there might be some waiting to be priced, bear with me.
...
M: I'm afraid we don't, no.
C: Don't you have any in the back?
M: I don't know, the clothes out there haven't been sorted.
C: Will you go and check?
[I explain the situation and sheer mountain of clothes that need sorting]
C: So they are being sorted? So if there are any, they'll be out there?
M: Yes, but they aren't accessible.
[Cue long, circular discussion]

In the end I showed her the back room full of bin liners of clothes. She shut up.

kangoo

14-05-2007, 02:00 PM

Oh god I had the most idiotic customer yesterday

C: Packet of peanuts please
M : £1 please
C: *holds out card*
M: sorry we don't take cards under £5
C: WHAT?! *outraged*
M: actually a lot of bars have this rule *under breath* its to stop idiots like you trying to pay for a packet of peanuts with their card

Customer, umming and ahhing, spends about 5 minutes adding stuff she doesn't really want to take it up to £5. Finally I take her card. It has a mans name on it and she has boobs. Check with manager that I am right to decline card on the basis that it clearly doesn't belong to her. Walk over to explain that she can't use it but notice that she is increadibly manly. Oh god what if it IS her card?! Not sure what to say, finally I venture "who's card is this?". She answers its her fiancees. A likely story since her and her lesbox friend have been all over each other all night. By this time I am laughing my tits off and tell her she can't use it. She says ok thats fine she'll just go borrow some money off her friend to pay for the stuff :eek2: WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST DO THAT IN THE FIRST PLACE FOR THE £1 BAG OF PEANUTS YOU FOOL!? :lol:

ShyBoy

14-05-2007, 04:36 PM

Another thing that annoys me is when people sit and eat half their meal on the little bench we have for waiting. It's a TAKEAWAY....your supposed to TAKE IT AWAY. Flippin idiots.

:D

Loopi

14-05-2007, 04:54 PM

I used to work in Poundland. Naturally, the idiotic teenagers asking the price of things is to be expected. When the half price sale is on though, you don't expect people to genuinely ask what the price of stuff is, yet how often it happened. Clearly there are a lot of thick twats about.

When I worked in a call centre people used to struggle with the concept of 'temporarily out of stock' and 'permanently out of stock'. "So, when will you be getting more in?" was the standard follow up to both statements. They also struggled to understand that all the charity magazines that had the same fucking products were run by the same fucking company and so if they were out of stock with one charity then they were going to be out of stock with another. I could talk to the same people three times in the space of 10 minutes and strangely enough the product was out of stock with all fucking three charity mags.

I'm With Stupid

14-05-2007, 05:35 PM

We had an anti-BNP group in celebrating last night, and one kept going on about the "fascist twats" at the BNP. I agree with him, but it was pissing me right off, because he blatantly didn't have a clue, and was trying to get me into a political discussion. He seemed positively surprised when I explained to him the flaw in his question "do you like black people?"

Sofie

14-05-2007, 05:39 PM

stargalaxy

14-05-2007, 05:58 PM

Don't most shops have this rule as well? Yes. Whenever anyone pays for something on a credit or debit card, the company that processes the payments takes a fee, and the bank makes some money out of it as well, I believe. I'm not entirely sure where the exact £5 limit originates. As far as I'm aware, the fees do not add up to a fiver. Also, the shop does not have immediate access to your money. It's withdrawn from your account immediately, and the bank holds onto it to make sure everything is above board before giving the shop the money, post-deduction of fees.

Calvin

14-05-2007, 06:08 PM

Don't most shops have this rule as well?

:no:

The £5 limit only really applies to small pubs and shops. Tesco's and pub chains will let you pay on debit/credit card for any amount.

There is a new system due to start in London this autumn. Whereby if your bill is less than £10 you can just touch your debit/credit card over a sensor (bit like the Oyster system) and it will debit your card without the need for a signature or pin number. This system will roll out around the UK at the end of the year I believe.

:thumb:

Draugen

14-05-2007, 09:02 PM

Ahhh, stupid customers, I deal with so many on a daily basis that if I didn't laugh, I'd never stop crying! I'm a Subway franchisee and while the majority of our customers love the food and know exactly how to order etc, there are always plenty who refuse to differentiate between Subway and your average sandwich shop and get horribly confused and arsey over each question you ask them.

Some favourites we get on a daily basis:

"What's the difference between the Six-inch and the Footlong?"

"How big's the Footlong?"

"Which bread would you like?"
"I'm not fussed, just give me any"
"How about Italian Herbs and Cheese?"
"But I don't like cheese!"

Can I have the Chicken and Bacon without the bacon??

"Would you like that toasted?"
"What do you mean?"
(we seriously get asked this a lot)

"Which salads would you like?"
"Salad"
"A bit of everything then?"
"No, just salad"

or

"I'll have everything please"
then when we start putting everything on...
"er, I didn't want any of those"

There are plenty more, but half of them are only funny to those who have ever worked in Subway and also the list is rather a long one!

Calvin

14-05-2007, 09:25 PM

Just to start my ranting off because I should really be preparing a presentation on flight controls..

Ah getting to grips with the finer details of a up/down gearstick :p

I'm joking of course. Having seen how many bells and whistles are in the cockpit I wouldn't have a clue. :D

RubberSkin

14-05-2007, 09:32 PM

Having seen how many bells and whistles are in the cockpit I wouldn't have a clue. :D

There's bells and whistles in a vagina ?

Indrid Cold

14-05-2007, 09:44 PM

Am working on the theory that the people I'm giving the presentation to, won't really know what I'm on about so can't argue.. but that leaves the problem that they'll sit looking at me bemused :nervous:
"...and this is the button to press in case we fall in the ocean and are about to die, and the plane will turn into a boat. They never use it though, the electricity cost is too high".

Jarvey Of Suburbia

14-05-2007, 09:53 PM

Have You people never been a customer?? So what if they asked You if You worked here You get paid ffs.

RubberSkin

14-05-2007, 10:01 PM

Draugen

14-05-2007, 10:04 PM

Have You people never been a customer?? So what if they asked You if You worked here You get paid ffs.

That still doesn't make the customers any less stupid.

O_o

14-05-2007, 10:11 PM

i used to get in trouble off management alot for being sarcastic and patronising when asked stupid questions.

can't remember any funny comments at the moment tho :(

Whowhere

15-05-2007, 07:42 AM

99% of the people I deal with are idiots.

Member of public:Are you going to put a parking ticket on that car?
Me:No, i'm not a traffic warden
MOP:So, are they going to get a ticket?
me:No, like I said i'm not a traffic warden, I don't issue parking tickets
MOP:So, why don't you ask them to move
Me:Because I'm not a fucking warden, FUCK OFF.

Or at road blocks, where I've deliberately put my van across 2 lanes of road
MOP:What's happened?
Me:Accident
MOP:Can i get through?
Me:No, road's blocked
MOP:Tries to drive around anyway
Me:THE ROAD IS FUCKING BLOCKED
MOP:Sorry, I didnt realise

Then you get the people whining at you about how late they're going to be, despite being told that there are 3 cars worth of debris and carnage all over the road.

Sofie

15-05-2007, 08:22 AM

Are you lot being serious? Or do you just deal with some idiots? :confused:

RubberSkin

15-05-2007, 09:39 AM

Are you lot being serious? Or do you just deal with some idiots? :confused:

We are being serious and no they're not idiots, they're called the general public :D

Littleali

15-05-2007, 11:13 AM

when i'm standing/sitting behind the checkout and a customer approaches you and says 'are you serving?'. umm, i wouldn't be there just for the fun of it would i. :yeees:

in all fairness though, the amount of times i've gone to a till only to be told "sorry, i'm not serving now, i'm just waiting to cash up" is unreal......

or "can you use the other till please"

anyhoo, to the OP

Customer: 10 Lambert Please
Me: You got any ID?
Customer: Me?
Me: Yes, do you have any?
Customer: I need ID?

well, yes, or I wouldnt have asked

Customer: Can I have 2 Lucky Dips?
Me: There U go....*hand over lucky dips*
Customer: I wanted them seperate

Being Psychic ISN'T in my job description

Customer: Are these bottles of coke 2 for £1.20

Yes, hence there being a big massive sign saying so right in front of them

piccolo

15-05-2007, 11:27 AM

Have You people never been a customer?? So what if they asked You if You worked here You get paid ffs.
Granted. But it just makes me giggle. I don't mind being asked if I work there it's just when it's blatantly obvious I do, I wonder if someone couldn't have more imagination as a conversation opener.

O_o

15-05-2007, 12:47 PM

customer : do you have any shirts in my neck size?
me : yeh, probably, what size are you
customer : i don't know.

well how am i supposed to know if you don't?

haha, i love the "do you work here" line.

i've had it when i've been stood at the top of a ladder with a pile of clothes over my arm

JsT

15-05-2007, 01:29 PM

I've had so many where you tell them something they just repeat it like your stupid.

Moron: "I want to rent a car."
Me: "OK, any ideas where or when you want to rent?"
Moron: "No."

duhhhh

Kaff

15-05-2007, 02:53 PM

I didn't realise what complete and utter fucking idiots the vast majority of the public are until I got a job working in customer service.

Highlights:

- a man who did not know his date of birth. We thought it was a fraudster trying his luck, but after further checks it emerged that he was actually just an utter dunce.

- a woman who refused to answer any security questions, screamed, 'NOSY BITCH!' at me and slammed down the phone.

- Could I take your card number please?
Is that the long number on my card?
:yes:

- a man who did not accept that when he used his credit card to pay for things, he would have to pay the money back, and insisted that his bank manager had given him it as a gift. :thumb:

Happy times.

Scary Monster

15-05-2007, 03:33 PM

We've got in house customers for our current project at work, who are just down the corridoor from us.

They've just tried to tell us we can't have any of the information we've asked for until tomorrow because so and so isn't in today.

It's a shame we can see him sitting in his office every time we walk down the corridoor.....

If you're going to lie, at least make it convincing!

foxysoxy

15-05-2007, 03:46 PM

When I worked in Cineworld, I had a customer ask me "Whats the difference between the cheese & salsa nachos and the normal ones"

Errrrm.....the cheese and salsa maybe?

Also, this wasn't my customer, but when I was in Borders, I did hear this guy ask for an exchange on his book on Dinosaurs. As usual, the checkout guy (really cute) asked: "Was there anything wrong with it?".
The guy said "Oh, its all drawings of dinosaurs, I wanted photographs".
Me and the checkout guy both looked at each other and tried not to laugh.I kind of felt bad...didn't know wether to explain that cameras werent invented at the dawn of time or just leave him..

katchika

15-05-2007, 03:55 PM

I'm so glad I don't work in a pub or bar anymore.

Why do blokes think it is so hilarious to say: "can I have a carling, darling?" :mad: :rolleyes: ..as if they are the only person to have ever been original enough to think of it.

"Keep the change luv"..and it's a 2p piece.

Moaning about the price of drinks. It's not as though I set them myself.

Draugen

15-05-2007, 05:24 PM

An absolute classic from today:

"Are the meatballs vegetarian?"
"No, I'm afraid they aren't"
"Well why not?"

Er, because of the tiny little fact that they are MEATballs. I'm even a vegetarian myself and this annoyed the hell out of me!

Franki

15-05-2007, 06:07 PM

Or at road blocks, where I've deliberately put my van across 2 lanes of road
MOP:What's happened?
Me:Accident
MOP:Can i get through?
Me:No, road's blocked
MOP:Tries to drive around anyway
Me:THE ROAD IS FUCKING BLOCKED
MOP:Sorry, I didnt realise

There was an accident down my road yesterday and some woman tried to get past the police car blocking the road. She got a nice big blast from the (very pissed off looking) police woman's horn. I lol-ed ;d.

katralla

15-05-2007, 07:16 PM

:no:

The £5 limit only really applies to small pubs and shops. Tesco's and pub chains will let you pay on debit/credit card for any amount.

There is a new system due to start in London this autumn. Whereby if your bill is less than £10 you can just touch your debit/credit card over a sensor (bit like the Oyster system) and it will debit your card without the need for a signature or pin number. This system will roll out around the UK at the end of the year I believe.

:thumb:

we used to have this on our self-serve tills at the mini tesco, just swipe and go, no pin or sig. always used to make me laugh because there was no protection, they've fitted pin machines to them now.

Kiezo

15-05-2007, 09:15 PM

"Do you work here?" - Despite the fact I'm wearing the store uniform. Naw hen, I just thought this was fashionable.

"See at the fitting room, are you allowed to try stuff on?" - What the FUCK else are you going to do there?

"Do you sell such a thing as slippers?"

"Do you sell, like, I don't know how to explain this. Photoframes without the photos you get in them already?"
"Uh, you know they're just generic bits of card you can take out, right...?"
"Oh, I didn't think of that."

"Do you have a toilet in here?"
"Only an employee one."
"*looking frustrated* So where do you guys go?"
"...the employee one?"

"Hi son, are these collar sizes in inches?" - (Despite the fact it has the inches sign beside the number)
"Yes."
"How do I find out what size I am then?"
"You need to phone up Derren Brown, like. Noone else will be able to tell you."
"Does he work here? Can you get him for me?"
"..."

EDIT: Someone had a customer in the other day trying to buy a hood from a jacket that was lying on the floor because it was raining out. Not a hat, not the full jacket, just a hood.

FireyFirenze

15-05-2007, 10:43 PM

EDIT: Someone had a customer in the other day trying to buy a hood from a jacket that was lying on the floor because it was raining out. Not a hat, not the full jacket, just a hood.

that made me laugh a lot :D

just a hood! friggin weirdos. what were they gonna walk round wearing just a random hood? i cant get over it. haha.

tonight i was so stressed with stupid fuckin customers. this woman kept ringing up asking for the number to Asda House (the big headquarters) so I gave it her. Then she rang back saying i'd given her the wrong number, so i gave her the exact same number. Then she rang back 15 minutes later wanting to know why nobody was answering the phone. i was like...IM IN MANCHESTER, Asda house is in Leeds, how do I know why they're not answering the phone?! im not a mindreader!

rant over.

edn1

15-05-2007, 11:53 PM

What goes on inside the mind of these stupid customers that's what I'd like to know, really i would because it goes beyond words trying to describe just how annoying they get.

When someone asks me for a trainer in say a size 7 and i respond saying not only do i not have a size 7 but i only have a size 10 left, do they then ask for the size 7 again, or better still they'll keep repeating " So you don't have a size 7 then ? " .. " No i only have size 10 no other sizes left " .. " so no size 7's left then ? " ..

What's it all about !? Seriously !

Jarvey said something about " Have you never been the customer ? " It's because of my retail experience and knowledge that i know what it's like when i AM the customer.

The other thing i come across a fair bit is customers who are just downright rude for no reason whatsoever, had one just 2 days ago and one a few days before that and I'd already served him two weeks before !

Why do people think it's ok to walk into a shop and talk to you like your shit on their shoe ?

That's why it's always nice to find someone who's friendly and talkatibe and who praises you for what you have to put up with, i even come across people like that.

The world of dealing with everyday human beings eh.

ShyBoy

16-05-2007, 01:02 AM

Franki

16-05-2007, 09:43 AM

Thing is, customers are the ones paying and staff are the ones getting paid. When you get an arsey member of staff who replies like you're stupid when you ask a simple question it makes me hope they get sacked.

But that's different. If it's a genuine question then fine, but if it's something really stupid and obvious then it's just stupid.

The thing I hate most is the people that have a go at ME because their food isn't ready THATINSTANT or because we've not got something. It's not my fault, so stop having a go at me :|. I really don't like rude people. There's a load of Irish guys that come in every so often, all quite large, and order about 5 large meals between them. They pay, and then they say "We're going to sit down, you'll bring it over, yeh?". That really pisses me off. I'm not a waitress. If you're food wasn't already ready, I would be happy to do that, but they can't be arsed to wait for another 2 minutes while I get their order ready.

Blah.

*Snow White Queen*

16-05-2007, 09:51 AM

Haha, this thread has made me giggle.

Mc'Donalds has definately got to be the place I've worked at thats had the worst customers. I got pea-shooted at and everything :( ANNNDDD stupid little emo kids just came in and ate sugar and ripped up napkins. Oh how I enjoyed kicking people out :D

RubberSkin

16-05-2007, 10:04 AM

It's not my fault, so stop having a go at me

Exactly. People can be complete cunts to shop staff.

It's not MY fault the Carling here is 8 for £6 when it's 8 for £5 down the road. It's not MY fault that the comapny's run by twats and they haven't got the money to get the B&H out of the bonded warehouse. It's not MY fault that we haven't got any change because the company's so tight they give us a £100 float of change.

And you wonder why people, who go on and on and on every fucking time they walk in the shop, continue to shop there. If it's so fucking bad then FUCKING SHOP SOMEWHERE ELSE.

:D

Franki

16-05-2007, 10:07 AM

And you wonder why people, who go on and on and on every fucking time they walk in the shop, continue to shop there. If it's so fucking bad then FUCKING SHOP SOMEWHERE ELSE.

:D

Exactly. KFC is next door, why don't you go there instead you cocks :grump:.

Lu_C

16-05-2007, 11:46 AM

I wonder how many of these stupid customers are mystery shoppers getting their own back because they once were on the recieving end and it drove them mad. :chin:

I've just remembered about one woman who was looking at a sale rail and some of the clothes didnt have sale stickers on them. She asked me how much they were and I explained that they were probably full-price items that people had moved. (That really annoys me, customers picking up stuff, carrying it halfway across the shop and then just dumping it... even worse is when they put it on the rail NEXT to the one they picked it up from :rolleyes: ). Anyway, I told this woman I'd do a price check for her... went to the till, came back to tell her they were all full price. She started mouthing off about it, so I explained again that they must just have been moved by someone, and that they didn't have any sale stickers on them. She made me price check them AGAIN and in the end I asked her if she wanted to speak to the manager cos she just wouldn't drop it and I was already running over my shift time by 10 minutes. :mad:

ShyBoy

16-05-2007, 12:23 PM

I've had rude customers before who tutted at me or something. There was one woman who told me there was some sugar spilt on the next aisle so I should go clean it u (in an ordering way). But who am I to argue, someones got to clean it up!

So I got a dustan and brush, thinking it was just a bit as the sguar aisle is notorious. Then she says 'oh thats a bit pathetic!' and follows me to the mess and starts saying hwhat I'm doing wrong. Her boyfriend told her to leave me alone :p

Time of the month, probably. As a customer thuogh, was in KFC, made an order, she gave me my sandwich and said my girlfriends salad would be a few minutes. Ok. So she starts serving other people without telling us where to wait, so we get squished to the side and feel right plonkers. After a minute there are no customers so she rings a garage about her car! 5 minutes after the initial order we're still waiting, she's just standing about, would be nice of her to check our order. Of course, we're terribly English so don't complain. Then she says they have no large salad bowls so we have to have two small ones - fine, we just want the order!

My girlfriend didn't mind that much, but having worked in a retail position I am quite critical of poor customer service, or when they have an attitude with customers.

And I do prefer to pay with card cos it's more convenient than lugging cash everywhere ;). Can't wait for that new thing where you can just swipe your card!

1983

16-05-2007, 12:38 PM

you take a lime and a coconut

kangoo

16-05-2007, 01:37 PM

Then they go - oh you don't have a fiver?

I get that all the time! You give them the change and they look at you like you're mad. This man was really rude once when I gave him change. He looked really annoyed and went 'Err whats all this? Have you not got any fivers?' in a really mean way. I just said 'Well clearly not or I would have given you one' and rolled my eyes. He was in a mega huff and all the bar staff were standing there laughing at him :D

beckillas

16-05-2007, 03:31 PM

When i worked in dear old lidl i used i get the same guy asking me if it was alright to use a £50 note and one morning i just open up and he wanted to pay for something which under a £5 so i ask if he poss had anything smaller or it would use up all my notes... lets just say he wasnt nice! lol

and i once had someone pay for a 3p bag on their card!

Indrid Cold

16-05-2007, 04:11 PM

Oooo oooo another thing that really really hacks me off - when people pay for a cup of tea with a £20 note, and if they're really lucky I might have a £10 note but the rest ends up in change

Then they go - oh you don't have a fiver?

Well actually sir, yes, yes I do, but I thought I would inconvenience myself by counting out £8 in change - but hang on while I get them to pull up next to this cloud and I'll jump off and run to the bank for you :banghead:
tbh, I think that's just a rhetoric question, like "Oh, you're here?" or "Are you awake?".

Monserrat

16-05-2007, 04:16 PM

Sofie

16-05-2007, 04:35 PM

oh you don't have a fiver?

I've never done this. I went into a shop one time and paid for something and the change was about a fiver and the shop keeper apologised because there were no fivers and had to gve me £2 & £1 coins.

Franki

16-05-2007, 04:38 PM

I've never done this. I went into a shop one time and paid for something and the change was about a fiver and the shop keeper apologised because there were no fivers and had to gve me £2 & £1 coins.
:yes: I always apologise if we have no fivers, especially if I've just had my till changed.

Nikki*

17-05-2007, 12:27 PM

Oh god customers....

Them: Can I pay for this with my Boots points please?
Me: Yeah that's fine if you have enough *takes the Boots card*
Me: Sorry, I'm afraid you only have £3.68 on your card
Them: Yes that's fine.
Me: What you're buying comes to £3.70.
Them: Oh well I'll just give you the 2p then
Me: Sorry, we can't accept part payment with points
Them: Oh well, take it off my Boots card then.
Me: ..... I can't. You don't have enough.
Them: It's only 2p!!!

Yes I'm aware it's only 2p. But do you REALLY think the till is going to say "Oh it's 2p, I'll let them off". No. It wont. (By the way, I know the part payment thing is a stupid rule, but I can't change it obviously)

I had a great one the other week though....

Them: Excuse me?
Me: Yes, is there a problem?
Them: How long can I keep suncream for?
Me: Erm, well there's a recommended guideline on the bottle.
Them: No there isn't.
Me: There should be, like this one *shows them*
Them: Well there isn't one on mine.... I want to complain.
Me: Well when did you buy it?
Them: I WANT TO SPEAK TO YOUR MANAGER
Me: Ok ok, that's fine but she's going to want to know when you bought it from us
Them: Well, when I went to Florida
Me: Which was when?
Them: July 2000
Me: Well.... yes, I'm pretty sure it'll need replacing by now.

_guest

17-05-2007, 12:33 PM

I always ask at the checkout whether the person is still serving or not, I didn't realise it was so irritating. It comes from there having been too many occasions when I've started unloading onto the conveyor belt only for them to bark "I'm not serving anymore" at you like you're something they scraped off their shoe.

When I used to waitress I hated the people who ate 95% of their meal and then complained that it was inedible. When I worked in M&S they still had their ridiculous returns policy which meant that people returned nighties they'd been given on Christmas Day '75 and others would scrat around in charity shops and bring in jackets from 1915 that had a hole in the arm. "I'm sorry, that is coming up on the till as having a nominal value of 1p as it is over 35 years old" didn't seem to wash with them, the amount of people who would complain and complain until they got £50 of credit vouchers for a suit jacket they'd just accquired from the Marie Curie shop was unbelievable...

Scary Monster

17-05-2007, 12:57 PM

soraliah

17-05-2007, 01:24 PM

To just make it clear - I do ask these people if they have anything smaller because I have no notes for them and just about get on the floor to beg for their change.. and yet they still ask

i like getting given change in coins! .. usually :yes:
i collect 2 pound coins so when i give a big note to the checkout theres always part of me that hopes theyve run out of notes ;)

generally when im buying something small i TRY and use small change for it tho!! i dont like to give people large amounts of coppers though!
i can imagine how that can get very tedious when counting up :chin:

Mr Orange

17-05-2007, 02:03 PM

I work on a helpdesk taking calls from computer users.

I had one customer recently who couldn't hear sound on her PC. Checked everything in the control panel etc. Guess what? Her speakers were unplugged from the power! Arrgh. I think that people should get a computer license and just get to grips a little. It's the same with a car license. A little knowledge on hazard perception helps!

Also, people who get reinfected from spyware. They should learn not to install Comet Cursors when they did it first time round!!

Oh don't start me off on having to take calls from computer users, how/why are so many half wits ou there!

I have at least one idiot a day who rings up for help then proceeds to talk over me while im explaining what to do, with what it is he thinks he should be doing, then he gets arsey when it doesn't work so i have to explain it again, and he talks over me again then asks questions that i've just explained the fking answer to!!!! :grump: :impissed:

I find that i no longer stop myself from sighing down the phone to them any more.

And about your sound problem, i had the very same thing here, with the Managing Director.

Ringing up moaning because he hadn't got sound, and he should have sound, upon investigation he had unplugged the speakers and forgot to plug them back in - This guy is supposed to be running the company! Fucking idiot.

Scary Monster

17-05-2007, 04:00 PM

Excuse me miss, I can't tie a double bow, what do I do?

Kate_342436

17-05-2007, 04:32 PM

I used to work in a saddlery, and then it was a lot of people that had horses and didn't seem to have half a clue about what they needed, particularly when it came to sizing. Bear in mind horse rugs go from about 3' all the way to 7'6 in 3" increments...

Customer: Excuse me, we need a rug.
Me: Ok, what type of rug?
Customer: I don't know, just a rug.
Me: well what's it for?
And so on
Me: Do you know what size you need?
Customer: No.
Me: How big's the horse?
Customer: about this big
And so on

Then because it was a warehouse type shop with tall shelves, there were lots of occaisions when I had to yell at customers to get the hell off the ladders before I knocked them off. The number that said "oh well I've almost got it." "No, no you haven't. Get off the ladders!"

We also had a sign in the changing room which said "CCTV in use", it was the only form of security in the place. "Is there really CCTV in here?" "Are people watching us getting changed?" etc etc :banghead:

Dobbin

17-05-2007, 04:53 PM

I had this the other day:

C: how much would 190 copies of this be? *shows me a single page of black text*
Me: that would be £x, madam.
C: i see. how much would 185 copies be?
Me: that would be £x
C: right. How much would 195 copies be?
Me: that would be £x. (bearing in mind the difference between the largest and smallest price is all of about a quid)
C: right. Do you know how much <rival company> charge?
Me: I'm afraid I don't, no.
C: ok, well i suppose I'll have to do it then

NEXT DAY

C: I had these done yesterday and I have been overcharged
Me: ok, let me just check the price for you... no, that was correct.
C: well, <rival company> would do it for a fiver (bearing in mind other company have higher expenses than us, that seems unlikely)
Me: I'm afraid I don't know about their prices. But I did quote you for this work and you were happy for me to proceed?
C: Well, I think it's ridiculous. That's one customer winging it's way out of your door right now!! *flounces out*

Loopi

17-05-2007, 05:05 PM

Me: Hello, telephone orders
Customer: Hi, I've just seen a bird in my back garden
Me: That's very nice madam. Would you like to place an order?
Customer: It's kind of a black and white colour, quite large ... etc etc
Me: Okay Madam. Did you want to place an order with us today?
Customer: What type of bird do you think it is? It's very unusual.
Me: Erm, I'm afraid I can't help you Madam. I'm just a call centre operative.
Customer: But don't you know about birds? Aren't you the RSPB?
Me: No Madam. We're just a trading company.
Customer: Well, my brochure says RSPB on it.
Me: That's correct. We're a trading company. We have lots of different charity catalogues. You actually need to call the RSPB Head Office.
Customer: But it says on this catalogue that you are the RSPB. Surely you must be able to tell me what type of bird it is. It's so pretty. Oh, oh, oh ..... oh dear, I thought it was going to fly off then. Stay little birdy. Don't go away. Good birdy.
Me: So would you like the number for the RSPB then?
Customer: So who are you?
Me: We're a trading company.
and on and on and on, with intermittent monologue about what the bird is actually doing and what she's fed it.

foxysoxy

17-05-2007, 05:21 PM

People are so flippin' cheeky! This woman called up last night (I work P/T at my boyf's mums chinese take away)

Me: ****** take away, how may I help you?
Customer:Hi, it's ****. Just wondering if you have a new chef?
Me: No, why?
Customer: The take away I just got is disgusting? There were no peppers either
Me: (Got my pad out) You ordered the chicken chow mein right? There arent any peppers in it anyway.
Customer: Well...whatever, there was no sauce and it was dry. It's horrible.
Me: Is it only horrible because it's got no sauce. Does it taste right though?
Cust: Yeah
Me: Okay, well bring it back down and we'll cook you another one
Customer: I've eaten it. Can you give me a free one next time?
Me: Errr...no. Sorry

WTF? I hate people trying to scam me!

**helen**

17-05-2007, 06:00 PM

I deal with a lot of genuinely rich people (Cameron Diaz once dropped by) and the majority are polite and pleasant. The fur coat ladies are always Icelandic and always vermin.

Interesting, a guy I was at college with told me that one sales job he had, they were taught a different sales technique depending the the nationality of the customers. Scary stuff :crazyeyes

Man Of Kent

17-05-2007, 06:27 PM

Remember guys, these people can vote :eek:

cocoonrecs

17-05-2007, 08:50 PM

Remember guys, these people can vote :eek:

:lol:

Hellfire

17-05-2007, 11:55 PM

WE get some right fucking nut jobs at the hotel.

Atm we have a crazy women with us for 2 weeks, on more than one ocassion she has phoned Reception and demanded for Maintaence to fix the bed side lights, even though I have gone to her room and shown her that there is a switch above her bed to turn them on, she then proceeds to say they're too dark in BROAD daylight and she cannot read, with the certains open and demands for 120W lightbulbs, (we use power saving lightbulbs as a Green policy)

A customer Arrived this morning (part of a conference) and asked for there room at 11AM, I proceeded to explain 11AM is check out time and 2PM is check in, he then demanded his room saying its 11AM and its check out time so why cant he get the key? I swear we was thinking backwards, finally he understood me and demanded we REMOVED said person from the room and clean it by half past 11 so he can enter the room.

I politely told him to shove it. well more of.. "I'm afraid we cannot do that, your room will be ready at 2, I made sure his room was ready last

The amount of guests who ask if the coutesy bus is "FREE" and if they can use it even if they're not GUESTS even though its called the "guest coutosey bus"

the amount of people who phone up saying they were told this amount by this person and so and so, they say a name of someone who doesn't even work here, lol idiots.

there are so many more :(

stargalaxy

18-05-2007, 12:24 AM

Oooo oooo another thing that really really hacks me off - when people pay for a cup of tea with a £20 note, and if they're really lucky I might have a £10 note but the rest ends up in change. Then they go - oh you don't have a fiver?I spent two seasons working for the shops at the Haven park. Our cash machines are often stuffed full of £20 notes. Because of the transation fees, a lot of people withdraw huge amounts of money in one go, meaning they've got nothing but twenties on them. This poses real problems for shops, and especially for the bars. The number of fivers and tenners that we went through in a single day is disturbingly high. The nightmare is worst in bars and pubs, where people often buy one or two drinks, price coming up to about £4, and paying with a £20. When one person does it, it's no problem. When everyone does it, you need a massive supply of smaller notes to compensate.

I decided one day last year to do a bit of research into this. I asked the Bank of England how many £5 notes are in circulation. They tell me there are around 220 million of them in circulation at any one time. They also keep 200 million in storage. The notes stay in ciruclation for one year at most, usually because they deteriorate in quality very quickly - people just don't look after their money when they've got it. It would suggest that there's just over three fivers for every person in the country. However, can you remember any occasion when you had three fivers in your wallet? Nope. I have one if I'm lucky. I don't mind carrying pound coins - they're far more useful to me than notes - but some people get really hacked off by it. The people who get pissed off are usually middle-aged men who can't be arsed to buy a wallet, who know that they'll lose the coins in their pockets.

The Bank of England also tell me that there just over one billion £20 notes in circulation. This is a year in which they're changing the old twenties for new ones, and changing a billion of them is an astronomical task. With there being so many twenties, this explains why, when you go to a cash machine, you often get nothing but twenties. There's a mix of reasons - shops are holding onto smaller notes where they can, and the banks have also been accused of hogging them. They all deny the charge, incidentally. Some seem to give out more tenners from their ATMs than others, suggesting they're rather stung by this criticism.

Anyway, just a bit of insight into the subject.

Calvin

18-05-2007, 12:27 AM

I decided one day last year to do a bit of research into this. I asked the Bank of England how many £5 notes are in circulation. They tell me there are around 220 million of them in circulation at any one time. They also keep 200 million in storage. The notes stay in ciruclation for one year at most, usually because they deteriorate in quality very quickly - people just don't look after their money when they've got it. It would suggest that there's just over three fivers for every person in the country. However, can you remember any occasion when you had three fivers in your wallet? Nope. I have one if I'm lucky. I don't mind carrying pound coins - they're far more useful to me than notes - but some people get really hacked off by it. The people who get pissed off are usually middle-aged men who can't be arsed to buy a wallet, who know that they'll lose the coins in their pockets.

They also told me that there just over one billion £20 notes in circulation. This is a year in which they're changing the old twenties for new ones, and changing a billion of them is an astronomical task. With there being so many twenties, this is why, when you go to a cash machine, you often get nothing but twenties. Banks have previously been accused of holding onto smaller notes. Some seem to give out more tenners from their ATMs than others, compounding the problem.

.

stargalaxy

18-05-2007, 12:30 AM

You've far too much time on your hands Do you really have nothing better to do than going round the boards, making snide comments about me? I would suggest you're actually the one with too little to do.

Calvin

18-05-2007, 12:33 AM

Yeah fair enough :thumb:

Monserrat

18-05-2007, 01:51 AM

Ringing up moaning because he hadn't got sound, and he should have sound, upon investigation he had unplugged the speakers and forgot to plug them back in - This guy is supposed to be running the company! Fucking idiot.

Oh my life!! I feel/share your pain!

Big Gay

18-05-2007, 07:31 PM

I decided one day last year to do a bit of research into this. I asked the Bank of England how many £5 notes are in circulation.

I don't know of a cash machine that dispenses 5 pound notes, so while interesting the figures aren't directly relevant to that issue. the 10 pound figure, on the other hand....

RubberSkin

18-05-2007, 08:17 PM

There used to be one in Cotteridge that dished out fivers, gone now though.

katralla

18-05-2007, 09:29 PM

I must have been about twelve/eleven last time I saw fivers from a cash point

JsT

18-05-2007, 09:38 PM

I don't know of a cash machine that dispenses 5 pound notes

Both of the cash machines at Huddersfield Uni dispense fivers.

Bri-namite

18-05-2007, 09:47 PM

From working in a call centre -

Customer asks me (after 15 minutes speaking to me) if he's been speaking to India today. Does it sound like you're speaking to bloody India?

Old biddy who's daughter text her and she doesn't know how to open it. Spend 25 minutes getting her to open it (an achievment, considering she didn't listen to a word I said and didn't know what a keypad was) so she says thanks, and I ask her if there's anything else I can help her with. Of course, now she wants to know how to send one back. An hour and a half spent explaining how to text, and of course she wants to use proper words, punctuation and a long thing not far off War and Peace :mad:

From working in the bingo -

The bloke who threatened to go to trading standards because our menu displayed jumbo sausages instead of the two smaller ones we had for sale.

Customers who accused me of lying and stealing, because I gave them change off a tenner when they said they give me a twenty when they bought their bingo books. Every time this happened, the CCTV proved me right, and not once did I get an apology like I'd have had to give to them if I'd fucked up.

Have to admit that I've fucked up a few times though. One night this old couple came in first to buy their books, gave me a twenty and I checked it with the note checker pen. It marked all over it, so I said to my supervisor it was a dodgy note, the old couple looked horrified. Managers and everything came down, the queue behind them was out of the door, but it turned out in the end that instead of using the special note checker pen, I'd actually used a black marker instead :o

Sa-ra-ra-ra

18-05-2007, 10:03 PM

Both of the cash machines at Huddersfield Uni dispense fivers.

Yeah, the barclays cashpoint at UEA gives them out. So does the barclays bank cashpoint in Forest Hill, or at least, it used to.

kangoo

18-05-2007, 10:10 PM

turned out in the end that instead of using the special note checker pen, I'd actually used a black marker instead :o

Ahahahaha red face :D

Lu_C

18-05-2007, 10:45 PM

One thing that really annoys me, is when I'm on the fitting room, I already have something in my hand, the customer doesn't wait for me to put it down and hands me 3 items of clothing, none of which are on hangers... followed by two other people who do the same. Is it that hard to put clothes on a bloody hanger?

I had an even stupider thing today... a girl tried on a pair of trousers and a top (take a moment to imagin the different types of hangers for this situation). She didn't want either of them and baffelingly put the top on the trousers hanger and the trousers on the top hanger... :eek2: If you're going to bother putting them back at all... why do it this way... I'm sure it must have been a lot more effort as well.

Indrid Cold

18-05-2007, 11:05 PM

katralla

18-05-2007, 11:26 PM

, but it turned out in the end that instead of using the special note checker pen, I'd actually used a black marker instead :o

ah ha ha. funneh

Addict

18-05-2007, 11:30 PM

Both of the cash machines at Huddersfield Uni dispense fivers.

That's lucky! I'd love a fiver dispenser because I'm forever taking out unneccessary tenners. I can't think of one cash machine in Edinburgh that dispenses fivers.

Lu_C

18-05-2007, 11:33 PM

I always put them back, but if somebody working there sees me, they stop me (politely) and say that I don't have to do it, they will.

:yes: I do that when it's not busy and there's not a lot to do. But these people do this on a Saturday when I actually don't have enough hands and heads to do everything at once... There's two people on fitting room on a Saturday and we still can't sort all the clothes out as fast as we're being given them.

Scary Monster

19-05-2007, 10:58 AM

There's a couple in Cambridge that do, and I've sure I've seen them on campuses I've been to for competitions, it's probably a student thing.

Scary Monster

19-05-2007, 11:12 AM

Just remembered my most irritating stupid customer story ever. Can't believe I forgot this one.

Was working at the pool not long before Easter, and was up on my highchair in the usual bored witless struggling to stay awake state we're in by mid morning on an early shift when the Duty managers head appears at my feet (she was leaning through the gap between the cubicles) looking really panicked saying 'Jenni I need you now'.

So I dutifully bleep the alarm to say I'm leaving poolside and trot off after her, assuming she's jammed the vending machine again or the regional managers coming and she needs help to bodge things before he gets here.

No no, I get told to deal with a blue baby while she calls the ambulance.

So I walk into the family changing room to see a mum with her swim suit around her waist (and wearing nothing else :rolleyes: ) cuddling a little toddler (she's 20 months) who is really rather blue. Mum is completely panicking as her daughter isn't fully conscious, and she's decided it's alll her own fault.

Asked what had happened, well she'd done her swimming lesson (30mins) and then stayed in another half hour and then while she was getting her dressed she noticed she was blue and not very with it.

So I deal with the kid, wrap her up and hug to to me, ascertain she's fine other than cold and keep her close to me (dry and warm) and try and persuade her mum to put some clothes on before the ambulance gets here as she's going to look bloody daft in A&E in half a swim suit.....

Ambulance turns up, by which point I've done my stuff and kid is fine, but needs a check up at the hospital because of what had happened and off she and mum (finally with some clothes on) go in the ambulance.

Our follow up phone call reveals that kid is fine (thank you very much, I'd done my stuff perfectly) and that she is going to complain to the council and health and safety because it's all our fault her kid got cold and she had to deal with the trauma.

She'd had a 20 month kid in the water for an HOUR ffs, the guidance is 15 mins or max of 30 mins if it's a lesson. To have got to the state that her daughter was in the kid must have first shivered a bit, shivered a lot, her lips gone blue, her toes gone blue, her hands gone blue, her feet gone blue, before the rest of her did and she starting heading towards unconscious.

But it's all our fault. Tit.

Half wishing I'd not reassured her while she was panicking and just told her it was her fault then and left her to arrive at a&e with no clothes on.

Jazza

19-05-2007, 03:14 PM

I get a lot of people coming in asking me things as if I'm a fuckin information service.

Customer: "Hi, do you know where I can find one of those wee tartan hats with the red hair attached?" (Note the use of the word "wee" and the woman was american!)

Me: "Eh, sorry I don't really know"

Also people who see me at the very bottom of my department or see me pushing a transporter full of bedding or vases and hold up a pair of trousers and go "Do you have these in a 32 inch waist?" WHAT THE FUCK! THIS IS A HOME AND LIGHTING DEPARTMENT!

One woman even went as far as to say I had appalling customer service manners because I told her I didn't know and if she asked the girl 20 steps away she would tell her.

lea_uk

19-05-2007, 08:17 PM

purplebutterfly

19-05-2007, 09:20 PM

We had some stupid customers when I worked in a certain large size clothong store. The one who always asked what we had that was glittery and just brought stuff from one particular range. She also tried tankinis on and would open the curtains and ask the fitting room girls what they though.

The rudest customer I has was one who came in fairly early one morning. She was trying tops on, about two sizes too small and complained quite rudely that I was lying about the size of the clothes and that the label was incorrect. I felt tempted to tell her to not try to squeeze into clothes too small for her.

I luckily dont have deal with customers any more (well once in a blue moon) but credit controllers are EVIL. (Sorry if anyone is, and I've done myself, but they are the rudest people ever.) Its a case of "I know we owe you money, I look after the purchase ledger but my boss who vetos and authorises the payments has deciced not to pay you until 60 days instead of 30, no point shooting the messenger"

piccolo

19-05-2007, 10:49 PM

I had a b*stard on the phone earlier. They were from another branch of the bookstore and wanted us to transfer a book.

I didn't want to, because we lose the money and the book was selling pretty well - didn't look like we'd be able to get it from the publisher again.

I also don't like doing stock transfers because they take a long time, so gave the standard offer of posting it directly to the customer so that we could take the sale. The customer needs the book by Friday, I said that I can't guarantee it by Friday unless we post it to them directly (bureaucracy interferes with transfers and they can take weeks). The other bookseller insisted that the customer wouldn't accept that. I wouldn't have minded, but he was really rude about it.

Why not?! It's the only way to guarantee delivery on the time scale they wanted and it's exactly the same price. :rolleyes:

pink_glitter

20-05-2007, 03:46 PM

i had a bloke yesterday he came over to me as my colleague had sent him to me. i work for the co-op in the food department.

customer: hiya i've been sent to you to ask about buying a hoover. would you be able to ring the moorland centre and ask what they do.

(the moorland do electrical but that would make them part of the electrical department, not food)

me: yes what are you looking for

customer: one with a bag, i don't like dysons

i ring the other store, explain i have a customer enquiring, they go through a brief desciption of their range. i put the phone down and repeat what i was told to the customer

customer: so is that a hoover with a bag?

me: yes

Customer: is it a stand up one?

me: i don't know, we are the food department, all i know is what they have just told me

customer still continues askin a fuck load of questions like im meant to know

really pisses me off lol

pink_glitter

20-05-2007, 03:50 PM

or another one i hate is on the fag counter

customer: could i buy some cigarettes please?

me: yes what would you like?

customer: i don't know, they're for a friend. they're blue ones

bearing in mind, that could make the L&B smooth, mayfair, windsor blue, richmond, dorchestor blue, berkely blue etc etc.

me: can you see them anywhere?

customer: no what blue ones do you have?

i feel like screaming just fucking look most the fuckin fags are blue!

Monserrat

20-05-2007, 04:07 PM

Our follow up phone call reveals that kid is fine (thank you very much, I'd done my stuff perfectly) and that she is going to complain to the council and health and safety because it's all our fault her kid got cold and she had to deal with the trauma.

Very scary when that happens. If a customer messes up, we (the business) are always the one to blame!

If a customer has viruses on their PC because they've been downloading porn, Kazaa, Limewire etc, who gets the blame? Of course, I do! Who gets the blame when a customer don't update their virus definitions? I do!

Franki

21-05-2007, 01:18 PM

I had a nice encounter with a woman on Saturday. I was carrying a bucket full of ice (which is huge, and bright blue, and is OBVIOUSLY VERY HEAVY), I get halfway across the front counter area, when she says to me from the other side "EXCUSE ME". So I had to stop, and ask her what she wanted, when there were other people standing on the tills who, while also busy, were NOT carrying big blue buckets of ice. Turned out she had a hair on her chips, which is fair enough, but when I said "bear with me for a second then I'll sort it out for you", she gave me a really dirty look. It's just like...yes, I'm going to drop this bucket of ice in the middle of the floor to sort out your sodding fries because they've got a hair in them WHICH PROBABLY BELONGS TO YOUR KID ANYWAY.

Blah.

Oh, and on the £5 note thing, the Barclays in Colchester dispenses fivers from the cash machine inside, but other than that...;(.

Scary Monster

21-05-2007, 01:40 PM

It wasn't a customer as such, but I was staffing the Scout county hiking comp over the weekend and at the end one of the leaders arrived and proceeded to rant at about why had I let one of her Scouts leave her team and join another in the middle of the Hurt Wood.

Yes, in the middle of the Hurt Wood, where they were walking as teams. A good 5 miles away from where I was.

Explained this, she agreed it was beyond my control that she had swapped teams in the middle of the woods, and then started to rant about why didn't I know which team she had gone with.

Funnily enough because that piece of information was also in the middle of the woods.

This continued for a while before I told her to go and sort her Scouts out and maybe in future not enter teams she couldn't trust to stick together.

:banghead:

Captain Slog

24-05-2007, 03:16 AM

I was walking along the deck in my overalls a couple of week's ago when this (American) passenger asks "Have you solved the problem yet?"

Could you be a bit more specific?

RubberSkin

24-05-2007, 01:07 PM

What's pax mean ? Obviously it's a passenger but does it actually mean something else like COS in the U.S. ?

RubberSkin

24-05-2007, 01:10 PM

Well from reading your posts i think twat might be a better word :D

ETA Do you still do the knob thing ?

24-05-2007, 11:20 PM

I work P/T in my boyf's mum's take away, just being the phone monkey and i've noticed that some customers are just so flippin thick.

For example:

Customer: Hi, Can i order
Me: No, we're closed
C: Okay, so can I have...
Me: I'm sorry we're closed..last orders are at 10:45
C: Oh ok....(long pause). So that's sweet n'
Me: WE'RE CLOSED!

WTF?

If you're closed what you doing answering the phones in the first place?

stick an answering machine on that says you're closed and what time you're opened from -

foxysoxy

25-05-2007, 09:33 AM

It was about 10:50, just before we close up properly, but we still answer the phone just in case

Dobbin

25-05-2007, 04:31 PM

GAH!!! Just got a stupid customer rant to get off my chest....

One of our regular account customers is having some printing done with us. His account is currently overdue for payment. I emailed him and asked if we could have payment for his overdue invoice before we printed the cards. I don't think thats unreasonable, as he has a terrible history of paying us and is generally a dodgy character.

He phoned me up, demanding to know when his printing would be done- and I told him I'd sent him an email saying that we were waiting to print until we'd received payment. He had a right old go, telling me that for the sake of continued business i should 'be very careful'. His average payment time is 62 days- our terms are 14. And he's telling ME to be careful?! I've had to go to his offices in the past and announce that I'm staying there until I get a cheque. THAT'S how bad the man can be. Honestly, I can't believe he thought that I was the one being unreasonable. Gah.

Life of Kate

25-05-2007, 10:01 PM

My most bizarre one was when I was working in WHSmith.

Phone Rings
Me: "Hello, WHSmith Books, how can I help?"
Woman: "Hello, I've just taken some washing out of the machine and I had left my bus pass in the pocket, and so now you can't read it"
Me: "... oh.... umm... how can I help you?"
Woman: "Well, i need to know what to do"
Me: "this is WHSmith..."
Woman: "Well, I rang the post office and they told me to ring you"

I had a good laugh over that one!

RubberSkin

25-05-2007, 11:03 PM

^^^ That's cheered a poorly old fairy up :)

katralla

26-05-2007, 01:37 AM

Big Gay

26-05-2007, 12:19 PM

It was about 10:50, just before we close up properly, but we still answer the phone just in case

in case customers are phoning to ask where thier rice crackers are, or why the driver hasn;t turned up yet, and all that stuff?

Life of Kate

26-05-2007, 12:36 PM

Ooo, rememember an old guy coming in because he had this ancient book and had written to the address in the back, but it had been sent back as address unknown. So he came into Smiths to find out the new address!
The amount of people who thought Smiths was some sort of public information service, much like a library, was incredible.

Halloween

26-05-2007, 01:05 PM

1) Customers clicking their fingers at you at the bar/Here love, I'm next/Could you serve her after me?
2) Customers who order £30 worth of drinks and don't tip
3) The ones who grab you by the back of your head when slabbering their order in your ear
4) I've just finished an order, say, "that'll be £15.50 please"
"WHAT? How much is aftershock?"
"It's £3."
"I don't want it well."
"OK. That's £12.50."
"And a battle of tennents." (Which are £1 on tuesdays)

5) Anyone who calls Guiness "a pint of green". I know what it is, but I'm going to stare at you in a disgusted manner until you stop showing off to your underage boird and stop being twatty.

6) People who won't fucking MOVE out of my way if I'm doing a floor shift, carrying two crates of beer and can hardly see in front of me. Then they get annoyed when I kick em in the shins.

katralla

26-05-2007, 02:42 PM

2) Customers who order £30 worth of drinks and don't tip

eh? why the fuck should they give you a tip for doing your job- a job which you are paid at least minimum wage for!

Halloween

26-05-2007, 03:18 PM

:rolleyes:

Find yourself a job as a barmaid in a busy bar on a weeknight, earning some extra cash so you can feed yourself for the next week on something that isn't £.40 pasta from Tescos, and you'll find yourself thinking a little differently.

Minimum wage, after taxes, doesn't cover much. If I'm being polite and quick with an order, it's nice if someone tips you. A £30 order is a lot of work when you've 50 other people shouting at you to SERVE ME ME ME ME ME NEXT

ETA: My list consists of things that piss me off about customers. I'm not saying they're stupid. So noone can bitch about how "I don't tip therefore you're calling me stupid" etc.:p

Monserrat

26-05-2007, 03:52 PM

Hellfire

26-05-2007, 04:49 PM

Halloween

26-05-2007, 05:10 PM

Chill your bags. I'm having a general bitch about things that piss me off.
For the individuals who are taking my list very much to heart, listen-

If a bill comes to £29.90 and you wait for your £0.10, it bugs me. I don't feel the need to justify my rant, and I don't lose sleep over someone not tipping me. I don't need to "get over" anything.
I don't think about it when my shift ends. I don't cry about it.
Why the fuck is what I said causing mini outrage?

Le sigh...

Hellfire

26-05-2007, 07:11 PM

Because you assume you should get tipped for your job, YOU shouldn't, you get paid to do that, as for paying for taxis etc etc you choose to spend money like that on travel etc.

why should people in the service industry expect to be tipped? I tip, I am a person who tip, but I do it for various reasons, I do it out of quality of food in a resteraunt, if its better than just good, manners of stff, service, if the staff take time to ask how you are etc? I TIP then, if I walk up to the bar and ask for some drinks, why should I tip? all you did was get them? its your JOB too.

and Why should it piss you off if someone waits for there change, seriously... ITS HIS MONEY, i always wait for my change, I earnt it, why should I give it away just because of the ammount

Halloween

26-05-2007, 07:22 PM

Gah.

I never assume I'm going to get tipped. However when people who can obviously afford it wait on 10p, yea I consider that to be stingy as fuck. The better service you provide, the more chance you have of being tipped by the customer. Thus when I've spent ten minutes making 5 billion shots and running up to the spirit store for some liquor the guy can't even pronounce for him to angrily wait for 10p without a "thanks" or anything, it's disheartening.

Hellfire

26-05-2007, 08:00 PM

customers who do not listen are the worse

We have 2pools, one in the country house hotel, one in the spa resort, spa resort pool is also public and gym members so thus busier, HOTEL pool is PRIVATE to hotel and lodge guests,

SPA guest comes up complaining its to busy in the spa resort pool, demands to use hotel pool. I explain that hotel pool is of limits to spa residents but she explains she wants somewhere quiet to swim without kids.

Ok, so I mention, sometimes in VERY busy conditions we can allow it so check with duty manager, phone her she told me, not a problem but the pool has just closed, till 4.30 (1.00 to 4.30

Explain this to the woman and she says "but if I was staying in the hotel I'd be able to use it?" I reply saying "yes if the pool was open" and she asks why she cant use it right now, for five minutes I explain to her it is CLOSED right now,

finally she storms off. stupid people

Halloween

26-05-2007, 08:51 PM

The ones who lose their cloakroom tickets and despite me telling them "sorry I'll lose my job, come back at the end of the night" they still procede in a drunken state to describe said coat/bag/then mutter "bitch" when they skulk off.

Lu_C

26-05-2007, 08:53 PM

Heard a great one today... two girls talking to eachother... one looks at a sign which states that we're getting rid of menswear and it's all 70% off... she points it out to her friend who says back 'are they getting rid of the mens wear then?' ....................

Made me chuckle.

Had a bit of an odd thing the other day. I was tidying around near the changing room and a woman comes out of them, having just tried on some stuff... and she looks at me and says 'Oh I wish you'd been here a minute ago, I wanted to see what these look like' (holding up a garment)... :eek2: She then just wandered off to the till... I still have no idea what she meant.

snowman123

27-05-2007, 12:23 AM

I work in the technical support department for my computing firm, and my phone number ends with -5544. I quite often get calls from customers enquiring about their pension schemes. I just say back to them "I think you have the wrong number here".

It turned out that the customers were trying to get hold of a company called Marconi Pensions whose number ends with -5400. I'm not sure how easy it is to confuse -5544 with -5400 :-)

We had a spare phone next to a computer workstation that was only ever used for rare outgoing calls. No-one would call it as it wasn't anyone's desk.

We then had a spate of calls to this line, all expecting it to be a furniture shop, and to begin with they took a lot of persuading they had the wrong number, or there was a misprint in a catalogue somewhere.

We used to take it in turns to answer the 'furniture store' calls - it was nice to be aware even before taking the call the amount of confusion likely to appear seconds later.

FireyFirenze

27-05-2007, 01:40 AM

Had a bit of an odd thing the other day. I was tidying around near the changing room and a woman comes out of them, having just tried on some stuff... and she looks at me and says 'Oh I wish you'd been here a minute ago, I wanted to see what these look like' (holding up a garment)... :eek2: She then just wandered off to the till... I still have no idea what she meant.

Maybe she wanted someone elses opinion on what the clothes looked like on her :) unless you're talking about a bra or something which is indeed weird.

edn1

27-05-2007, 10:40 PM

So the shopping centre fire alarm goes off which in turn sets off every shops fire alarm, cue lots of people talking loudly or covering their ears.

It's also funny how many people refuse to leave your store or get out of the changing room in a quick fashion when the fire alarm goes off. People just don't seem to care. After my workmate whipped out with " sorry i cant serve you the fire alarm is going off you have to leave the store " people started to turn and walk away, not this young couple god no they moved aside for everyone then walked upto the desk followed by some dodgy looking guy who we instantly agree'd looked like he was ready to nick the stuff he was holding, again with the fire alarm going off loudly they want served.

When it comes to customer's you cant help think " What the FUCK !? " Common sense goes completely when you are a customer it seems.

and something that REALLY bugs me. Store opening hours ? 9am - 6pm. Simple enough, you have 9 hours to shop. So why is it that SO MANY people insist on wanting to shop for stuff AFTER 6pm when we are trying to get everyone out, and why so damn rude to me because i won't let you in when OUR TILLS ARE GOING OFF you !

It's actually at a point where people will get on their hands and knee's, hell they'll lay flat on their back and somehow STILL get under the shutter only to be told VERY sharply " We're closed ! ".

But at the end of the day without all these idiots, a LOT of then genuily stupid we wouldnt be able to have a laugh about it all.

FireFly85

28-05-2007, 12:32 PM

and something that REALLY bugs me. Store opening hours ? 9am - 6pm. Simple enough, you have 9 hours to shop. So why is it that SO MANY people insist on wanting to shop for stuff AFTER 6pm when we are trying to get everyone out, and why so damn rude to me because i won't let you in when OUR TILLS ARE GOING OFF you !

It's actually at a point where people will get on their hands and knee's, hell they'll lay flat on their back and somehow STILL get under the shutter only to be told VERY sharply " We're closed ! ".

Yeah that really annoys me to! It's like on a Sunday ALL the shops are only open 10-4, so why do people come out shopping at like 3.30? Plus there are announcements every five minutes from 3.45 onwards saying the store is closing, yet 4.05 you'll still get people having a good browse with no intention of leaving. So you approach them and say - "is there anything I can help you with at all because we're actually closed now" and they just wave you away and carry on looking! I think its rude, they wouldn't expect to be able to enter a shop before it opens in the morning so why do they think its acceptable to delay all the staff at the end of the day? We can't begin cashing up until the store is secure and all the customers have left, so even though I only get paid until 4pm sometimes we don't get out the store till 4.30.

katralla

28-05-2007, 01:06 PM

:rolleyes:

Find yourself a job as a barmaid in a busy bar on a weeknight, earning some extra cash so you can feed yourself for the next week on something that isn't £.40 pasta from Tescos, and you'll find yourself thinking a little differently.

Minimum wage, after taxes, doesn't cover much. If I'm being polite and quick with an order, it's nice if someone tips you. A £30 order is a lot of work when you've 50 other people shouting at you to SERVE ME ME ME ME ME NEXT

I worked a bar thurs, fri, sat, sun, bank holiday nights 7-late for quite a while on minimum wage. I used to come away with £70 in tips on heaving days but these were GIVEN to me by customers, not a rightful reward for doing my job exactly as I was being paid to with good humour and grace.

Randomgirl

28-05-2007, 05:36 PM

Yeah that really annoys me to! It's like on a Sunday ALL the shops are only open 10-4, so why do people come out shopping at like 3.30? Plus there are announcements every five minutes from 3.45 onwards saying the store is closing, yet 4.05 you'll still get people having a good browse with no intention of leaving. So you approach them and say - "is there anything I can help you with at all because we're actually closed now" and they just wave you away and carry on looking! I think its rude, they wouldn't expect to be able to enter a shop before it opens in the morning so why do they think its acceptable to delay all the staff at the end of the day? We can't begin cashing up until the store is secure and all the customers have left, so even though I only get paid until 4pm sometimes we don't get out the store till 4.30.

To be fair the law states shops can trade for up to six hours between the hours of 10am and 6pm on a Sunday. The shops on Oxford Street all trade from 12 noon to 6pm.

Scary Monster

28-05-2007, 05:52 PM

It's also funny how many people refuse to leave your store or get out of the changing room in a quick fashion when the fire alarm goes off. People just don't seem to care.

You'll find a lot of people who have lived in communal buildings have stopped caring about fire alarms with no sign of fire.

Our one in halls went off about 3x a fortnight, I'd amble out because the noise was annoying rather than because of a fire risk.

Seeohbahn

28-05-2007, 06:30 PM

You'll find a lot of people who have lived in communal buildings have stopped caring about fire alarms with no sign of fire.

Our one in halls went off about 3x a fortnight, I'd amble out because the noise was annoying rather than because of a fire risk.

Yeah, the ones in my uni halls last year would go off pretty much every night, and it was 18 storeys high so a lot of people wouldn't bother going down. You'd get people still entering the building when they were going off too.

Sofie

28-05-2007, 07:05 PM

why should people in the service industry expect to be tipped? I tip, I am a person who tip, but I do it for various reasons, I do it out of quality of food in a resteraunt

My parents do this. Quite a few times when we've had Chinese delivered, they've tipped the delivery person.

This is more of a rant than anything:

I do a work placement 2 days a week at a nursery. A few times I've been asked to answer the door. When I do this, I will get the parents saying hello or good morning to me. One time, I opened the door and a parent was like 'Harvey's just woken up and had no dinner. He won't need a sleep this afternoon' and said some other stuff to me that I didn't quite catch. She could've at least waited until she got in the building.:rolleyes:

FireFly85

28-05-2007, 07:40 PM

To be fair the law states shops can trade for up to six hours between the hours of 10am and 6pm on a Sunday. The shops on Oxford Street all trade from 12 noon to 6pm.

I know, but we clearly put 4 announcements out at the end of the day, all the shops in the town centre shut at 4, and half the time even when you tell the people you are closing they just ignore you. I can understand staying in the store as a genuine mistake but really if I heard an announcement saying the store is closing in five minutes I'd be too embarassed to casually carry on looking around until someone was forced to come up and tell me the shop is closed.

As for the whole tipping thing although I do tip waiting staff I don't really see the difference between someone who does bar work, someone who works in retail or in fact in any kind of customer facing role. You have to go out of your way to serve customers, often I spend a good hour running to and from different sides of the shop trying to find a product from a vague specification a customer has given me, running up 8 flights of stairs to check the stock room and back down again, looking for different sizes etc. I'm not saying I think I deserve a tip at all because I'm just doing what I'm there to do, but I find it odd in the UK that we routinely tip people in particular customer facing roles but don't tip people in other roles.

_guest

28-05-2007, 08:02 PM

As for the whole tipping thing although I do tip waiting staff I don't really see the difference between someone who does bar work, someone who works in retail or in fact in any kind of customer facing role. You have to go out of your way to serve customers, often I spend a good hour running to and from different sides of the shop trying to find a product from a vague specification a customer has given me, running up 8 flights of stairs to check the stock room and back down again, looking for different sizes etc. I'm not saying I think I deserve a tip at all because I'm just doing what I'm there to do, but I find it odd in the UK that we routinely tip people in particular customer facing roles but don't tip people in other roles.

Indeed. I spend about 95% of my day in my new job dealing with customers and its my job to help them, hence why I get paid for it. I don't expect a tip.

zippy1435

06-06-2007, 09:54 AM

I used to work in a large pub/restaurant and we used to compere stupid customer comments after work. The pub was situated on the river Stour in Kent and the favourite idiot customer question to a member of staff was:-
C. Where does the river go?
MOS. The sea
C. Wow, really!

Customers had to find a table and then order their food at a food till giving their table number so the food could be delivered. When the pub was busy and there were no tables the conversations always went

C. (with 3 kids and grandparents in tow) I'd like to order some food
MOS What's your table number?
C. We don't have one yet there are no tables
MOS I'm sorry you need to find a table first.
C. there are no tables I want to order now so I don't have to wait.
MOS I'm sorry you really do need a table number
C (Irate) I'll find a table when I've ordered etc etc etc
This conversation would go on for sometime before MOS would give up and take the order and payment and the customer's name.
Half an hour late the food would be brought out and the customer's name shouted. The customer would still be standing in the pub as there were still no tables and now each would have a meal in their hands and nowhere to eat it. IDIOTS

If people were sat outside by the river we would ask them for an approx location as the river bank stretched for approx 1/4 mile and the waiter/ress would have to find them there were also a large number of trees out there. We would get:
I'm sitting on the table
I'm on the grass
I'm by the tree
I'm near the water
But I think the best was "I'm on the shore". On the fucking shore it's a fucking river you dick.
We would get customers coming up to the bar, gazing around (the pub had been re-furbed 3 years previously) and asking "how long has it been like this" We would look confused, look around the pub and then take a step backwards and say "Fuck me I'm in the wrong pub and walk out from behind the bar and through the front door. Well we thought it was funny. Either that or we would look at our watches and say "Ooh about 5 minutes"

I once heard this conversation between a fuckwit snobby customer and a barman:
C I didn't ask for ice
BM You didn't ask for a fucking glass either but you're not complaining about that.
Nice

nahnah

06-06-2007, 01:10 PM

The worst customers have got to be the ones that do their 'big shop' in Marks and Sparks. Because they spend an ungodly amount of money on food which, although is rather special, is also a bit unnecessary, they seem to think they have the right to bitch incessantly at all of the staff. (except the old dears, they make my day!)

I was on the till once, and there was a couple queuing, and an old lady with a trolley behind them.

Old Lady: Can you move up please?
Man: (turned round angrily) I'll move up when you stop hitting me in the ankles with your trolley.
Old Lady: Oh, sorry (recoils in fright)
The couple still refuse to move up and carry on being posh and annoying.
The little old lady attempts to put her shopping on the conveyor belt and is greeted with
Man: IF YOU DON'T STOP HITTING ME WITH THAT TROLLEY I'M GOING TO WRAP IT AROUND YOU!!

Aah, manners. I agree the old lady was in the wrong but she really was a nice one. Unless she was actually trying to get him in the shins...

Also, we have a whole fridge of about 10 different types of tomatoes and a woman comes up to me and says "Are these the only tomatoes you have?"

zippy1435

06-06-2007, 03:19 PM

I run a kitchen business now and we have to go to customers' houses to sell them a kitchen and some of them really are fuckwits. There should be a programme about rogue customers instead of traders, some of them are dodgier than a jammy dodger. They all want everything for nothing, don't want to pay and have had a cheaper quote from B&Q.
Yesterday one even asked if I'd fit his kitchen as a foreigner and I'm the Managing Director! :shocking: Idiot.

Maladjusted

06-06-2007, 10:07 PM

Think i may have said this in a different thread but here are some of the things i've been asked working at my parent's restaurant:

Guy rings up and orders a delivery, i finish taking order and ask him for his address, he asks me "why?"

Customer - Do you have king prawns in the chicken fried rice?
Me - No sir, we have king prawns in the king prawn fried rice, and chicken in the chicken fried rice.

People who ask me if the food's nice, i'm not about to say "Actually, it's shit, i wouldn't eat here if i was you", am i?

Another pet hate is people saying "You speak english very well" in a patronising sort of way. Always so tempting to tell them that yes i do, and most likely better than they do.

As someone else said earlier, people ringing up and trying to make an order when i have just told them we're not open.

Big Gay

07-06-2007, 01:10 AM

People who ask me if the food's nice, i'm not about to say "Actually, it's shit, i wouldn't eat here if i was you", am i?If i ask "What have you got that's nice?" I'm asking for a recommendation.

Maladjusted

07-06-2007, 01:17 AM

If i ask "What have you got that's nice?" I'm asking for a recommendation.

What you are asking and what I said they asked are different questions.

Recommendations I can happily do, or suggesting what someone would prefer if they give me some info. Asking if a particular dish is good or not will always get the answer of "Yes", oddly enough :rolleyes:

Boins

09-06-2007, 06:54 PM

ahh customers......they're brilliant, in the sort of way you just want to wrap them in bubble wrap (andsuffocatethelittlefucktardstilltheyturnblueand throwtheirstilltwitchingbodiesthroughtheshopwindow s!!!!!!!!!)

and send them on their merry way into the big, wide world.

I work in a cinema and a "upmarket" trendy pizza restaurant and you really do get some wierd and wonderful sorts, also a complete contrast

its not that bad but when someone collects tickets from you at the box office which they've pre-booked

CUSTOMER: I've pre booked some tickets

(usually followed by the obligatory "mate"......oh i'm sorry do I know you, have we met before....."mate".....you do realise that in the animal kingdom, a mate is something you FUCK?!)

ME: ok can I have the card

(they proceed to hand me the card, which I swipe to get the information)

CUSTOMER: I'm not gonna get charged twice am I

ME: (in my head, yes........yes you are ......... its called I'm an awful bastard and you're retarded tax. I'm going to debit your account twice because I felt like it) of course not, i just need to get the information on screen.

now on to the classics at the restaurant

The name of this place has pizza in the title, a guy walks in

"excuse me mate, do you do pizzas here?"

i looked around at a few tables with pizzas everywhere.....

"yyyyyyyyyup" i replied

another one

CUSTOMER: do you do chips?

ME: I'm sorry we don't

CUSTOMER: oh.......alright then..............I'll have chips

and another

CUSTOMER: excuse me these crayons aren't sharp enough, my kids cant use those

(proceeds to knock over her drink all over the table)

CUSTOMER: and now we need another drink and more napkins! (stares at me as if its my fault.....

honestly some people

noog

09-06-2007, 11:39 PM

Today i had a customer, smart suited man, kinda womanly voice...

on his computer he calls himself 'patricia' , and there's a picture of him in a dress.

I didnt ask.

JsT

10-06-2007, 12:46 AM

Today i had a customer, smart suited man, kinda womanly voice...

on his computer he calls himself 'patricia' , and there's a picture of him in a dress.

I didnt ask.
hahahahaahahah

Lu_C

10-06-2007, 08:41 PM

Yesterday I was phoning through an application for an account card, and while I was on the phone the lady I was serving lent over and put a strawberry infront of me and chuckled cheekily and winked. :lol:

stargalaxy

10-06-2007, 10:46 PM

Part of my job as an arcade cashier involves helping people out when they have problems with machines. They come to me, explain the problem, and I call the floor walkers on the radio, so they can sort it out. Not much room for error, you might think. Erm...

The cashdesk is situated in the middle of the arcade. I've lost count of the number of people who have said "That machine swallowed my money!". When I ask what the machine is called, they just say "That machine over there", usually pointing to a corner. Given that we have over 200 machines in one room, working out what they are referring to is a challenge and a half. Recently, I've started telling them "I can't help you if you won't tell me what machine you're on about", usually resulting in verbal abuse. Prats.

Princess_Violet

13-06-2007, 12:12 PM

Ohh lets see. I work in an independant fish shop... so not a Maidenhead Aquatics chain store thing. We sell everything at the RRP... as we think that's pretty fair considering that we're independant and don't get much discount from the suppliers.. unlike M.A. Luckily we have one just around the corner from us :yeees:

Well, there's two of us who work here and seeing as we don't have penises (yes, two girls, in a fish shop) we get the usual "Is there a man here to serve me?" or Him: "what happened to the old guy?" me: "he left,. 6 years ago. Now how can I help you?" Him: "oh, when's he going to be back? He usually serves me." "Me: HE LEFT SIX YEARS AGO!"

Or the IDIOT who made me cry cause he was so rude to me. His new light was broken and he was in London and needed a new one and was screaming down the phone at me. I told him to take it to a shop which stocked that brand and they'd exchange it and send it back as a return, so that he didn't need to treck back here to swap it. I told him Maidenhead Aquatics DO NOT stock that brand so don't go there. He told me "You don't know London, they f**king won't" and slammed the phone down on me. Wonderful. Considering I'm a regular customer in quite a few London fish shops, and my mates all live in London... :rolleyes: Then he calls back an hour later "I took it to Maidenhead Aquatics and they bloody won't take it back, I told you so!" ... I hung up on him and ignored the phone for the rest of the afternoon.

Or the blokes who return CUT TO CUSTOM SIZE pieces of hose or pond liner and expect a refund.

Or the people who ask me what they need to keep a goldfish so I show them what we have and how many fish will go into it. Then they buy the tank and ask for double the amount of fish I told them. I refuse, so they buy what I let them and then go around the corner to MA and buy the rest. Then come and demand a refund when the fish have died.... :banghead:

And the obligatory "I went to Maidenhead Aquatics and they sell this for this price. Yours are more expensive *points to fish tank*" So I go check my catalogue to see what price the tank should be. MA are selling it at WAY below the TRADE price we pay. "Sorry sir, we'd actually loose money if we sold it at that price. *shows book* this is what we pay for those tanks. This is the RRP. I can give you 10% off the tank if you wanted, but we can't price match with their price unfortunaterly." Them: "Nah I think I'll just go back there." Fair enough. Next day he returns, recipt in hand. "Look, look this is what I paid for that tank!" Me: "Oh, that's nice. How can I help you?" ....turns out it was above our trade price and he was just talking shite. Below the RRP, but we could have price matched it for him. This guy now makes a point of checking the prices between the two shops and being anal over a 10p price difference on food.. and then brings recipts in to prove it. Like I bloody care! He can sod off over to MA if he's that bothered!

I also bring my dog to work, and in the week I'm here on my own. The dog is asleep on my office floor, and customers ask, "oh is he your dog?" ..noooo I've stolen it actually.

And the godawful woman who came in with a 2" deep floating candle bowl, which would barely hold a pint of water... "Can I put a turtle in this? *points to baby turtles in 3ft fish tank* one of them?" "Errrrm, no. It'd be too small?" "Even for a baby?" "Yes. It doesnt' actually fit in that bowl, even as a baby." "Well, what's the cheapest animal I can put in this bowl?" "Try an ant. Or gnat." Perhaps an amoeba... ARGH if people aren't willing to spend money on their animal, they shouldn't be allowed one.

Also, the idiots who come and buy a load of stuff and add on the end "and I'd like ten percent off." WTF?!?!!? Why? What makes you think you deserve 10% off? You don't walk into Tesco and ring it all up and say "and I'd like ten percent off!"

Iiiiiiidiots. Ooh it feels good to have a good ol' rant about idiot customers!

ShyBoy

13-06-2007, 07:25 PM

You can give 10% off?

I'm going to ask for a discount in every shop I go now :) (though high street shops are normally overpriced anyway!)

stargalaxy

13-06-2007, 11:47 PM

I'm going to ask for a discount in every shop I go now You're a student, you do that anyway! :p

Princess_Violet

14-06-2007, 04:01 PM

You can give 10% off?

I'm going to ask for a discount in every shop I go now :) (though high street shops are normally overpriced anyway!)

Some independant shops will. Most will only do it if you ask, and are spending a nice big chunk of cash though, or are a very regular customer. Like if you buy a pond set up or fish tank set up with all the bits etc. The cheek of some people though, one woman asked for 10% off a 40p pond plant basket! ...Then paid for it in coppers. Removing the pound coins from the handful of change as she went :mad: tight. She hadn't seen the prices on it though, so I still charged her full price and told her I'd taken 10% off hehe.
Or ya get the customer who had 10% off a big fish tank set up... then expects 10% every time he comes back in for food or such. It's stoopid and rude. I get a fantastic discount at another local fish shop where I buy my marines from, but if they don't give me a discount one day, I don't complain. Cause discounts are one of those "not on record" kind of things and sometimes people forget. I'm not rude enough to remind them, especially as I don't get an actual figure of a discount... it's like £9?... you can have it for a fiver... £27?... £15. it varies. If they feel like giving me discount one day, I'm very grateful :)

I think I need to invent a discount card... like what they do at Body Shop! I love my body shop card.

Dobbin

14-06-2007, 04:51 PM

We have computers in our shop which our customers use for internet access- like an internet cafe without the food or drink ;) so this girl was just in from a very very exclusive private school in town, and at the same time I had another customer in who was in to settle a rather large bill. I was making small talk with her while I was processing her bill, just shmoozing a bit really, trying to impress her so she comes back and spends more, and all the time this snotty cow on the internet keep butting in 'How do I print', 'How do I get on the internet', 'Do you have a stapler because I need one', 'Could you pass me the stapler cos I can't quite reach'.... and so it continued. I wouldn't mind, but I was blatantly having a conversation with someone else- it's just rude to interrupt. Grrrrr! just shows that money can't buy manners.

chan-chan

19-06-2007, 11:52 AM

Whilst working at McDonalds:

Me: Hiya, can I help you?
C: I want a hamburger...but no meat....
Me: K, so you want just the bun with ketchup in it then
C: No, I want a hamburger without the burger in it.
Me: So thats not a hamburger then is it? Its a BUN WITH KETCHUP IN IT!!!

:mad:

my name

19-06-2007, 03:32 PM

Maybe they wanted the onions pickels and mustard too :p

Franki

19-06-2007, 04:00 PM

Maybe they wanted the onions pickels and mustard too :p
:yes:.

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeexactly that.

Stage_Name

22-06-2007, 09:20 PM

i work in a lingerine shop so we get dogey customers everyday but i think we'd get board if we didnt get an idiot every now and then lol

Up a ladder restocking the bras and a woman walks in

ME: hi do you need any help love?

Her: do you sell bras?

that really tickled me and i had to get someone else to serve her to stop myself from crying with laughter!!

and i hate men coming in asking for a bra, looking at my chest and saying about your size aagghhh!!!

i love my job really tho i think id be board if i did something else lol

AB2404

26-06-2007, 03:14 PM

I work in a bowling alley i ALWAYS get hillarious customers. Its the confused ones who insist that they are right though, even when its there mistake.

Cust: My computer isnt scoring properly.
me: ok i'll just have a look at it (bring scores up on comp screen - look all scores look normal) What exactly is the problem?
Cust: Well its not given me my points.
me: Its because you have a strike (or half) which means you're score cant be calculated til ur next go.
cust: why
me: well the simple explanation is this is how it would effect your score - giv example
cust: But why?
ME : grrr lol bcos thats how the scoring works.
Cust: but my score is wrong now then?
me : no its not wrong its just waiting for you to take your next go so it can calculate the score and it will be correct.
cust: so it'll stay wrong until my next go.
me: well its not wrong, but the score will change when you take your next go.
customer: i dont understand why its wrong tho.
me ARGHHHHHHH call for someone with more patience to go help this stupid man.

Or

Phone call

Me : thank you for calling Bowling world in anytown, how can i help you?

Cust: Is that bowling world anytown?

Me: Yes, can i help you?

Customer: Can i book a Table/ rink!? / pitch/ stand/ aisle/ road/ skittle game ?!

Me: You'd like to book a LANE??

lol how entertaining
always amuses me lol

They are the commonest comedy moments but customers do even more stupid things. Some days im sure that every stupid person in the town comes to speak to ME on one day!! lol

RubberSkin

26-06-2007, 09:56 PM

Not so much stupid customer as stupid thieves.

We had our delivery from a big lorry with one of those lowering tailgate things. Anyhoo the palette's on the tailgate, about halfway up when this car stops abruptly by it, a pair of hands reaches out and takes a case (12 bottles) of Grant's whisky. The car then proceeds to drive off with the edge of the tailgate embedded in the side of the car causing a nice, long, wide gash in the side of the car.

Unfortunately for said thieves (now with a gash in the side of their nice, shiny beemer) our sweets and chocolate were put into old boxes for delivery. They actually stole 36 packets of chocolate buttons, 36 bounties and some orbit whilst doing £100's worth of damage to their nice car :D

Sofie

27-06-2007, 06:45 AM

Whowhere

27-06-2007, 10:11 AM

Me-What do you think you're doing?
Snaf-I aint done nofin
Me-we've just had a phone call about you urinating against that playschool wall
Snaf-I aint done nofin, prove it
Me-You were watched
Snaf-By who?
Me-See that big white box on the pole that keeps moving around to look at you?
Snaf-Yeah?
Me-It's a CCTV camera.....

Idiots.

Splodgey

27-06-2007, 10:27 AM

my name

27-06-2007, 07:31 PM

:lol: Oh rubber, you've got the best stories. What a couple of tards! :lol:

RubberSkin

27-06-2007, 08:42 PM

Loads of stupid/innocent workmate ones, but suppose this is the best.

I popped into the shop for some ciggies and had a natter with Cheryl and Deb (manager). Anyway Cherly says she's going to a Greek restaurant at the w/e so i said she must try a Greek bread and dip as a starter called felatio (bread) and cunnilingus (dip).

Cheryl's not that convinced so me and Deb keep telling her it's true until a customer walks in.

Customer (male)- 20 Benson pleas.
Cheryl - £4.20p please. (scans ciggies, takes money etc)
Cheryl - Excuse me can i ask you a question ?
Customer - Sure
Cheryl - If you were offered cunnilingus would you eat it ?

Franki

27-06-2007, 09:31 PM

RubberSkin

27-06-2007, 09:56 PM

This was about 12 years ago :)

ETA Not 12, more like 8.

Franki

27-06-2007, 10:11 PM

Ah ok, fair enough then :)

Bri-namite

27-06-2007, 10:36 PM

Too many stupid customers to mention nowadays. Comes with the territory in call centres.

Cockney bloke phones up, doesn't know the password on his account, can't answer the security questions, but apparently I should just discuss his account with him anyway "because he's driving a 70 ton lorry down the motorway"

Really, what did he think was going to come of it? "Oh of course I can discuss your account with you, I forgot about that clause in the Data Protection Act that allows fat Cockney truckers called Clive driving massive lorries access to their account whether they can pass the relevant security check or not!"

Another classic today too

Me - When did your contract start?
Viky Pollard herslef on the other end - Oh it woz the day Big Bruvver started, wunnit?

No wonder I get grey hair :mad: