GUM Clinic treated me and boyfriend like rubbish

[eternalsunshine23uk]

hi,

about a month ago i started getting a strange colour discharge, now i have had thrush before and i am right in saying its not a STI? me and my boyfriend have been together 5 years and have been totally faithful and i 100% trust him. so i went to the doctor said i think its thrush......it would be a 3 weeks wait to make sure it was thrush and for it too be treated. so i went to my local hospital my doctor told me i would get a tested for it sooner there. so i went....... got asked lots of questions had test for thrush but they also pushed other tested on me...and because i thought i might aswell get it all done now. i was then told i might have clymidia < sorry i dont know how to spell it> well i was then told it was an STI and it can only be by having unprotected sex with other people! i said .......no we havnt slept with other people they said ........yes... and they kept saying you bf has slept with someone else then!
so he came to same tests to prove it! i was so angry they asked him some questions and asked "have you slept with other people" he said no and they said ......theres something you not telling me......and was rude and kept on and on at him!

im sorry but why do people have to think the worst of other and not believe sometimes that you can both be faithful.
the test results are not back yet......and im sure i just got thrush! but i wouldnt want to be judged by a GUM clinic again! :mad:

[sugar_mouse]

sorry, but if this was me id complain to the head of the department at the hospital. that isnt on at all!! did you get this doctors name. they're meant to deal with any issue, but especially private ones like these, without personl opinion!!!

[squeal]

Yeah i agree, i would write and complain, they should keep their opinions to themselves.

If you have to go to the hospital to get the results or talk to them about it then ask for some details of where you can write to complain and who treated you.

[eternalsunshine23uk]

yeah i got some names i was so angry. i went tues and boyfriend just went today. so yes i will complain.
i am right then i can get thrush without sleeping with other people! i hate people thinking the worst of me and my boyfriend! doesnt anyone believe in love and trust anymore!

[sugar_mouse]

im sure you can get thrush without sleeping with another person, as its a yeast infection. he shouldnt have implied that your bf was not faithful

[squeal]

yeah i got some names i was so angry. i went tues and boyfriend just went today. so yes i will complain.
i am right then i can get thrush without sleeping with other people! i hate people thinking the worst of me and my boyfriend! doesnt anyone believe in love and trust anymore!

Definitely, you can get thrush without sleeping around, even more likely to get if it you are pregnant.

Although i got the impression you meant that they were implying it wasn't thrush but an STI which then meant that someone would of had to be unfaithful.

Just wait for the results and then throw it all back in their face and write a nasty letter to their manager :p

[eternalsunshine23uk]

yeh, thanks for the advice.guys..its just the way they questioned him. oh they also gave me some anti biotic tablets (sorry spelling terrible) ...but im not sure where to take them or not. they seem to think i have Clymidia but will it be any harm you think taking tablets before test results?? im so confused why give me theres now and not know test results! they must really think i have an STI and i gave them no reason to think i had one!

[SuzyCreamcheese]

If you do find that you have chlamydia, then maybe you DO need to have a word with your boyfriend, although i definitely think their tact and diplomacy sounds like it leaves a lot to be desired.
If its just thrush then Id think you deserve an apology from them.

[squeal]

yeh, thanks for the advice.guys..its just the way they questioned him. oh they also gave me some anti biotic tablets (sorry spelling terrible) ...but im not sure where to take them or not. they seem to think i have Clymidia but will it be any harm you think taking tablets before test results?? im so confused why give me theres now and not know test results! they must really think i have an STI and i gave them no reason to think i had one!

I'm not sure, read the instructions or try and research them on google. If you can't find anything out then just give the GUM clinic a ring (even after everything) they will know what to do after all but i can't see any harm in it.

[eternalsunshine23uk]

it cant be chlamydia. i know what for sure unless theres some way of catching that without me or my boyfriend sleeping with other people. i wish i never went to the GUM clinic now i only went coz doctor said it would be faster then waiting for 3 weeks appointment for them to do a swab.

this clinic is only small one in cheshire so i hope other clinics in london are a lot better i dont wish anyone to experiance this when your in a loving realtionship.

[eternalsunshine23uk]

i might wait till test results are in. thanks guys. anyone else got an experiance of clinics like this??? let me know.

i will get over the anger in a few days lol !

[squeal]

it cant be chlamydia. i know what for sure unless theres some way of catching that without me or my boyfriend sleeping with other people. i wish i never went to the GUM clinic now i only went coz doctor said it would be faster then waiting for 3 weeks appointment for them to do a swab.

this clinic is only small one in cheshire so i hope other clinics in london are a lot better i dont wish anyone to experiance this when your in a loving realtionship.

What IF it is chlamydia though?

Alot of people trust their other halves 100% even the women who's partners have had an affair probably did until all was revealed, but the truth is who can you really trust?

Not accusing him of cheating at all, i'm just saying. It's a sad fact in life really but its great that the trust if there in your relationship because not everyone is the same and there are many decent faithfulll people out there.

[eternalsunshine23uk]

if it was.......which i will be very surprised if it is chlamydia! but hes had plenty of time to talk to me or tell me, he keeps saying he hasnt been with anyone else. 5 years is a long time i know him inside out. he also hasnt got time to cheat on me we live together. he works .......come home and spends time with me and gets up and goes to work and so on.

but we will see when the results are in.....10 days wait i think.

[Knobbbly]

I'm sorry but things like this get me angry. You are infected - this is fact! Since you manifested symptoms recently it might suggest recent infection (but maybe it can be asymptomatic for some time). These people are very experienced and likely they're sure the only possible vector of transmission is unprotected sex. It seems that by deductive reasoning that either of you (or both) have been unfaithful and had unprotected sex with someone else!

The hospital staff are giving you the benefit of their experience and trying to find the cause but you seem unable to accept this help?!

[squeal]

if it was.......which i will be very surprised if it is chlamydia! but hes had plenty of time to talk to me or tell me, he keeps saying he hasnt been with anyone else. 5 years is a long time i know him inside out. he also hasnt got time to cheat on me we live together. he works .......come home and spends time with me and gets up and goes to work and so on.

but we will see when the results are in.....10 days wait i think.

I hate waiting :( I'm sure it'l be fine though, if i was you i'd take those antibiotics cos if it's causing you discomfort then i wouldn't be able to wait that long. I'm sure they wouldn't have given you something that wasn't safe for you to take even though they don't know what it is yet.

[squeal]

I'm sorry but things like this get me angry. You are infected - this is fact! Since you manifested symptoms recently it might suggest recent infection (but maybe it can be asymptomatic for some time). These people are very experienced and likely they're sure the only possible vector of transmission is unprotected sex. It seems that by deductive reasoning that either of you (or both) have been unfaithful and had unprotected sex with someone else!

The hospital staff are giving you the benefit of their experience and trying to find the cause but you seem unable to accept this help?!

I see your point, however i think she meant it was the mannerism in which it was said.

After both saying no, they should have accepted that answer until the test results arrived instead of practically accusing him of cheating.

[eternalsunshine23uk]

Nobbly,
i went to the clinic asking for a swab test for thrush, also symptoms can have different reasons.....discharge can be symptom of thrush or other things.
yes i accept there help but i dont accept there judgement towards me and my boyfriend. if you was a dectective would you say someone was guilty without the facts??? i think they should of waited for the results before questioning my bf so harshly.
t

[Knobbbly]

if you was a dectective would you say someone was guilty without the facts??? i think they should of waited for the results before questioning my bf so harshly.
t

Ok, I can understand it might seem a little cold and discompassionate. What are these people meant to say, lie to you to make you feel better? It's the scientific method. Especially if you have tested positive.

Maybe there is some error and maybe you feel justification to ask for retest, handling and lab errors are made. I think they will have even told you about this.

[eternalsunshine23uk]

the point is i have no tested positive, they tests have been done but no results yet didnt you read that?
i dont expect them to lie no but i do expect them to take my answar and not keep asking the same question........ have you slept with someone else......no have you slept with someone else.........no ........(wouldnt you get annoyed if you kept having to answar that?) and no test results to pove anything means they could of handled it a bit better!

[eternalsunshine23uk]

also Nobbly .....i can tell you have been hurt in the past but it doesnt mean everyone is the same. im sorry if your girlfriend has hurt you.

[Knobbbly]

also Nobbly .....i can tell you have been hurt in the past but it doesnt mean everyone is the same. im sorry if your girlfriend has hurt you.

Hey, its ok :) That is sweet of you to say. Maybe I read all of this a little fast, I thought you had tested positive.

They have made some speculation about what they think it is. Okay, that is reasonable but without conclusive evidence then it is simply that, speculation. It is a harsh generalisation they've probably made about young people.

[Captain]

That's awful - they aren't supposed to judge or offer any sort of personal opinion on what's going on.

Good job you took their names, if the tests come back negative definitely complain and get something done about it. Actually just complain now - the way they treated you was well out of order.

[eternalsunshine23uk]

yep you didnt read it in full no i have not been tested positive.
can you see why im angry now?
i thought you was making a harsh generalisation about all couples cheating on each other ever after a long term realtionship! im glad your not like that.

the fact is yes i got someone wrong down there but not all people that go to GUM clinics have an STI some people go because they want advice or there preg? im sure they should realise that.

[Scary Monster]

Take the antibiotic course they have given as detailed on the prescription. Realistically one course of antibiotics isn't going to do you any harm and if there is anything there it's better to get rid of it sooner rather than later.

I'm guessing they also gave you boyfriend treatment? IIRC you should both take the full course and abstain completely or at least use condoms until both finished the treatment and have been checked that you are clear.

It may be that one of you has had it for a long time and never knew and the symptoms are only manifesting themselves now.

[eternalsunshine23uk]

maybe either me or him could of had it for 5 years and not knew??? ummm thanks for advice i will look into it.
no he just had tests done today and because he has no symptoms they gave him nothing just tests.

[Scary Monster]

I guess that's possible, it'll be a case of wait and see. In the meantime I'd take the treatment and take precuations to ensure that you don't pass back and forth whatever it is you have. While thrush isn't necessarily sexually transmitted I have a sneaky feeling it can be so you won't properly get rid of it if he's getting it off you.

Maybe when you do get the results you could talk to your doctor (who you sound much happier with) about treatments and what to do etc rather than the GUM clinic.

[eternalsunshine23uk]

great advice cheers, so have you had problems like this before you sound pretty clued up about it all???

[Scary Monster]

Mine were a little more self inflicted.... I think I'm clear, he thinks he's clear, I'm on the pill, so what's one night? :rolleyes: We live and learn.

[StrubbleS]

Let us know the test results then plz.

[eternalsunshine23uk]

thats if it is clamydia. i got a long wait to find out now.

[squeal]

I guess that's possible, it'll be a case of wait and see. In the meantime I'd take the treatment and take precuations to ensure that you don't pass back and forth whatever it is you have. While thrush isn't necessarily sexually transmitted I have a sneaky feeling it can be so you won't properly get rid of it if he's getting it off you.

Maybe when you do get the results you could talk to your doctor (who you sound much happier with) about treatments and what to do etc rather than the GUM clinic.

Yeah you can pass thrush back and forth through sex.

[eternalsunshine23uk]

oh well. :-( i will have to make sure my bf doesnt get it. i was thinking!!! i saw on the net that wearing tight clothes can cause thrush....i wear jeans a lot and have put on a little bit of weight. also i always wear thongs maybe thats something i need to sort out.

[Scary Monster]

Good old cotton granny pants are the way forward until this is sorted. Good hygiene down there with running water and nothing else will also help.

Not that I'm implying you have poor hygiene, just that you might use some kind of evil body wash or something!

[living_in_chaos]

if you suspect you have thrush again, it is possible to get over the counter treatment from your local pharmacist without a prescription. Might be wise to invest in some, especially as antibiotics can sometimes cause thrush.

[eternalsunshine23uk]

ohhhhhhh i dont know what to do for the best!!! i will let you all know the results .....10 days.......:-(

[TheSovereign]

surely if you goto GUM/GPs whatever you're asking for their opinion on what could be anything from an abnormal smear to a diagnosis of STI's.

so maybe it's wrong to assume, but if the truth makes you feel bad, then don't ask their opinion. it's outrageous to think of complaining.

[Nikki*]

so maybe it's wrong to assume, but if the truth makes you feel bad, then don't ask their opinion. it's outrageous to think of complaining.

Yes, but they're diagnosing her with something they're not sure she has yet, and telling them that they HAVE cheated, whether they know about it or not! They're generalising, and until those test results are back to say if she does have it or not, they have no right to tell her she definetley has the STI. With no postive test, once they had been told that they were in a faithful relationship, they should have taken that as gospel, whether thats what they belived in their head or not.

I'd of got annoyed at the place if I was you, tbh, and I agree you are well within your rights to complain, and complain loudly.

[Scary Monster]

surely if you goto GUM/GPs whatever you're asking for their opinion on what could be anything from an abnormal smear to a diagnosis of STI's.

so maybe it's wrong to assume, but if the truth makes you feel bad, then don't ask their opinion. it's outrageous to think of complaining.

You're not asking their opinion, well I'm not anyway. I want professional medical advice, a good diagnosis and treatment for a condition. I expect to be treated with respect, and I expect my relationship to be respected. They're job is not to judge, it's to treat.

While complaining about their suggested diagnosis would be unreasonable, complaining about their manner is not unreasonable in the slightest.

[Kermit]

I'm not meaning to be funny either, but if it is chlamydia then you caught it from somewhere. And I'd expect medical professionals to be a little more clued up on what chlamydia swabs look like than yourself.

[lipsy]

Not meaning so sound harsh but if you were that certain that it is just thrush, why didn't you just pop down to boots?
i've never had thrush so if i did suddenly develop it then i would want to go to the doctors first to make sure thats what it was before i started any medication for it. and the OP did want to go to the doctors but the GUM clinic was quicker.


either way, being tested at a clinic is distressing enough. the doctor should have been more tactful rather than asking personal questions about if she had cheated on her boyfriend and that she was lying or her boyfriend was. thats out of order.

[Scary Monster]

I'm not meaning to be funny either, but if it is chlamydia then you caught it from somewhere. And I'd expect medical professionals to be a little more clued up on what chlamydia swabs look like than yourself.

But she (or he) could have had it for a long time and the sypmtoms only show now. GUM clinics are not supposed to judge your relationship, it's fine for them to say that they think it's chlamydia but the staff there shouldn't be attacking someone's relationship ever and certainly not until they have definite proof.

[eternalsunshine23uk]

Not meaning so sound harsh but if you were that certain that it is just thrush, why didn't you just pop down to boots?


i went to boots and the instructions on the cream says "see a gp to conform it first so i thought i would ask a gps advice first then i got sent to the GUM clinic! also i have had thrush before it said if you had thrush before in the last 6 months see a gp ! so its a never ending circle!

[CheeseOnToast]

They did the same to my girlfriend and we are both 100% too! They basically told her I'd been fucking someone else! And I bloody haven't!

Also as someone said, it could of been in their system from a previous relationship, it can harber itself for years.

Turns out my girlfriend had thrush and a water infection.. fucking bastards!

[eternalsunshine23uk]

yes thats the point im trying to make! i am in a loving realtionship we talk to each other about everything and we have been together so long! we dont even have any problems! i know i went there for there help i understand that. but we went there and told them everything.....how many times we have sex....all the personal stuff and when it came too......have you slept with anyone else we told them "no just together for 5 years " they say ......you lie! you have sti! how can they say this!!!! im sorry if some people think im going on and on or some people think the GUM clinic are FINE for treating me and my bf like this ....thats your comment. but i feel hurt .....still and its been 6 days now since we went there!

thanks to all who have shared there storys and who think my comments are right.

[Kermit]

The staff in family planning clinics aren't always the best (I remember GWST being told she weighed fourteen stone and was four foot nine, er, maybe not...) but I don't think they've been that out of order. I doubt that many of their clients have been sleeping around without protection- that's if you believe the clients, anyway.

[Scary Monster]

It's still not their place to judge. IIRC it's part of their job requirements that they don't.

Fair play they make you aware that it's a possibilty but they are not supposed to accuse you of lying.

[Kermit]

I fully understand why they did it- I've seen it loads where some poor girl has gone in with the clap, and her smug cunt of a BF sits there and says he's never done anything, when he's been porking anything with a skirt on. I think most people who say they haven't done anything are liars, and I would definitely expect GUM staff to think that.

Yeah, they could have been more discreet about it, but if she has caught an STI she caught it from somewhere.

[Bunnie]

I was once told, 'its highly likely you have chlamydia, take these pills, and we will let you know your results'
2 weeks later, i got my results, and i didnt have chlamydia at all.
theyre just being careful, as it is a very very nasty disease, but I agree, the way they implied one of you had been unfaithful is not on.
take your pills if they have given you some, and remember if you do have it, its possible one of you could have had it from a past relationship. chlamydia can show no symptoms.
thats why it is so important kiddies to go get checked frequently!

[Scary Monster]

I fully understand why they did it- I've seen it loads where some poor girl has gone in with the clap, and her smug cunt of a BF sits there and says he's never done anything, when he's been porking anything with a skirt on. I think most people who say they haven't done anything are liars, and I would definitely expect GUM staff to think that.

Yeah, they could have been more discreet about it, but if she has caught an STI she caught it from somewhere.

Which prat let you anywhere near the poor girls who have plucked up the courage to go and get themselves checked out?

It seems you're saying that most people cheat in their relationships?

And you seem to have missed the point, it's still an IF she's caught something at the moment.

You really do come across as an arrogant t### on this one.

[Kermit]

I've sen it on here, and elsewhere. I'm no medical professional.

If she isn't with an STI then no, they shouldn't have said it. being more circumspect would have been better, at least until the results are in. I thought she actually had chlamydia, as there's an if perhaps they should have waited before wading in. And no, I don't think that most people cheat.

But lets be honest here, if an STI is introduced to a relationship then its come from somewhere. You don't get STIs from toilet seats or toothbrushes, do you? If its an STI then one of the partners is lying.

[eternalsunshine23uk]

right, if your going to comment please read my first post it clearly says ..........no test results yet! please!!!

also i was told that i could of carried it for 5 years before any syptoms. so it could be that but the longger i wait for the results the more i think its thrush and just a bad case of it.

some people actually understand me on here! and it helps me and my bf to wait for the results knowing other people surporrt us ............IN ARE TOTALLY FAITHFUL REALTIONSHIP. to the other people ........i wouldnt like to wish this to happen to you .........but how would you feel being judged??

[SuzyCreamcheese]

id feel awful, and if it turned out to be just a case of thrush, while theyd wrongfully insinuated one of us had been unfaithful, that could be devastating for a hell of a lot of relationships. They should keep judgements to themselves tbh. I was under the impression they had to, but obviously not.
If it was me, I would make a complaint.
Even if it turned out to be chlamydia, as has already been pointed out, its unfortunately one of those symptomless diseases that can OFTEN lie dormant for years and people dont know theyve got it till theyve done a test. Even if she had it, it wouldnt necessarily mean her boyfriend had been unfaithful, so they really should keep their idiotic judgemental mouths shut sometimes.

[Scary Monster]

If she isn't with an STI then no, they shouldn't have said it. being more circumspect would have been better, at least until the results are in. I thought she actually had chlamydia, as there's an if perhaps they should have waited before wading in.



That is precisely the point that most people have been making, they shouldn't judge ever, but definitely shouldn't until they know for sure.

I really thought you would know better than to put up damming posts without reading properly! :banghead:

But lets be honest here, if an STI is introduced to a relationship then its come from somewhere. You don't get STIs from toilet seats or toothbrushes, do you? If its an STI then one of the partners is lying.

Not necessarily true, many STIs are symptomless for a long time.

[eternalsunshine23uk]

no results yet.does anyone know if its 10 working days or just 10 days to wait???

[lipsy]

you should phone and ask them that. normally its just a week you have to wait but i guess it varies from place to place.

[katralla]

last time I went (recently, all clear) I was told ten days and given an 'appointment' time to phone in for my results with my name dob and a pre-aranged password. Give them a call.

[Rebekah]

Hiya,
Try not to worry too much the clinic are probably just trying to ensure that you are completely checked out after all its better to be safe than sorry. I cannot understand why your doctor would tell you to wait 3 weeks to be tested for thrush when there is no test needed at all just a quick peek "down there" and he should have been able to diagnose thrush or not. Perhaps your doctor wanted you to be checked for std's because thrush gives similar symptoms to chlamydia.
Read thesites article on chlamydia (http://www.thesite.org/sexandrelationships/safersex/sexualhealth/chlamydia) for more information on it.
Chlamydia can be caught without having sex and can stay in your body for years unnoticed so it is better to find out and have a peace of mind. It is the easiest of std's to catch but also completely treatable.
As far as the clinic is concerned they were wrong to be pressurising you both so badly all i can imagine is that they wanted to ensure you were getting the correct treatment. I hope this helps x x Rebekah x x :p

[eternalsunshine23uk]

hi all! good news

results are back...... boyfriend is clear and im clear. they said i might of just had a serious case of thrush. i got an appointment next week to see its cleared up and another test.

[eternalsunshine23uk]

i did ring up and they confirmed it.
but there still not sure what is up just there was a high amount of yeast. but i def dont have an STI and my boyfriend is totally clear!
i made an appointment with a normal doctor. i dont think i will go to a GUM clinic again.

[satehen]

anyone else got an experiance of clinics like this??? let me know.



Not like that, but i did go to my local clinic once to get some dental dams (female oral sex shield). It was advertised on the list of condoms and lubes etc. When i asked the woman gave me a funny look, disappeared for a while then came back and told me she'll have to ask a nurse. It's not what she said, but the way she said it, as though i was inconveniencing her. i waited at that desk for around 15 minutes and she only gave me 3 because they were in short supply. If you want condoms for straight sex you get them instantly in a bag of 12. I was not amused.