PDA

View Full Version : Babys father giving me a hard time


NothingGoldCanStay
06-12-2006, 02:25 AM
So the other night I finally talked to my BD for the first time since I told him i was keeping the baby, and he ran off and had been ignoring me. I sent him an instant message and asked him why he was trying to run away and the first thing he says to me is "wanna hang out?". Really, what would make him think that i want to see him ever again.
I guess I'm in a different situation than a lot of other girls here because he said he wanted to "work on us, because we're going to be a part of each others' lives forever now"... But to me, there is no "us" theres just him, the druggy alcoholic who works three fast food jobs just to barely make is rent. And then theres me, in Culinary school, 6 months pregnant.
I told him i didnt want him in the baby's life and he said "its my kid, so i want to help rasie it", but really i dont want him anywhere near the child, hes a horrible person, and is barely capable of taking care of himself. First he said he has no money to even pay child support, and then, in the same conversation he says he wants to help raise the child, I dont really understand how that works.
Also in the same conversation he went from "I dont want a kid, maybe adoption is the best option" to "What makes you think youll get custody anyway, I have a job and am paying my own rent.." . He doesnt realize that while he may have a job and is paying rent, I have the support of my entire family behind me and will be able to give this baby a better life than he ever will.
The thing is, Im sure he's only saying he wants to help raise the child if he's paying child support because he knows im way more likely to just tell him he doesnt have to pay anything and let him completely off the hook, because I really want him nowhere near my baby. he's done nothing but hurt me in the time ive known him, and I'm not going to let him ruin my childs life. Hes completely unreliable.. he got kicked out of school, does drugs, spends his weekends partying and drinking, thats not the type of father i want for my baby, and im terrified im going to have to let him have partial custody because he's the father.
He told me that if I dont want anything from him i have to get a legal document signed that says so, but if i want him to pay child support i have to let him see the baby, im leaning way toward the first option.. i was just looking for some advice before i made any decisions

katralla
06-12-2006, 03:22 AM
I can tell you're upset about all this, you could really do with someone impartial to talk with and some legal advice too. Rights for Fathers are diff in different countries, are you in England? It doesn't sound like you know what you want from baby father that is within what he is capable of giving/doing. Financial child support and child contact/access are two seperate issues. He should make payments to support the child based on his income. His contact with the child should be the amount that is in the chihld's best interests, which doesn't necessarily coincide with what your or your family's emotional wants.