Why arnt girls more forward?

[yohanes13]

Just to quanlify i dont mean slutty or fucking with guys minds i mean if you like a guy make it obvious almost any guy i know wouldnt care and most would think its awesome we live in a world of "womens rights" yet you still wont make the first move im sorry i know its a bit of a rant but after reading a few relevant posts its starting to annoy me why should we do all the work?

[RedOfTheRose]

I am very obvious if I like a guy. Unfortunatley, all its had is shut downs (except for one who recently broke me) so its not everyone. Maybe its just the ones you've encountered.

[VinylVicky]

That's what centuries of living in a man's world does to you!

[StrubbleS]

Ah well, yohanes, isn't that a thing we all were pondering about at some time of our life?

Well, USUALLY boys make the step, so why not just lean back and let them come forward to you. I would do so too, if I know a girl is making steps to be with me, but society sees man as the step-taker, so girls tend to not show vulnerable aspects while you might make yourself ridiculous.

What I really dislike is, when girls see a man make a step to them, dig them, but are to pussy to reciprotate and finally tell this man (let's say it's me), "I really dug you back in 2003... a pity it did not work out." YOU HO! I tried everything, but you were acting as if you weren't interested!!!

Best case scenario is, both parties making signs and working "together" in that department, and what I sure as hell know too: As soon as a girl shows real interest in me, and drops signs to be with me, I go for it (if im single ofc), because that never happened before and I really appreciate this kind of genuity.

/edit: Can't say I like the way it is, but sometimes I really enjoy the courting. It's like working in your carpentry and craft a cool wooden bench or something. To work on something and see the reward.

[Namaste]

Just to quanlify i dont mean slutty or fucking with guys minds i mean if you like a guy make it obvious almost any guy i know wouldnt care and most would think its awesome we live in a world of "womens rights" yet you still wont make the first move im sorry i know its a bit of a rant but after reading a few relevant posts its starting to annoy me why should we do all the work?
Yeah women's rights are bullshit. Men should be allowed to rape women, touch women up in the street and a husbands should be allowed to beat his wife (property) if she burns his dinner which she's cooked after spending the day at home cleaning, rearing the children and finally putting his slippers on his feet for him when he gets home from work.

Of course the media should objectify women, or course women should know their place and not be allowed rights to their body. If she gets knocked up by pleasuring him when he wants it then it's her own fault.

And don't get me started on careers, women are worse than them blacks... Jeeze!

Yeah, all the women's rights in this country, you'd think women would throw themselves at your perfect ass.

[Namaste]

Just to reply in a functional way...


It's not nice to call a woman "slutty"... If she wants to enjoy herself let her.
Traditionally men ask women out, but I know a lot of women who are very forward.
Maybe you aren't showing the woman you like her, or are a poor flirt.
Women's rights is not about women throwing themselves at men or being privilidged to be more forward and flirty for men's pleasure.
Maybe you go for shy women.
I've been involved with both and men do tend to say what they think more directly than women. But at the same time, in my experience women are more sincere. Women are open and forward in a different way to men really.

[Kermit]

Call me cynical, but perhaps the girls "aren't being forward" because they don't fancy you?

It's amazing how its only ever men who can't get laid who complain about the behaviour of women.

[Loopi]

Call me cynical, but perhaps the girls "aren't being forward" because they don't fancy you?

It's amazing how its only ever men who can't get laid who complain about the behaviour of women.
Meeoaw, put your handbag away Mister!! :D

All women are different, just like all men are different. Deal with it. Some are forward and go for what they want. Some aren't. Clearly you attract the ones that aren't .... or should I say that you are attracted to ones that aren't. Maybe you secretly enjoy the melodrama of not knowing.

[luvmeright]

its because we are scared of being turned down lol
personally i dnt think id ask a lad out unless i knew for a fact that he liked me back

[StrubbleS]

its because we are scared of being turned down lol
personally i dnt think id ask a lad out unless i knew for a fact that he liked me back

That's what I am afraid too :)

but I have to jump over my shadow...
that's probably the reason too, why we men are generally more assertive...

not to hop on the generalisation-bandwagon tho.

[RedOfTheRose]

rejection is just a part of life we have to get used to, just like bitches and heartbreak and fights and bad jobs...

[Olive]

Call me cynical, but perhaps the girls "aren't being forward" because they don't fancy you?

:yes: :thumb:

I asked my other half out. I'm not that much of a rarity either.

[I'm With Stupid]

Call me cynical, but perhaps the girls "aren't being forward" because they don't fancy you?

It's amazing how its only ever men who can't get laid who complain about the behaviour of women.
:yes: - to some extent. Plenty of women are 'forward'. I've had girls come up to me in clubs and pubs, or try to dance with me plenty of times. It's just that it's rarely the one's that I'm interested in (now I know how you girls feel - you must get that all the time). I figure it's because the one's I genuinely like either don't have to be forward because they figure I'll make a move, which I usually will, or they're not interested (in which case I usually will anyway :p).

[briggi]

Lots of girls are forward (and some very much so).

Just speaking from personal experience, I've made the first move with every bloke I have ever been out with. I really can't be arsed waiting around for them to grow a pair, though I think my instincts about whether they're interested or not are pretty much honed to perfection - which makes it a lot easier and less scary :thumb:

[pill 'ed]

I wish girls were more forward too...
Some people may remember but there's a girl in my class at college who I really, really, really, REALLY like and I'm pretty sure she likes me too from the time we have spent with eachother, problem is she's usually with her friends and I'm new to this college so am a bit shy and haven't really got the guts to go up to her and ask her out, but why can't she fucking do it?
I did meet an incredibly forward girl at a party once, she was drunk as fuck though but was literally all over me. I didn't come on to her at all because she was going out with one of my best mates, mates but she was taking my clothes off and locking us in the garage and stuff lol, never met a girl that forward in my life.

[I'm With Stupid]

I wish girls were more forward too...
Some people may remember but there's a girl in my class at college who I really, really, really, REALLY like and I'm pretty sure she likes me too from the time we have spent with eachother, problem is she's usually with her friends and I'm new to this college so am a bit shy and haven't really got the guts to go up to her and ask her out, but why can't she fucking do it?
She might just be shy when it comes to stuff like that. And if she's used to blokes coming up to her, then she won't get out of her comfort zone to ask you out. There's only two things you can do. Ask her out. Or get her drunk enough so that she comes onto you :p.

[pill 'ed]

She might just be shy when it comes to stuff like that. And if she's used to blokes coming up to her, then she won't get out of her comfort zone to ask you out. There's only two things you can do. Ask her out. Or get her drunk enough so that she comes onto you :p.

I know mate, and I'm too much of a coward to do the first so that's why I'm praying she's gonna be at this college party I'm going to next week....
Oh the wonders of alcohol :D

[Deep Fathom]

The first step has always been for me to take, I've never been chatted up (cries)... Then I feel they become more enthusiastic... if you asked me a couple of weeks ago, i'd say exactly the opposite. :p

[Ballerina]

what has womens rights got to do with how forward they are?

And kermits probably right.

[I'm With Stupid]

And kermits probably right.
Not really. Do you (really) try and pull everyone you fancy? Do most people? A lot of people of either sex are afraid of rejection, so them not coming onto you doesn't mean they don't fancy you, just that they're shy/don't think you feel the same way.

[Cherrypie2882]

If i am honest i never approach guys! When i go out i just go out to dance and have a good time with my friends and if a meet a guy, i meet a guy but this rarely happens in clubs/pubs.

What really gets my goat up is when guys just grab your arse when you are walking through a pub/club!! Hello! or if you are walking down the street and blokes are like Yo! or do that hissing thing!! what the fuck!!?? where are all the gentleman thats what i wanna know. Saying that i do live in North London.... perhaps i should move! lol :D

[byny]

Some girls are more forward than others, as are some boys. I don't think it's fair to say men always do all the work.

[tinydancer]

yeah definitely,women r jus different. i'm the shy type and i wouldn't let a guy know that i liked him in case he didn't like me back...but my friends are just the opposite, they see what they want n just go for it! :yes:

[Ballerina]

Not really. Do you (really) try and pull everyone you fancy? Do most people? A lot of people of either sex are afraid of rejection, so them not coming onto you doesn't mean they don't fancy you, just that they're shy/don't think you feel the same way.
no because i'm in a relationship :p

but if he can tell they like him and they wont move then either go to them or move on, no point winging about it. There's loads of forward girls, he just needs to find them.

[Sofie]

Call me cynical, but perhaps the girls "aren't being forward" because they don't fancy you?

Well done for stating the obvious...

If you like her that much, what's wrong with YOU making the move? I always make the first move if I like someone...

[StrubbleS]

Well done for stating the obvious...

If you like her that much, what's wrong with YOU making the move? I always make the first move if I like someone...

bwahaha... when I saw sofie posted in here I knew something party pooping would come.

[Spliffie]

Just to quanlify i dont mean slutty or fucking with guys minds i mean if you like a guy make it obvious almost any guy i know wouldnt care and most would think its awesome we live in a world of "womens rights" yet you still wont make the first move im sorry i know its a bit of a rant but after reading a few relevant posts its starting to annoy me why should we do all the work?


Look at examples from nature - plenty of animal species operate in the same way. By making the move (with confidence) you show you ain't a beta-male who's terrified of women; by not making a move, you're suggesting either disinterest or a beta-male mindset - neither of which will get you anywhere with the majority of the female population.

[Sofie]

bwahaha... when I saw sofie posted in here I knew something party pooping would come.

:confused:

[bluewisdom]

Because if we are too forward, we get called 'slutty', or men run away scared from a girl that can take the intiative.

[soraliah]

im not very forward when it comes to guys unfortunately.

if im in a club/pub or whatever and theres someone there i like, i always try and make myself go over to them but i never can!! im just waay too shy with guys - plus i always get the feeling that if i DO go over then theyre gonna be thinking 'why the hell is SHE coming over here'?! i just dont think im good enough for most guys. it sucks

hoowever - i went to london the other week and there was a guy on my coach that i reeally liked but had never spoke to. dont know if it was because of the different surroundings, or just if i was more comfortable with this guy than most, but i was actually able to go up to him in the bar that night and said hey first :yippe: first for everything! now we've been going out for 2 weeks :D wahey! i should do it more often me thinks..

[Deep Fathom]

Because if we are too forward, we get called 'slutty', or men run away scared from a girl that can take the intiative.

You must know a lot of jerks then.

[StrubbleS]

plus i always get the feeling that if i DO go over then theyre gonna be thinking 'why the hell is SHE coming over here'?! i just dont think im good enough for most guys. it sucks

No... If they had the guts, they'd came already and appreciate it, if the girl makes the move.

It's similar like in class. Some people are just too shy to say anything in front of class, because they believe the others mock her or think of her as stupid. They usually just don't care or look up to that confidence you brought up.

Because if we are too forward, we get called 'slutty', or men run away scared from a girl that can take the intiative.

No... I don't know HOW forward you have to be to be called slutty. Like undressing in the pub and sitting on the strangers lap? I never ever heard ot saw that happening and I can't even imagine a girl marked as slutty for making a move. For me it's very impressive and I would never make the girl that came over feel uncomfortable.
It's like with me and the girl sophie in the bus (if you remember, bluewisdom), she made the first (tiny step) and I totally slid out of my shell and we had a very good time afterwards.
Forward girls who take the initiative are awesome.

[bluewisdom]

No... I don't know HOW forward you have to be to be called slutty. Like undressing in the pub and sitting on the strangers lap? I never ever heard ot saw that happening and I can't even imagine a girl marked as slutty for making a move. For me it's very impressive and I would never make the girl that came over feel uncomfortable.
It's like with me and the girl sophie in the bus (if you remember, bluewisdom), she made the first (tiny step) and I totally slid out of my shell and we had a very good time afterwards.
Forward girls who take the initiative are awesome.Well I meant it on a more general scale - not really referring to a little first move in a pub or something. More in terms of when a girl is pursuing a bloke... she has to be very subtle, because if she isn't, she gets called a slut or scares the bloke off.

[I'm With Stupid]

Well I meant it on a more general scale - not really referring to a little first move in a pub or something. More in terms of when a girl is pursuing a bloke... she has to be very subtle, because if she isn't, she gets called a slut or scares the bloke off.
Yeah she gets called a slut by the girls that aren't confident enough to go for what they want. I mean it's not if being upfront means you have to fuck him on the first date or something. And even if you did do that, that's no indication that a girl is really into you, she might just fancy a shag then never call again.

[Lacy]

Yeah she gets called a slut by the girls that aren't confident enough to go for what they want. I mean it's not if being upfront means you have to fuck him on the first date or something. And even if you did do that, that's no indication that a girl is really into you, she might just fancy a shag then never call again.

It's not just girls actually, i've heard many a bloke refer to girls that are too forward as sluts. Of course that wouldn't stop them bangin her but such is life.

To the OP, i don't think you can say men do all the work, and women just do nothing. I am plenty forward, and i know loads of girls exactly the same. If i want something, i'll go for it. Simple.

[StrubbleS]

Yeah she gets called a slut by the girls that aren't confident enough to go for what they want. I mean it's not if being upfront means you have to fuck him on the first date or something. And even if you did do that, that's no indication that a girl is really into you, she might just fancy a shag then never call again.

Totally Agreed... Do you know what have been said to me, when pursuing a girl?, bluewisdom?, "I bet you are just bored from jacking off, so you are looking out for her."

Do you know who said that? A loser 'friend' who whines all day about not having a girl, even tho he HARDLY spoke to a single one, moreover does he behave like an immature idiot all the time.

There is nothing wrong with a girl pursuing a bloke, and being subtle won't help usually. I even think it works in the girl --> bloke direction BETTER, because if you are really upfront with a girl you are labeled a rapist or really desperate or something quickly.

i've heard many a bloke refer to girls that are too forward as sluts.
And do you know why this is??? because those "being forwards" were not directed at those people who are calling them sluts. Jealous pricks, that's all.

[sophia]

.

[I'm With Stupid]

Me too. Usually the ones who know they haven't got a chance in hell of banging her because she's out of their league.
Just what I was gonna say.

[Skive]

I think it's often left up to men to make the first move, for instance it's the men have always been expected to ask girls to dance and it's supposed to be the bloke who makes the marriage proposal.