Would you Date someone who has Cheated in the past?

[Snerd]

would you date someone who has cheated in the past?

[sophia]

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[SuzyCreamcheese]

it would depend on why they cheated, how long ago it was etc.
It would certainly set alarm bells ringing.

[go_away]

Yes, a person's past is their past.

[pink_glitter]

i agree with SCC, i cheated in the past, but at the time i was about 14, werent serious etc. not an excuse, but i didnt take boyfriends seriously, which no one should at that age. however, my views on cheating are different now and i could never forgive anyone who cheated on me. my views are now, if you want to see other people, dont be in a relationship. id be quite upset if someone didnt like me because i had cheated before, because im more grown up now, i see things in a different way and i hate cheaters. my mums one and its something ive unfortunately had to grow up experiencing. so thats maybe why at 14 i thought it was ok, ive now grown into my own mind.

[Tweety]

it would depend on why they cheated, how long ago it was etc.
It would certainly set alarm bells ringing.

:yes:

[squeal]

It depends, if i really liked him then it would be hard to say no to being with him.
However i would be aware of his past and most likely not fall too hard too fast incase there is the risk of getting hurt.

You've got to give people a chance though, especially when you could be missing out on something potentially good.

Also there are more than one reason why people cheat. It may not be acceptable, but it can still be understandable possibly in some circumstances.

[Bullseye]

Yes. We're none of us angels.


Is that a subtle way to confess to have cheated? ;)

Yes, i would! Yes, i did!

[Bri-namite]

It wouldn't make a difference if I liked her enough.

[sophia]

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[I'm With Stupid]

It wouldn't make a difference if I liked her enough.
Same here. But knowing my luck, it'd probably come back to bite me in the arse.

[otter]

would you date someone who has cheated in the past?
probably :yes:
as long as it had been a one off

[VinylVicky]

i agree with SCC, i cheated in the past, but at the time i was about 14, werent serious etc. not an excuse, but i didnt take boyfriends seriously, which no one should at that age. however, my views on cheating are different now and i could never forgive anyone who cheated on me. my views are now, if you want to see other people, dont be in a relationship. id be quite upset if someone didnt like me because i had cheated before, because im more grown up now, i see things in a different way and i hate cheaters. my mums one and its something ive unfortunately had to grow up experiencing. so thats maybe why at 14 i thought it was ok, ive now grown into my own mind.
I'd say cheating doesn't really count when you are that age! I last cheated when I was 18, though I had good reasons and I was young etc.....I ope someone wouldnt bare a grudge over it! I wouldn't do it again.

[red_jelly]

Probably not.

I've done it before, thinking they've done it before but it'll be different with me, but it never has, they've all gone and cheated on me too. But what did I expect?

In my opinion once a cheater always a cheater.

Anyone with any morals would end a bad relationship rather then cheat in it.

[Tweety]

In my opinion once a cheater always a cheater.



I disagree with you there. I cheated on my ex but i would NEVER EVER do that to Chris.

[Sofie]

I disagree with you there. I cheated on my ex but i would NEVER EVER do that to Chris.

Depends what your reason was though.

[Tweety]

Depends what your reason was though.

I don't know i have a reason, he was a shit, i was in a dead end relationship which i didn't have the strength to end at the time(6 years is a long time to just walk away from). I guess it was the cheating that gave me the strength.
It's not an excuse and to this day he doesn't know i did, i am not proud of what i did.
But i know in my heart of hearts i would never do it to Chris.

[sophia]

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[migpilot]

it would depend on why they cheated, how long ago it was etc.


Definitely.
Depends of why they cheated. If she's done it once, why wouldn't she do it again?
Also, the "It didn't mean anything" thing doesn't wash with me, however true it might have been.

[sophia]

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[squeal]

We all make mistakes. If she had a history of a lot of infidelity, then fair enough. But to say, "once a cheater, always a cheater" is just ludicrously simplistic imo.

I thought that once apon a time, my friend kept saying it to me and i ignored it and took the guy back, he then cheated on me again.

Obviously not all men are like that but still.

[red_jelly]

I don't know i have a reason, he was a shit, i was in a dead end relationship which i didn't have the strength to end at the time(6 years is a long time to just walk away from). I guess it was the cheating that gave me the strength.
It's not an excuse and to this day he doesn't know i did, i am not proud of what i did.
But i know in my heart of hearts i would never do it to Chris.

I'm not saying you're a bad person in anyway, but I think there's never an excuse for cheating. If someone has a problem with a relationship then they should confront it. Being in a bad relationship and being treated badly by your other half is no excuse to cheat, in my opinion, it is exactly the same as just cheating. Everyone cheats for a reason, people who are compleatly content and happy don't cheat, but that doesn't make it any less terrible.

IF I knew a girl had cheated because her last boyfriend trated her badly and she was unhappy I would be thinking well what if we have an argument and she's unhappy, or what if she's not happy and won't tell me so I don't know and can't do anything about it and instead she might just go off and cheat on me. It's just not worth the worry in my opinion.

[Tweety]

I'm not saying you're a bad person in anyway, but I think there's never an excuse for cheating. If someone has a problem with a relationship then they should confront it. Being in a bad relationship and being treated badly by your other half is no excuse to cheat, in my opinion, it is exactly the same as just cheating. Everyone cheats for a reason, people who are compleatly content and happy don't cheat, but that doesn't make it any less terrible.

IF I knew a girl had cheated because her last boyfriend trated her badly and she was unhappy I would be thinking well what if we have an argument and she's unhappy, or what if she's not happy and won't tell me so I don't know and can't do anything about it and instead she might just go off and cheat on me. It's just not worth the worry in my opinion.
Did you read exactly what i wrote?
I said it's not an excuse and that i am not proud of what i did.

[Sofie]

IF I knew a girl had cheated because her last boyfriend trated her badly and she was unhappy I would be thinking well what if we have an argument and she's unhappy, or what if she's not happy and won't tell me so I don't know and can't do anything about it and instead she might just go off and cheat on me. It's just not worth the worry in my opinion.

If a girl cheated on her boyfriend, it would probably be alot more than them having an argument.

As for me - it would depend what the reason for cheating was.

[Tweety]

it would probably be alot more than them having an argument.


It wasn't an arguement in my case, he just treated me like shit (try walking out and leaving your gf when shes having her first panic attack, can't breath and you are more worried about the fact you have some dodgy cd's laying around that paramedics might see:rolleyes: :mad: ) thats just an example, so no what i did wasn't right but i sure as hell didn't treat him half as shit as he did me.
Shortly after i ended it.
Like i said it's not an excuse but i had my reasons/

[red_jelly]

Did you read exactly what i wrote?
I said it's not an excuse and that i am not proud of what i did.

I know, I was quoting you because you were the one who said you had cheated before but wouldn't do it again becuase it was exceptional circumstances etc.

My point was that I don't think there are any circumstances that should lead anyone to cheat. I just don't buy into the fact that some people say they are not the type of person to cheat but did it because they were forced into it.

[sophia]

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[red_jelly]

If a girl cheated on her boyfriend, it would probably be alot more than them having an argument.

Yes, obviously I simplified that for the sake of this discussion. But my point still stands.

[Tweety]

I know, I was quoting you because you were the one who said you had cheated before but wouldn't do it again becuase it was exceptional circumstances etc.

My point was that I don't think there are any circumstances that should lead anyone to cheat. I just don't buy into the fact that some people say they are not the type of person to cheat but did it because they were forced into it.

Noone is forced to cheat.

[sophia]

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[red_jelly]

Tbh tweety you don't need to justify yourself. I think of myself as a faithful person who would never cheat on my partner, but I was in the exact same situation as you and was unfaithful, and I don't think you have to explain it to anyone or put up with anyone's moral judgment of you, because until they've been in that situation they've got no idea what it's like.

I would also think it sad if because of that, future partners decided they couldn't trust me not to cheat, just because I did so once. That said, if they do, it's their loss.

Don't know if the judgement bit was aimed at me or not, but I'm not judging anyone who has cheated. I just wouldn't go out with anyone who had, no matter what the circumstances.

I've been in terrible realtionships with controlling and down right nasty girls which involved physical violence. In some of the relationships i've been in the situation where I could have cheated but I just didn't see that as a suitable way out of the situation I was in.

[red_jelly]

you really can't judge.

I haven't.
I just said if I knew a girl who told me what you have then I probably wouldn't date her.

[red_jelly]

Noone is forced to cheat.
OK, maybe forced was the wrong word, but some people blame their cheating on their partner saying how they were pushed into it by the way they were cheated and that the situation caused them to cheat. I just don't agree with that.

[Tweety]

OK, maybe forced was the wrong word, but some people blame their cheating on their partner saying how they were pushed into it by the way they were cheated and that the situation caused them to cheat. I just don't agree with that.

I don't blame him but i also lost all respect for him after the way he treated me.

[sophia]

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[migpilot]

I just think that's a bit ridiculous. Someone makes one mistake, and you rule them out forever?

We all make mistakes. If she had a history of a lot of infidelity, then fair enough. But to say, "once a cheater, always a cheater" is just ludicrously simplistic imo.

OK, you've misunderstood me. Or I haven't put it down properly...
In any case, what I meant was....

Depends on why she cheated. If she cheated once FOR THAT REASON there's every chance she would do it again. To be specific, one of my friends was going out with a guy for a certain period of time. At one point they didn't see each other for a few weeks and she cheated on him with a guy that worked with her. When I asked her why, she said to me because she had chemistry with the other guy and it didn't really mean anything, it was just about sex. She never told her boyfriend and got pissed off at me when I told her that what she's done was wrong.
So suffice to say, I would never date her.

[Sofie]

OK, you've misunderstood me. Or I haven't put it down properly...
In any case, what I meant was....

Depends on why she cheated. If she cheated once FOR THAT REASON there's every chance she would do it again. To be specific, one of my friends was going out with a guy for a certain period of time. At one point they didn't see each other for a few weeks and she cheated on him with a guy that worked with her. When I asked her why, she said to me because she had chemistry with the other guy and it didn't really mean anything, it was just about sex. She never told her boyfriend and got pissed off at me when I told her that what she's done was wrong.
So suffice to say, I would never date her.

Even if it was a one-off and this was the first time she'd ever cheate on anyone?

[red_jelly]

How can you say that without knowing the intimate details of someone else's relationship, as well as their psychology? See, you are judging after all...
What am I supposed to do then? Ask for your full history before I make a reply?
I wanted to contribute to this discussion so I did, I can only use the information i'm given.

I don't see how I am judging people. I don't agree with the way they think, how does that mean i'm judging them? You disagree with the way I think about this, but are you judging me?

[Tweety]

The last thing i ahve to say on this is not everything is as simple as black and white. If you can go through life with things being that simple then you have an easy life but things don't tend to be that simple in the real world.

[migpilot]

Even if it was a one-off and this was the first time she'd ever cheate on anyone?

1. You can guarantee me that it's a one-off?
2. Why should I believe her that it's the first time? (cheating correlates directly to lying, if she is prepared to cheat, she is prepared to lie)

[sophia]

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[lipsy]

life and relationships aren't black and white!

so you're seeing someone for a few weeks and you're starting to develop feelings for them. then you have a talk about past relationships and they say that they once cheated. are you telling me you'd actually say "oh right, well sorry but once a cheater always a cheater. you're dumped!" as if!

and just because someones never cheated before doesn't mean they they never will!

[sophia]

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[red_jelly]

"there's never any excuse for infidelity and no one can say their situation gives them an excuse", because it's making too broad a generalisation imo.

Hmmm, yes I do actually agree with that though. I really do think that no situation is an excuse to cheat. You say your situation did make it understandable, and that's fine, that's what you believe nad I have no problem with that. I just don't think I would ever use the situation I was in as an excuse. At the end of the day I would say that it was only me who allowed the cheating to happen. I can't think of any situation I would be in where I would have any blame on my partner for my actions, and i've been in some pretty awful situations before.

I'm finding it hard to write this in a way to not cause offence to you, as you've been in the situation and feel the way you feel so it is obviously a sensitive issue, but i'm honestly not trying to say you are wrong or trying to judge you. Please don't take what i'm saying as a personal attack on you, it's just the way I feel.

[migpilot]

I think it's fair enough to have your own opinion of it, the point I'm trying to make is that it's unfair to make sweeping generalisations about all people who cheat, because it can be far more complex than you might imagine.

I'm not trying to justify being unfaithful to my ex, but at the same time I think given the circumstances of our relationship at the end it's kind of understandable. So while it's fair enough to say you personally wouldn't want to go out with someone who had cheated on a partner, it becomes different when you extend the argument from that to "there's never any excuse for infidelity and no one can say their situation gives them an excuse", because it's making too broad a generalisation imo.

I am not generalizing.
I said it all depends on the situation and as to why she cheated.
I am a pretty good judge of character and i know she is prone to do it again.
Infact she has had about 4 dates with this guy and during that time slept twice with this Italian guy.
She is still my friend and I love her to bits, but i do think she is in the wrong.

I am not asking you or anyone to justify yourself. And it doesn't change my opinion of you, mainly coz I don't know you.
Also, I am not saying I would never go out with someone who has cheated before.
It's all about the WHY?
Surely if a guy said to you "I cheated on my ex because sex with her wasn't satisfying enough", you wouldn't want anything to do with him.

I am surrounded by friends who have cheated on their girlfriends and boyfriends repeatedly, yet my faith in fidelity is unpreturbed. Like a few have said, it ain't all black and white.
:)

[red_jelly]

life and relationships aren't black and white!

so you're seeing someone for a few weeks and you're starting to develop feelings for them. then you have a talk about past relationships and they say that they once cheated. are you telling me you'd actually say "oh right, well sorry but once a cheater always a cheater. you're dumped!" as if!

and just because someones never cheated before doesn't mean they they never will!

If it happened now then then I don't know what would happen, I do know that it would be a big issue for me and cause a lot of worry. It wouldn't be a case of saying "oh right, well sorry but once a cheater always a cheater. you're dumped!" but I do think I would end up finishing things. I just don't think I could be happy in that situation again.

True, just because someone hasn't cheated before doesn't mean they wont cheat in the future, but I wouldn't be concerned to the point of worrying about it if they'd never cheated before.

[sophia]

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[Snerd]

I'd say cheating doesn't really count when you are that age! I last cheated when I was 18, though I had good reasons and I was young etc.....I ope someone wouldnt bare a grudge over it! I wouldn't do it again.


what was the reason?

[my name]

I would, but then again I don't give every potential partner a 76 multiple choice question quiz with followed by writing an essay on 3 of the 5 following topics so I really wouldn't know.

[Snerd]

I am sorry but i would not date a cheater! my ex told me she never cheated but she basically did when she wasnt happy with a relationship she woudl cheat but she didnt consider it cheating...she did it to me she had bad communication skills and a mental probally possible borderline personality disorder...where they like to be the victim even though she was never diagnosed she had the signs...love of drama, sympathy and painting someone black.

dont get mad at people who dont wanna date a cheater that person who cheated should of not cheated anyway what can you blame people who wanna stay clear and not make the same mistake of giving a cheat a chance again?

if you wanna date a cheat go ahead no one stopping you but dont try to convince those who dont wanna date a cheater to give them a chance lol.

just my 2 cents

[lipsy]

sometimes people cheat when theyre young and stupid though :angel:

[icey]

i would, assuming they werent cheating on someone to be with me.
People learn from mistakes (sometimes) and circumstances change.

I've cheated on girls in the past but i wouldnt dream of doing it to the girl im with now, i love her to bits and wouldnt want to hurt her. The past girls though i just didnt really give a shit about...

[Sofie]

sometimes people cheat when theyre young and stupid though :angel:

:yes: I i know she is prone to do it again.

How do you know that? Not saying what she did is right or anything, but she could've had a reason to cheat on him...

[MrG]

possibly, but id have to be there having this whole thing happen to me before i could even start to hypothesise about it

[Barbie1406]

I'm laid back about almost everything, opinions attitudes each ot their own, I know someone who was/is incestuous, heck I went out with them for a while, but Two-timing Is one of the few things that I cannot stand, Obviously it would be circumstancial, but most likely no.

[Snerd]

I'm laid back about almost everything, opinions attitudes each ot their own, I know someone who was/is incestuous, heck I went out with them for a while, but Two-timing Is one of the few things that I cannot stand, Obviously it would be circumstancial, but most likely no.


wow what do you mean by that incestous are they having sex with there family?

thats gross why get involved with someone like that

[Blah]

Im sure theres people who learn from cheating, and people who havent cheated yet but may cheat in the future (works both ways), but if i was interested in someone who i found out cheated in the past, i'd steer clear. Just the way i am, cant help it, would put me off them big style.

[migpilot]

:yes:

How do you know that? Not saying what she did is right or anything, but she could've had a reason to cheat on him...

She is one of my best friends.
She is neither young or stupid.
And she told me why she cheated on him.

I know that the underlaying reason for her cheating is that she doesn't trust men as far as she can throw em, she's been burnt a few times. Fair enough.

[Snerd]

She is one of my best friends.
She is neither young or stupid.
And she told me why she cheated on him.

I know that the underlaying reason for her cheating is that she doesn't trust men as far as she can throw em, she's been burnt a few times. Fair enough.

ya women like thta will cheat they are weakminded.

most guys cheat cause well they get tempted by other women and alot of men are weak when it comes tot he poon.

my ex had a guy who was with her for 3 years in highschool and she wanted to wait to have sex tilll marriage and he cheated on her with some girl close to him, and then she got in relationship with a guy she lost her virginity too but was being cold to her...i thought icould save her and show her im not like thoe guys i even told her never make your new guy pay for another mans sins...it was too late such a shame she became a dime a dozen gal now...she never trusted me and she has issues its a shame cause i tried and god knows i did but no matter what i said...the women around her would manipulate her and say all men ard dogs, and they knew she was cheated on before...i cant stand thoe kinda friends...

[Sofie]

most guys cheat cause well they get tempted by other women and alot of men are weak when it comes tot he poon.

So you're saying it's a woman's fault a man cheats?:rolleyes:

[katralla]

I've cheated on people in the past just because I thought it would be amusing and I was not that bothered about their feelings etc. I've also had commited relationships where I wouldn't dream of cheating on that person, the thought wouldn't even enter my head. So for me, it depends on how I care about them and what I want from the relationship as to whether I'd cheat on them or not.

[Snerd]

So you're saying it's a woman's fault a man cheats?:rolleyes:

????

how did you get to that assumption.

[Snerd]

I've cheated on people in the past just because I thought it would be amusing and I was not that bothered about their feelings etc. I've also had commited relationships where I wouldn't dream of cheating on that person, the thought wouldn't even enter my head. So for me, it depends on how I care about them and what I want from the relationship as to whether I'd cheat on them or not.


selfish

[Sofie]

????

how did you get to that assumption.

Sorry. I must've misinterpretated your post.

[katralla]

quick

[migpilot]

Men don't cheat coz they can't resist the temptation.
Men cheat coz they are twats.

Yes, we are. Well most of us.

[Snerd]

Men don't cheat coz they can't resist the temptation.
Men cheat coz they are twats.

Yes, we are. Well most of us.


we have 2 heads...lol sometimes the little head overpowers the big one.

[Barbie1406]

wow what do you mean by that incestous are they having sex with there family?

thats gross why get involved with someone like that
I didn't know at the time, and he hadn't done it for a while and certainly not whilst we were going out, Like I said I'm very open minded lol. and It was his brother.

[Snerd]

I didn't know at the time, and he hadn't done it for a while and certainly not whilst we were going out, Like I said I'm very open minded lol. and It was his brother.


awwwww sick immma puke!:yuck: your an alias this has got to be ajoke.

[lipsy]

I've cheated on people in the past just because I thought it would be amusing and I was not that bothered about their feelings etc. I've also had commited relationships where I wouldn't dream of cheating on that person, the thought wouldn't even enter my head. So for me, it depends on how I care about them and what I want from the relationship as to whether I'd cheat on them or not.
thats exactly like me.

[Pocky]

I'm dating someone who 'kind of cheated on someone' in the past.

[katchika]

would you date someone who has cheated in the past?

I would because I have cheated myself and it's not always as simple as some people make out.

People generally cheat because they're not happy in the relationship. Just because someone cheated on their ex, doesn't mean they will cheat on you.

Having said that though, it does depend on the type of cheating. If someone is married and has a long affair that is very different to having one off sex with someone else while you are in a relationship. If someone had purposely lied and decieved their partner for a long time it would make me wonder what kind of person they were.

But then most people don't tend to share such information about themselves, it's not as though I meet guys and tell them all about my past.

[Bullseye]

Thinking about it, i always had a thing for girls who were cheaters, if i knew they were slutty in that way and often didnt stay faithful to boyfriends i found them slightly more attractive and wanted them more then lets say a good girl who never cheated no matter what. Weird eh?

[lipsy]

Thinking about it, i always had a thing for girls who were cheaters, if i knew they were slutty in that way and often didnt stay faithful to boyfriends i found them slightly more attractive and wanted them more then lets say a good girl who never cheated no matter what. Weird eh?
hello :flirt:


and yeh, that is weird

[VinylVicky]

I'm the opposite...now i love a bad boy but the fist hint he's a player/cheat I'm instantly unattracted to the geezer

[Spliffie]

Thinking about it, i always had a thing for girls who were cheaters, if i knew they were slutty in that way and often didnt stay faithful to boyfriends i found them slightly more attractive and wanted them more then lets say a good girl who never cheated no matter what. Weird eh?

Likewise. Sweet and innocent is boring.

[Bullseye]

hello :flirt:


and yeh, that is weird


Hey foxy lady :naughty:

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Question Go to first new post Would you Date someone who has Cheated in the past?

Most probably not. Each case has its own merits though. I've never cheated on anyone and wouldn't knowingly be the third-part needed to 'cheat'.

[Barbie1406]

awwwww sick immma puke!:yuck: your an alias this has got to be ajoke.
No my nickname is Barbie I am bi and he was my boyfriend, no joke.

[tretneo]

I have been in two back to back relationships over the last 8 years. They both ended with me being cheated on twice and being left for the second person that was cheated with. I don't think I would be able to date someone that I know is a cheater. I am sick of people that can't commit and be stable enough to stick with it or at least leave when they aren't happy anymore but not because they found someone new or are "confused"

Rob